I agree with you OP. The ESRB is too strict and its rating system is massively outdated. They should change it, but the problem is that the ESRB is self-regulating and accountable to nobody. They are neither created nor regulated by the government (except in terms of their financials/tax-exempt status).
They have no reason or impetus to change, and it seems highly unlikely that they ever will unless they end up doing something so outrageous that it results in public outcry. And that seems unlikely too.
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GTA 5 might draw enough attention to do that.