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8/19/2012 11:38:18 PM
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Why do parents inherently deserve respect?(edited with responses)

After seeing a thread today i have pondered this as i have been for over a decade. I don't understand why parents are entitled to get instant respect just for the sheer fact they are parents. You are raised saying "respect is given and earned" yet when it comes to parents most people assume it should automatically be given. I am only sharing this for the sake of the thread and i am not intending to blog with this; I don't have the best parents and that is a gross understatement. They only care for themselves,what is best for themselves and hardly put my sister and i first as the "ideal parents" should/do. My father hasn't done a single thing for me his entire life and makes no effort while my mother just lives her life. I suspect this is because of having children at a young age and they never got to actually "live" so they were trying to raise children while enjoying themselves. Now I am not some spoiled kid that whines about everything. I don't ask for anything so my sister can get "what she needs" and of course she is spoiled. I bought my own car, pay for my own gas and insurance, Make dinner at home if not i eat out, i bought everything in my room and majority of my cloths. I could go on but I pretty much do everything for myself and have the money to move out when i get done with school in a few months. Again, i could list all the things i do around the house blah blah. I do my part and so forth and because of such i have no reason to inherently respect my parents seeing as "i am my own parent" and have been self sufficient for nearly the last decade. I feel like the parents worth respecting are the ones that go above and beyond for their kids and don't try throwing anything in their faces because "i am your parent". I didn't ask to be born and nor did anyone else. Does that mean they should be respectful and ungrateful even when their parents are? no, but at the same time i don't see the need or reason for having some undying respect for your parents just because they are. I'll be expecting long rants (mostly from parents). The point i wanted to get across is that the respect should be earned both ways not inherently. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Scottus4 They don't inherently deserve respect. One doesn't respect doing the bare minimum for anything else, why would someone respect a parent that beats them or neglects them, even if they allowed them to live in their house with them and fed them (which are required by law, not feeding your kid is child abuse). They only deserve respect if they really put in the effort to shape a young person into a mentally and socially stable and productive member of society. [/quote] Kids, this is what he is talking and it matches what OP (Grey101) said. In fact, parents do not inherently deserve respect because they have bare minimum for anything else. They have to earn the respect by focusing its effort to their off spring to be mentally, socially stable and becoming productive member of society. If they didn't do that, then they do not deserve respect. [/quote] [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] QuestVibes No, not inherently. They earn it by providing for you and being good parents.[/quote] That is what i needed to see, thank you. [Edited on 08.20.2012 2:55 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV ITT: spolied brats Of course parents need to be respected. They have raised you. Without them, youd be dead.[/quote] You clearly need the OP.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV ITT: spolied brats Of course parents need to be respected. They have raised you. Without them, youd be dead.[/quote] Lolno, you wouldn't be alive in the first place. And expected this coming from you because you'd kick your kid out for a gender preference, PSU. [Edited on 08.20.2012 11:08 AM PDT]

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  • 0
    the respect they deserve is obviously dependent on whether they're good parents

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  • ITT: spolied brats Of course parents need to be respected. They have raised you. Without them, youd be dead.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 *Note, you don't know what the argument was or how it progressed so i wouldn't make a comment on it.[/quote]Trust me I wouldn't. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 I was saying if ish really got bad and hit the Fan i would have left myself at that age. Having somewhere else to go isn't an issue for me which negates the whole "you live under her roof crap". We have gotten in about 2 major arguments and she tried acting like a hard ass saying "we you don't have to stay here you can just leave". So i got all my stuff, left and then my phone blows up two weeks later asking me to come back and blah blah. [/quote]Again though, shes your mother. She gave birth to and raised you. She doesn't want to see you leave.

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  • If parents go so far as to asking their own child to leave their house, then by all means, leave those -blam!-s for parents.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 Um i am staying here because she wants me to I could have moved out years ago if it really got bad. You should read the OP before posting.[/quote]Yes, mothers are mothers no matter what. They have a bond with their child and she probably wouldn't want to see her "baby" walk away when hes 12. [/quote] I was saying if ish really got bad and hit the Fan i would have left myself at that age. Having somewhere else to go isn't an issue for me which negates the whole "you live under her roof crap". We have gotten in about 2 major arguments and she tried acting like a hard ass saying "we you don't have to stay here you can just leave". So i got all my stuff, left and then my phone blows up two weeks later asking me to come back and blah blah. *Note, you don't know what the argument was or how it progressed so i wouldn't make a comment on it.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.[/quote] So....they do what they are supposed to do and BOOM! they deserve respect? Lol. Don't get me started [/quote]Trust me Im not gonna get you started. I don't like arguing with people who have toxified ideas about their own parents.[/quote] Teehee. Sure. Whatever you say.

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  • I'd respect them if the were open-minded and tolerated my beliefs/decisions. If they don't, I lose a lot of respect for them.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 Um i am staying here because she wants me to I could have moved out years ago if it really got bad. You should read the OP before posting.[/quote]Yes, mothers are mothers no matter what. They have a bond with their child and she probably wouldn't want to see her "baby" walk away when hes 12.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Poy Poy [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson I was talking to the other guy, but alright. You said you still live with your parents - or mother Im not sure. I haven't read all your posts but whatever the case is, they aren't forcing you out onto the curb. Be grateful that they allow you to stay in their home.[/quote] He's going to say he chose to stay there at his mom's request, and to save money.[/quote] You know me better than Primo does.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.[/quote] So....they do what they are supposed to do and BOOM! they deserve respect? Lol. Don't get me started [/quote]Trust me Im not gonna get you started. I don't like arguing with people who have toxified ideas about their own parents.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.[/quote] Mine did not.[/quote] I was talking to the other guy, but alright. You said you still live with your parents - or mother Im not sure. I haven't read all your posts but whatever the case is, they aren't forcing you out onto the curb. Be grateful that they allow you to stay in their home.[/quote] Um i am staying here because she wants me to I could have moved out years ago if it really got bad. You should read the OP before posting.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.[/quote] So....they do what they are supposed to do and BOOM! they deserve respect? Lol. Don't get me started

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson I was talking to the other guy, but alright. You said you still live with your parents - or mother Im not sure. I haven't read all your posts but whatever the case is, they aren't forcing you out onto the curb. Be grateful that they allow you to stay in their home.[/quote] He's going to say he chose to stay there at his mom's request, and to save money.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.[/quote] Mine did not.[/quote] I was talking to the other guy, but alright. You said you still live with your parents - or mother Im not sure. I haven't read all your posts but whatever the case is, they aren't forcing you out onto the curb. Be grateful that they allow you to stay in their home.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] W0lfkill If the respect me I will respect them. If they don't respect me well... they can go -blam!- themselves.[/quote]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MickelPickel I feel that your situation is different than the one (I assume) you are speaking of (the kid was making a pizza and he got annoyed with his mom). I usually say that parents inherently deserve respect, but it is a two way street. If they make no effort to do anything for you, [i]even when you make blatant attempts to show them respect or kindness[/i], then I agree with you, and they do not inherently deserve respect.[/quote] Pretty much what i wanted to get across.

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  • I feel that your situation is different than the one (I assume) you are speaking of (the kid was making a pizza and he got annoyed with his mom). I usually say that parents inherently deserve respect, but it is a two way street. If they make no effort to do anything for you, [i]even when you make blatant attempts to show them respect or kindness[/i], then I agree with you, and they do not inherently deserve respect.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Kashmir A17 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 I just think my interpretation of respect is different and i am failing to find the correct word for what i am tying to convey.[/quote] Admiration? Aspiration? Any parent deserves some modicum of respect. After all, they could have aborted you, but they chose to raise you instead.[/quote] What are you guys thinking when i say "respect"? because i stated in the OP that i don't talk to my mom in a disrespectful matter so i am trying to understand what you guys are getting at. My parents are religious thus they wouldn't do anything but keep the child. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.[/quote] Mine did not.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 I just think my interpretation of respect is different and i am failing to find the correct word for what i am tying to convey.[/quote] Admiration? Aspiration? Any parent deserves some modicum of respect. After all, they could have aborted you, but they chose to raise you instead.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] WolverineWX Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different[/quote]They raised you.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 you do not owe your parents for doing the things expected of them [b]as parents[/b]. [/quote] Judging by this line alone, you're going to have be on your knees in front of them.

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  • Everyone has to earn respect. Parents are no different

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] kil1ertomatog I'll elaborate. Parents inherently deserve respect for raising a child. If they utterly fail at raising a child (decide to leave the child, neglect the child, etc.) then they lose their entitlement. However, I'd say that paying for rent and groceries and not beating the child qualifies as an 'acceptable' parent. No parent is perfect, and you shouldn't expect them to be. OP, perhaps you are one of those unfortunate cases where your parents legitimately don't give a -blam!- about you, and while I highly doubt that, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Most floodians that complain about their parents though, are angsty teens who are mad because their parents yelled at them and took away their phone or something.[/quote] Well there isn't getting around how crappy my dad is. My mom is just too into herself which (as i said in the OP) i think comes from having kids too young and not being able to enjoy the 20's. Generally we just stay away from each other since something someone does always starts something and since i am the only male in the house i normally get ganged up on. Thus we stay separated to avoid that and because we don't have anything in common and have completely different life views.

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  • I believe in respecting my parents as a rule, not parents in general. Parents in general are people, individuals that will be respected depending on how they are as individuals. My parents (specifically my mother, and then my stepfather) devoted themselves to their children, and made many harsh choices in their lives for the sake of their children. Regardless of the fact that I can only understand the "why" of it as an adult, that doesn't mean they didn't (and don't) deserve my respect.

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