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8/19/2012 11:38:18 PM
303
Why do parents inherently deserve respect?(edited with responses)
After seeing a thread today i have pondered this as i have been for over a decade.
I don't understand why parents are entitled to get instant respect just for the sheer fact they are parents. You are raised saying "respect is given and earned" yet when it comes to parents most people assume it should automatically be given.
I am only sharing this for the sake of the thread and i am not intending to blog with this; I don't have the best parents and that is a gross understatement. They only care for themselves,what is best for themselves and hardly put my sister and i first as the "ideal parents" should/do. My father hasn't done a single thing for me his entire life and makes no effort while my mother just lives her life.
I suspect this is because of having children at a young age and they never got to actually "live" so they were trying to raise children while enjoying themselves.
Now I am not some spoiled kid that whines about everything. I don't ask for anything so my sister can get "what she needs" and of course she is spoiled. I bought my own car, pay for my own gas and insurance, Make dinner at home if not i eat out, i bought everything in my room and majority of my cloths. I could go on but I pretty much do everything for myself and have the money to move out when i get done with school in a few months.
Again, i could list all the things i do around the house blah blah. I do my part and so forth and because of such i have no reason to inherently respect my parents seeing as "i am my own parent" and have been self sufficient for nearly the last decade.
I feel like the parents worth respecting are the ones that go above and beyond for their kids and don't try throwing anything in their faces because "i am your parent". I didn't ask to be born and nor did anyone else. Does that mean they should be respectful and ungrateful even when their parents are? no, but at the same time i don't see the need or reason for having some undying respect for your parents just because they are.
I'll be expecting long rants (mostly from parents). The point i wanted to get across is that the respect should be earned both ways not inherently.
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Scottus4
They don't inherently deserve respect. One doesn't respect doing the bare minimum for anything else, why would someone respect a parent that beats them or neglects them, even if they allowed them to live in their house with them and fed them (which are required by law, not feeding your kid is child abuse).
They only deserve respect if they really put in the effort to shape a young person into a mentally and socially stable and productive member of society. [/quote]
Kids, this is what he is talking and it matches what OP (Grey101) said.
In fact, parents do not inherently deserve respect because they have bare minimum for anything else.
They have to earn the respect by focusing its effort to their off spring to be mentally, socially stable and becoming productive member of society. If they didn't do that, then they do not deserve respect. [/quote]
[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] QuestVibes
No, not inherently. They earn it by providing for you and being good parents.[/quote]
That is what i needed to see, thank you.
[Edited on 08.20.2012 2:55 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [/quote] The fact is, Without the "bare essentials" you wouldnt even be alive. You would have died before you turned 1. For that, they absolutely deserve respect. [/quote] Then parents like that need to have their children taken away from them and given to those that actually want to raise a kid and to nurture it. Not give it the bare minimum and then indirectly state that you should be thankful you even know what a pencil looks like. This is 2012; I am not saying you [b]need[/b] to be given laptops and iphones. But this worship of parents due to them giving you a bagel is too much. It suits my parents perfectly since they love power and being in control.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".[/quote]No, it doesn't. Ask me how I know. Please! Ask me how I know! I'm giddy with excitement![/quote] It was a subjective question since i am positive that college isn't as easy and stressful for everybody on the planet. I know this because i am in college also thus your college experience isn't standard.[/quote]Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 It was a subjective question since i am positive that college isn't as easy and stressful for everybody on the planet. I know this because i am in college also thus your college experience isn't standard.[/quote] Protip: He has graduated college and has a child. He has experience in the example you gave. You're still in your mother's basement.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [/quote]When you have a child, I'm sure you'll be pissed off when hes not giving you the respect you deserve. You won't think to yourself "Well I only gave him the bare minimum that is required by his ideals, guess I dont get my own childs respect.". No, you'll be thinking "What an ungrateful bastard."
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 How about you state what raising a child consists of and i will tell you if my parent(s) did that or not. I didn't feel like making this a blog post so i didn't go into detail.[/quote]No. You created the thread; you're he one looking for validation. Why should anyone else do the heavy lifting?[/quote] Ok Primo i am not going to argue with you here nobody else seem to have an issue with understanding the OP as you are the first one to ask me to go into detail with this. I already have more than enough answers so you giving me your point of view or not doesn't affect me. So either you will list things that you feel falls under the role of a parent raising a child or leave the thread because i am not about to blog on nor am i going to waste sit here and actually think about the things my parents should have done for me that they didn't.[/quote]You realize that policing your own thread and asking those who may not see eye to eye with you to "leave" is sometimes considered against the rules, right? I like to think it's on par with those who request a lock when a thread isn't received in the way they'd like, only a step further. Just something you should consider. Okay, can you answer a few questions then? 1) Were you ever physically or mentally abused. (You don't have to answer that if you're uncomfortable.) 2) When your parents "enjoyed themselves," did they see that you were tended to by a trusted elder/adult/etc. 3) Are they emotionally supportive? (Do they offer advice and personal guidance, etc.) 4) Do they seem to care about your safety and well being? I'll think of more, but if you can answer those, that'd be great.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".[/quote]No, it doesn't. Ask me how I know. Please! Ask me how I know! I'm giddy with excitement![/quote] It was a subjective question since i am positive that college isn't as easy and stressful for everybody on the planet. I know this because i am in college also thus your college experience isn't standard.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [/quote] I've concluded rag has Downs Syndrome or some mental development issue. You can't reason with a retard - they don't have the cognitive function to understand. He can't help it. [Edited on 08.20.2012 11:43 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".[/quote]No, it doesn't. Ask me how I know. Please! Ask me how I know! I'm giddy with excitement![/quote] *raises hand* Ooooooh pick me! I know!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV Dude congrats. Youre in college? Thats a huge accomplishment. Without your parents, wouldnt have happened. [/quote] And? They have polished myself to mentally/socially stable and productive member to the society. So, they, in fact, do not inherently deserve the respect for doing [b]bare minimum requirements[/b] Bolded it so you can read clearly. [/quote] That's not the bare minimum. The bare minimum is they push you off onto the grandparents or a family friend and simply give that person money and they raise you. if you lived with them, that is MORE than the bare minimum. Bare minimum is just providing financially and they don't need to be around the kid to do that.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [/quote] The fact is, Without the "bare essentials" you wouldnt even be alive. You would have died before you turned 1. For that, they absolutely deserve respect.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV Dude congrats. Youre in college? Thats a huge accomplishment. Without your parents, wouldnt have happened. [/quote] And? They have polished myself to mentally/socially stable and productive member to the society. So, they, in fact, do not inherently deserve the respect for doing [b]bare minimum requirements[/b] Bolded it so you can read clearly. [quote]Proves that I'm an idiot? Thats cute when people bring up intelligence on a forum. [/quote] Except the fact is that you are a idiot because you were childishly insulting me via "man up" or "spoiled brat" is clear definition of a idiot. [quote]Yep, you may not be a child anymore. But you are still a spoiled brat. [/quote] Stating they do not inherently deserve respect for bare minimum requirements =/= spoiled brat. Dude, do you even know what "spoiled brat" means? I don't think you even know what it means at all.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 How about you state what raising a child consists of and i will tell you if my parent(s) did that or not. I didn't feel like making this a blog post so i didn't go into detail.[/quote]No. You created the thread; you're he one looking for validation. Why should anyone else do the heavy lifting?[/quote] Ok Primo i am not going to argue with you here nobody else seem to have an issue with understanding the OP as you are the first one to ask me to go into detail with this. I already have more than enough answers so you giving me your point of view or not doesn't affect me. So either you will list things that you feel falls under the role of a parent raising a child or leave the thread because i am not about to blog on nor am i going to waste sit here and actually think about the things my parents should have done for me that they didn't.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".[/quote]No, it doesn't. Ask me how I know. Please! Ask me how I know! I'm giddy with excitement!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".[/quote] They are responsible for you 24/7. It compares a little. But not enough. Its a stupid college class. Its not hard.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 How about you state what raising a child consists of and i will tell you if my parent(s) did that or not. I didn't feel like making this a blog post so i didn't go into detail.[/quote]No. You created the thread; you're he one looking for validation. Why should anyone else do the heavy lifting?
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Depends if they're good parents or not, and by that I mean if they aren't violent or something like that.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 I don't feel the respect I give my parents is inherent, they earned it by being great parents to me.[/quote] Lol what does this even mean? They earn it? No, YOU need to earn THEIR respect. They are the parents. This is what kids dont understand these days. They arent in charge. You wanna be in charge? Move out, and fend for yourself.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 they never raised me/quote]Can you elaborate?[/quote] Did you read the OP? I feel like i answered that sufficiently.[/quote]Not really. You explained that you pay for your own expenses like your car and eating out. Unless you've been driving from the womb, I don't see how that relates to your upbringing. So can you please elaborate on your upbringing?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Addison Stone I read the first two lines or so. The fact that they've fed you, clothed you, taken care of you, and otherwise kept you alive long enough for those thoughts to start popping up in your head shows they've earned some respect.[/quote]This. The fact that you're [i]here[/i], on the internet, conveying this message indicates that they could have done much worse. [/quote] Don't talk if you don't have anything nice to say. Don't post in a thread if you haven't read the original post.[/quote]How is what I said not nice? I think it's about as neutral as it can get. And I did read the original post; it was lacking, so if you would, I'd like for you to elaborate. [/quote] How about you state what raising a child consists of and i will tell you if my parent(s) did that or not. I didn't feel like making this a blog post so i didn't go into detail.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 Dude congrats. Youre in college? Thats a huge accomplishment. Without your parents, wouldnt have happened. Proves that I'm an idiot? Thats cute when people bring up intelligence on a forum. Yep, you may not be a child anymore. But you are still a spoiled brat.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Addison Stone I read the first two lines or so. The fact that they've fed you, clothed you, taken care of you, and otherwise kept you alive long enough for those thoughts to start popping up in your head shows they've earned some respect.[/quote]This. The fact that you're [i]here[/i], on the internet, conveying this message indicates that they could have done much worse. [/quote] Don't talk if you don't have anything nice to say. Don't post in a thread if you haven't read the original post.[/quote]How is what I said not nice? I think it's about as neutral as it can get. And I did read the original post; it was lacking, so if you would, I'd like for you to elaborate. [/quote] Don't bother, Grey is an idiot when it comes to reading comprehension and logic.
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I don't feel the respect I give my parents is inherent, they earned it by being great parents to me.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Addison Stone I read the first two lines or so. The fact that they've fed you, clothed you, taken care of you, and otherwise kept you alive long enough for those thoughts to start popping up in your head shows they've earned some respect.[/quote]This. The fact that you're [i]here[/i], on the internet, conveying this message indicates that they could have done much worse. [/quote] Don't talk if you don't have anything nice to say. Don't post in a thread if you haven't read the original post.[/quote]How is what I said not nice? I think it's about as neutral as it can get. And I did read the original post; it was lacking, so if you would, I'd like for you to elaborate.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson You need to learn that your parents could have thrown your ass in a dumpster and noone could have been the wiser.[/quote] Except they can't do that because it is against the law. So, your point is a moot now. And you clearly did not understand what I said so, maybe you should back out and take a family psychology course to understand this trivial statement that I stated. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV You expect them to do all that, While also working a full time job to support you? [/quote] That's point of raising the kids. Which part do you not understand? [quote]Someone is self centered. Man the -blam!- up[/quote] It proves that you are an idiot. They earned my respect AFTER making myself into mentally/socially stable and productive member to the modern society. Look at where I am at now: I'm in college, third year and about take two internships in IT major and they are proud of me now. So, maybe you should take your retarded generalization elsewhere.
