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8/19/2012 11:38:18 PM
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Why do parents inherently deserve respect?(edited with responses)

After seeing a thread today i have pondered this as i have been for over a decade. I don't understand why parents are entitled to get instant respect just for the sheer fact they are parents. You are raised saying "respect is given and earned" yet when it comes to parents most people assume it should automatically be given. I am only sharing this for the sake of the thread and i am not intending to blog with this; I don't have the best parents and that is a gross understatement. They only care for themselves,what is best for themselves and hardly put my sister and i first as the "ideal parents" should/do. My father hasn't done a single thing for me his entire life and makes no effort while my mother just lives her life. I suspect this is because of having children at a young age and they never got to actually "live" so they were trying to raise children while enjoying themselves. Now I am not some spoiled kid that whines about everything. I don't ask for anything so my sister can get "what she needs" and of course she is spoiled. I bought my own car, pay for my own gas and insurance, Make dinner at home if not i eat out, i bought everything in my room and majority of my cloths. I could go on but I pretty much do everything for myself and have the money to move out when i get done with school in a few months. Again, i could list all the things i do around the house blah blah. I do my part and so forth and because of such i have no reason to inherently respect my parents seeing as "i am my own parent" and have been self sufficient for nearly the last decade. I feel like the parents worth respecting are the ones that go above and beyond for their kids and don't try throwing anything in their faces because "i am your parent". I didn't ask to be born and nor did anyone else. Does that mean they should be respectful and ungrateful even when their parents are? no, but at the same time i don't see the need or reason for having some undying respect for your parents just because they are. I'll be expecting long rants (mostly from parents). The point i wanted to get across is that the respect should be earned both ways not inherently. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Scottus4 They don't inherently deserve respect. One doesn't respect doing the bare minimum for anything else, why would someone respect a parent that beats them or neglects them, even if they allowed them to live in their house with them and fed them (which are required by law, not feeding your kid is child abuse). They only deserve respect if they really put in the effort to shape a young person into a mentally and socially stable and productive member of society. [/quote] Kids, this is what he is talking and it matches what OP (Grey101) said. In fact, parents do not inherently deserve respect because they have bare minimum for anything else. They have to earn the respect by focusing its effort to their off spring to be mentally, socially stable and becoming productive member of society. If they didn't do that, then they do not deserve respect. [/quote] [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] QuestVibes No, not inherently. They earn it by providing for you and being good parents.[/quote] That is what i needed to see, thank you. [Edited on 08.20.2012 2:55 AM PDT]
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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] chubbz Parenting, by far, is the harder responsibility, because you're raising a human being, you only get one shot. [/quote]Bingo. And contrary to what some believe, parenting doesn't end when the kid turns eighteen.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MadMax888 It's funny how many things can be easily solved with an open, honest discussion. Have you calmly sat down with your parents and discussed this in an adult manner?[/quote] I got into an argument with my dad over the phone because My mom was punishing me for something i had absolutely no control over and I told him directly he was a crappy parent while venting how they were crappy in general. My mom heard the conversation and the BS stopped after that but it was far too late. Which makes me wonder if it would have been better to actually lash out when i was younger because they never listen to me unless i am pissed since i rarely raise my voice.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote]"Wah my parents dont love me." *One clearly does* "Wah you dont understand me, report! Wahh"

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 They love me as their spawn but they didn't [b]love[/b] me.[/quote]Your mother loves you. If she didn't she wouldnt care if you left. Stop being a brat.[/quote] You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 I don't feel the respect I give my parents is inherent, they earned it by being great parents to me.[/quote] Lol what does this even mean? [/quote]It means that if my parents were crappy parents that mistreated me and raised me wrongly I would have no grounds to respect them. Thankfully that is not the case.[/quote] What constitutes raising you "wrong". Thats just a subjective sentence. [/quote]Mistreatment.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [/quote]When you have a child, I'm sure you'll be pissed off when hes not giving you the respect you deserve. You won't think to yourself "Well I only gave him the bare minimum that is required by his ideals, guess I dont get my own childs respect.". No, you'll be thinking "What an ungrateful bastard."[/quote] No, if I have a child, I'll hopefully be a good enough parent to EARN his respect. [Edited on 08.20.2012 12:05 PM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] Is it cause you yourself are a parent?[/quote][i]And[/i] a college student on track to graduate in December. I'm doing both at the same time. [/quote] If true, then much respect to you. [/quote]Don't do that. You don't know me. For all you know, I could be a terrible father, a terrible student, or both. I like to think I'm doing alright at both, but I'm somewhat of a biased source, you know?[/quote] Well, you seem to know what the deal is, so I'm sure you'll do fine. At least, you don't think that you are doing 100% amazing. ANd being a terrible student ain't that big a deal compared to a kid.

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  • It's funny how many things can be easily solved with an open, honest discussion. Have you calmly sat down with your parents and discussed this in an adult manner?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Municipal Bonds [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 I probably made the mistake of not explaining that i am using respect in the sense of admiration or aspiration.[/quote] They aren't really synonyms. If you asked the Flood how many admire their parents or aspire to be like them, you would have gotten much different responses.[/quote] I'm with this.^ I don't know you, so I'm not gonna pretend to act like I know your situation that has brought about your perception of your parents. But what I will say is this. Parents at the very least just being there deserves some respect [with a few exceptions of course]. You don't have to agree with me, I'm willing to change my position on the matter. I've taken your perspective and just the very fact that you're in the position you're in now, with some form of parental involvement in your life makes me think otherwise. You turned out independent, you had hardships in your life, your parents are somewhat a result of this but choose to believe it or not. They had some role in shaping you this way and as harsh as it sounds. You came out on top and you should be somewhat grateful for that. That at the very least deserves some respect. If you were willing to see things from my perspective or even some others in this thread rather than just refute it all day. Maybe some form of understanding can be gained from this. [Edited on 08.20.2012 12:22 PM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] Is it cause you yourself are a parent?[/quote][i]And[/i] a college student on track to graduate in December. I'm doing both at the same time. [/quote] It's brutal, I've been there myself. Parenting, by far, is the harder responsibility, because you're raising a human being, you only get one shot.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 They love me as their spawn but they didn't [b]love[/b] me.[/quote]Your mother loves you. If she didn't she wouldnt care if you left. Stop being a brat.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV Lol can you please explain what a parent NEEDS to give, to earn your respect? [/quote] It was in the OP i am sure. Teach the child,Learn from the child, Love the Child. Not "you wouldn't be here if i used a condom and weren't religious, which means i had to raise you even if i didn't want you. Best be happy with what you get because i don't think you are worth doing more than the bare minimum for. When you move out don't come back and i don't care what you do."[/quote] And your parents didnt do that? They didnt teach you anything? Didnt learn anything about you? Didnt love you? That seems like BS. [/quote] I don't care what it seems like because it is the truth. I would actually have to sit here and think about what they taught me, nothing instantly comes to mind- again that is in the OP. The Haven't learned anything [b]from[/b] me because according to them they already know everything because they are X years old and have seen it all. No they did not love me hence this entire thread. They love me as their spawn but they didn't [b]love[/b] me.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] Is it cause you yourself are a parent?[/quote][i]And[/i] a college student on track to graduate in December. I'm doing both at the same time. [/quote] If true, then much respect to you. [/quote]Don't do that. You don't know me. For all you know, I could be a terrible father, a terrible student, or both. I like to think I'm doing alright at both, but I'm somewhat of a biased source, you know?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV Lol can you please explain what a parent NEEDS to give, to earn your respect? [/quote] It was in the OP i am sure. Teach the child,Learn from the child, Love the Child. Not "you wouldn't be here if i used a condom and weren't religious, which means i had to raise you even if i didn't want you. Best be happy with what you get because i don't think you are worth doing more than the bare minimum for. When you move out don't come back and i don't care what you do."[/quote] And your parents didnt do that? They didnt teach you anything? Didnt learn anything about you? Didnt love you? That seems like BS.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV Lol can you please explain what a parent NEEDS to give, to earn your respect? [/quote] It was in the OP i am sure. Teach the child,Learn from the child, Love the Child. Not "you wouldn't be here if i used a condom and weren't religious, which means i had to raise you even if i didn't want you. Best be happy with what you get because i don't think you are worth doing more than the bare minimum for. When you move out don't come back and i don't care what you do."

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 I don't feel the respect I give my parents is inherent, they earned it by being great parents to me.[/quote] Lol what does this even mean? [/quote]It means that if my parents were crappy parents that mistreated me and raised me wrongly I would have no grounds to respect them. Thankfully that is not the case.[/quote] What constitutes raising you "wrong". Thats just a subjective sentence.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Lobster Fish 2 I don't feel the respect I give my parents is inherent, they earned it by being great parents to me.[/quote] Lol what does this even mean? [/quote]It means that if my parents were crappy parents that mistreated me and raised me wrongly I would have no grounds to respect them. Thankfully that is not the case.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 I'd raise them first THEN gradually polish them to mentally/socially stable and being productive member to the society which they will respect me for that.[/quote]Are you implying that the two are separate parental responsibilities?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] Is it cause you yourself are a parent?[/quote][i]And[/i] a college student on track to graduate in December. I'm doing both at the same time. [/quote] If true, then much respect to you.

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  • Well I don't think that's the case. Most people are brought up with good parents and are taught to respect them, and it just makes sense to because of how much they do for them. You're parents could easily make your life a living hell for the majority of your young years. However, if that is the case, then you aren't required to respect nor do should you feel the need to respect them. Even with parents the whole respect is earned not given thing still comes into play. My parents respect my life and well being by supplying me to the best of their abilities a happy and nice life. They spend a lot of time and effort on me and my brother and they have earned my respect for it. If for instance my mom and dad were drunks and beat me and never let me do anything, they would not earn my respect, but in my circumstances they have.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [/quote] Are you still having difficulty time to understand what I said? I pity you for having poor reading comprehension, I really do. Now again, if I were to raise my child, I'd raise them first THEN gradually polish them to mentally/socially stable and being productive member to the society which they will respect me for that. Simple as that. Like I said, you really, really need to take a family psychology course.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] Is it cause you yourself are a parent?[/quote][i]And[/i] a college student on track to graduate in December. I'm doing both at the same time.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [/quote] The fact is, Without the "bare essentials" you wouldnt even be alive. You would have died before you turned 1. For that, they absolutely deserve respect. [/quote] Then parents like that need to have their children taken away from them and given to those that actually want to raise a kid and to nurture it. Not give it the bare minimum and then indirectly state that you should be thankful you even know what a pencil looks like. This is 2012; I am not saying you [b]need[/b] to be given laptops and iphones. But this worship of parents due to them giving you a bagel is too much. It suits my parents perfectly since they love power and being in control.[/quote] Lol can you please explain what a parent NEEDS to give, to earn your respect?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Municipal Bonds [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [/quote] I've concluded rag has Downs Syndrome or some mental development issue. You can't reason with a retard - they don't have the cognitive function to understand. He can't help it.[/quote] I have concluded that you and DatDudeBV is idiot. See? That I can make this stupid statement like you just did.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] Is it cause you yourself are a parent?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [/quote] The fact is, Without the "bare essentials" you wouldnt even be alive. You would have died before you turned 1. For that, they absolutely deserve respect. [/quote] Then parents like that need to have their children taken away from them and given to those that actually want to raise a kid and to nurture it. Not give it the bare minimum and then indirectly state that you should be thankful you even know what a pencil looks like. This is 2012; I am not saying you [b]need[/b] to be given laptops and iphones. But this worship of parents due to them giving you a bagel is too much. It suits my parents perfectly since they love power and being in control.

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