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8/19/2012 11:38:18 PM
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Why do parents inherently deserve respect?(edited with responses)

After seeing a thread today i have pondered this as i have been for over a decade. I don't understand why parents are entitled to get instant respect just for the sheer fact they are parents. You are raised saying "respect is given and earned" yet when it comes to parents most people assume it should automatically be given. I am only sharing this for the sake of the thread and i am not intending to blog with this; I don't have the best parents and that is a gross understatement. They only care for themselves,what is best for themselves and hardly put my sister and i first as the "ideal parents" should/do. My father hasn't done a single thing for me his entire life and makes no effort while my mother just lives her life. I suspect this is because of having children at a young age and they never got to actually "live" so they were trying to raise children while enjoying themselves. Now I am not some spoiled kid that whines about everything. I don't ask for anything so my sister can get "what she needs" and of course she is spoiled. I bought my own car, pay for my own gas and insurance, Make dinner at home if not i eat out, i bought everything in my room and majority of my cloths. I could go on but I pretty much do everything for myself and have the money to move out when i get done with school in a few months. Again, i could list all the things i do around the house blah blah. I do my part and so forth and because of such i have no reason to inherently respect my parents seeing as "i am my own parent" and have been self sufficient for nearly the last decade. I feel like the parents worth respecting are the ones that go above and beyond for their kids and don't try throwing anything in their faces because "i am your parent". I didn't ask to be born and nor did anyone else. Does that mean they should be respectful and ungrateful even when their parents are? no, but at the same time i don't see the need or reason for having some undying respect for your parents just because they are. I'll be expecting long rants (mostly from parents). The point i wanted to get across is that the respect should be earned both ways not inherently. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Scottus4 They don't inherently deserve respect. One doesn't respect doing the bare minimum for anything else, why would someone respect a parent that beats them or neglects them, even if they allowed them to live in their house with them and fed them (which are required by law, not feeding your kid is child abuse). They only deserve respect if they really put in the effort to shape a young person into a mentally and socially stable and productive member of society. [/quote] Kids, this is what he is talking and it matches what OP (Grey101) said. In fact, parents do not inherently deserve respect because they have bare minimum for anything else. They have to earn the respect by focusing its effort to their off spring to be mentally, socially stable and becoming productive member of society. If they didn't do that, then they do not deserve respect. [/quote] [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] QuestVibes No, not inherently. They earn it by providing for you and being good parents.[/quote] That is what i needed to see, thank you. [Edited on 08.20.2012 2:55 AM PDT]
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  • I take care of my kids , I give them a fair amount of discipline, teach them to be open to new ideas, buy them whatever they need, and ask them for Respect in return. That is their only currency, since I pay for and shape everything else in their lives.

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  • I don't agree with you so I'm not contributing? Alright OP.

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  • @chubbz he isn't contributing nor are you if you prefer to talk about this instead of the OP.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DatDudeBV quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 That is like saying " you expect me to do good in college while having a job?"[/quote] How can you compare a few college classes to the 24/7 responsibility of having and raising a child? Thats the dumbest thing ive ever heard.[/quote] So the stress and complications of college does relate in anyway to raising a child? Mind you that you can spend more than 18 years attending school. And you aren't around somebody "24/7".[/quote]No, it doesn't. Ask me how I know. Please! Ask me how I know! I'm giddy with excitement![/quote] It was a subjective question since i am positive that college isn't as easy and stressful for everybody on the planet. I know this because i am in college also thus your college experience isn't standard.[/quote]Wrong. It's not subjective; parenting is more difficult than college. Both may come easy to some and difficult to others, but parenting will always be a greater challenge and responsibility. Ask me how I know. [/quote] For the record everything is subjective the only reason i cannot further comment here is because i don't have children myself but regardless nobody experiences college the same and it isn't just college in itself that i am talking about. I had to learn how to write by myself Friends taught me how to ride a bike Learned how to fish by myself/friends Learned to shave by myself Learned to drive by myself How to manage money and pay bills/ observation Anything that was broken in the house or elsewhere i had to figure out how to fix it since i would never be taught or helped. I can't honestly think of a single thing that either parent actually tried teaching me. obviously they taught me how to read but other than that they seriously haven't done anything in that department.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] chubbz [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 They love me as their spawn but they didn't [b]love[/b] me.[/quote]Your mother loves you. If she didn't she wouldnt care if you left. Stop being a brat.[/quote] You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote] You make childish, immature statements like that, and wonder why no one understands you or agrees with you. If you're like that in real life, I have every reason to believe that whatever 'problems' you have with your parents are your own doing. [/quote] Um, the only person that has had an issue understand me here is Primo and this guy- who clearly was issues with other members which dragged to here. He is purposely being difficult for his own amusement and i told him on the last page that if he wasn't going to contribute then i was going to ignore him and then report him. You can easily look at how this transpired. Primo the user asked if talking ever helped and i gave that example of how me flipping out a single time did help but it was too late.[/quote] I don't care how you explain it, you don't report someone for something as silly as 'He doesn't get what I'm saying', especially moreso since you don't set the standard for who contributes to a thread and who doesn't. Stop being immature and carry on this discussion in a normal way, like the rest of us are.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] DarkSunnyboy1 If parents go so far as to asking their own child to leave their house, then by all means, leave those -blam!-s for parents.[/quote] But what did the child do to help escalate it to that point? Obviously that is a bad thing for a parent to say, but those kind of situations don't usually escalate to that point just from one side. More often than not everybody involved had a hand in contributing to that kind of situation. [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] LaDavid [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] LaDavid Why do people think that they can't freely give out their respect? And what's wrong with freely giving out your respect? And what's wrong with just being respectful? [/quote] Someone clearly hasn't read anything in this thread. I am not disrespectful to my parents i just don't have a reason to respect them in the sense of admiration or wanting to be them because they haven't done anything for me to want to be like that. You shouldn't freely respect people anyway.[/quote] Or I just asked some simple questions, and I didn't accuse you or anybody else in this thread of anything. And why shouldn't you freely give out respect? [/quote] And I never got a response to that from you, grey101. Also, has the assumption been in this thread that parents are supposed to love and respect their kids for no reason at all but because they're their kids, but then kids aren't supposed to do the same? And for their kids to respect them, they somehow have to go beyond the extra mile to earn respect from their kids?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Tempus Irae I'd stop respecting my parents if they didn't understand Halo canon as well, grey.[/quote]Agreed. It's kinda strange to see him post something other than Halo. And outside the Bungie Universe. OT: Respect your parents, kids. Or else you'll end up as a negative-Nancy.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 Because i am a very technical person and cannot ascertain exactly what you want me to state yet you refuse to give even basic examples of what you wish for me to do.[/quote]...yes I did; go back a page. Doesn't [i]this[/i] seem familiar?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Scottus4 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] lurx IMO, respect is not something you have to deserve or gain in some way, respect is a right you have as a human being. I will respect you until you do something that makes me lose respect for you. But you will not have to earn my respect.[/quote] So either you're saying you're a beta or you're saying you don't know what respect means? [/quote]Yes, I'm a beta because I respect people.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 Also, you still haven't commented on your upbringing. You mention that they didn't raise you properly, yet you're not elaborating on just how you were raised. That's important. [/quote] Because i am a very technical person and cannot ascertain exactly what you want me to state yet you refuse to give even basic examples of what you wish for me to do. I already gave examples in the OP that should be enough to get the gist of what i am referring to.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] lurx IMO, respect is not something you have to deserve or gain in some way, respect is a right you have as a human being. I will respect you until you do something that makes me lose respect for you. But you will not have to earn my respect.[/quote] So either you're saying you're a beta or you're saying you don't know what respect means?

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  • Also, you still haven't commented on your upbringing. You mention that they didn't raise you properly, yet you're not elaborating on just how you were raised. That's important.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 Primo the user asked if talking ever helped and i gave that example of how me flipping out a single time did help but it was too late.[/quote] Talking it out and flipping out are not the same things.[/quote] *Sigh* I already explained that when i tried talking to them they ignored me because "You are young and don't know what you are talking about" then when i as to be punished for something my younger sibling did instead of said sibling being held accountable for their actions like i would have been. I finally lost my temper which had been built up since childhood and they finally listened and stopped BSing me (mother at least) in which i stated it was already too late for change.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Murcielago00 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 Primo the user asked if talking ever helped and i gave that example of how me flipping out a single time did help but it was too late.[/quote]Talking it out and flipping out are not the same things.[/quote]What they said.

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  • Because they put up with our -blam!- both figuratively and literally

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 Primo the user asked if talking ever helped and i gave that example of how me flipping out a single time did help but it was too late.[/quote] Talking it out and flipping out are not the same things.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] chubbz [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 They love me as their spawn but they didn't [b]love[/b] me.[/quote]Your mother loves you. If she didn't she wouldnt care if you left. Stop being a brat.[/quote] You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote] You make childish, immature statements like that, and wonder why no one understands you or agrees with you. If you're like that in real life, I have every reason to believe that whatever 'problems' you have with your parents are your own doing. [/quote] Um, the only person that has had an issue understand me here is Primo and this guy- who clearly was issues with other members which dragged to here. He is purposely being difficult for his own amusement and i told him on the last page that if he wasn't going to contribute then i was going to ignore him and then report him. You can easily look at how this transpired. Primo the user asked if talking ever helped and i gave that example of how me flipping out a single time did help but it was too late.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] raganok99 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote]"Wah my parents dont love me." *One clearly does* "Wah you dont understand me, report! Wahh"[/quote] No, you are having difficult time of understanding his statement. You're not really very bright, are you?[/quote]Make cracks at my intelligence all you want, that really makes you look mature.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MadMax888 It's funny how many things can be easily solved with an open, honest discussion. Have you calmly sat down with your parents and discussed this in an adult manner?[/quote] I got into an argument with my dad over the phone because My mom was punishing me for something i had absolutely no control over.[/quote]What did you do?[/quote] Not relevant to the thread,not something i am going to post on the internet, nor was it something i did but something another sibling of mine did that isn't much younger than me.[/quote]Then why bring it up? It obviously wasn't the calm discussion the user you replied to was asking about.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 They love me as their spawn but they didn't [b]love[/b] me.[/quote]Your mother loves you. If she didn't she wouldnt care if you left. Stop being a brat.[/quote] You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote] You make childish, immature statements like that, and wonder why no one understands you or agrees with you. If you're like that in real life, I have every reason to believe that whatever 'problems' you have with your parents are your own doing.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Primo84 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MadMax888 It's funny how many things can be easily solved with an open, honest discussion. Have you calmly sat down with your parents and discussed this in an adult manner?[/quote] I got into an argument with my dad over the phone because My mom was punishing me for something i had absolutely no control over.[/quote]What did you do?[/quote] Not relevant to the thread,not something i am going to post on the internet, nor was it something i did but something another sibling of mine did that isn't much younger than me.

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  • IMO, respect is not something you have to deserve or gain in some way, respect is a right you have as a human being. I will respect you until you do something that makes me lose respect for you. But you will not have to earn my respect.

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote]"Wah my parents dont love me." *One clearly does* "Wah you dont understand me, report! Wahh"[/quote] No, you are having difficult time of understanding his statement. You're not really very bright, are you? [Edited on 08.20.2012 12:10 PM PDT]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] MadMax888 It's funny how many things can be easily solved with an open, honest discussion. Have you calmly sat down with your parents and discussed this in an adult manner?[/quote] I got into an argument with my dad over the phone because My mom was punishing me for something i had absolutely no control over.[/quote]What did you do?

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Carly Rae Jepson [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] grey101 You Didn't get what i said whatsoever so i am just going to ignore and report your posts from here on out.[/quote]"Wah my parents dont love me." *One clearly does* "Wah you dont understand me, report! Wahh"[/quote]

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  • [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] chubbz Parenting, by far, is the harder responsibility, because you're raising a human being, you only get one shot. [/quote]Bingo. And contrary to what some believe, parenting doesn't end when the kid turns eighteen.

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