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8/31/2011 1:44:16 AM
313
Can Crimson take down Angry Birds?
We all know that Angry Birds is probably the greatest game to ever grace mobile gaming. It ranks just behind the fart app and that app that costs $10,000 on the list of greatest apps ever created. There is something so primal about launching birds into pigs.
It probably reaches back to our days as cavemen. I mean, back then it was cool to have a bird, but what good is a tiny little blue bird going to do when you have all the cave women flocking to you because you invented fire. They want to have you cave babies, but it's not going to happen with a little avian creature. So what did our ancestors do? They launched those tiny birds at pigs. It was then they that were able to harness the delicious pork products. And that's how bacon was invented.
So for crimson to be effective at all, it needs to be able to break the hold that angry birds has on the market. It needs to beat the game which tells the story of our ancestors inventing bacon so they could make sweet cave love to the cave women all night and populate the world.
So Crimson needs two things. Food and women. Those are the two most basic needs of life. We need food and we need to reproduce. Crimson must include a food greater than bacon. It will be a hard task, but I think we can do it. My personal suggestion would be [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsE8j6OioQ]deep fried butter[/url], but we can decide that later.
Secondly we need women. Lots and lots of women. Bungie, if you're listening, I would place a call to [url=http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/p/pirates_caribbean2_060627/flip-.jpg]Keira Knightley's[/url] agent. She is definitely a 10 and she knows how to play the pirate roll. Johnny Depp in a bikini might also be a little bit of a turn on. But definition some pirates with some skin showing would be clutch.
Angry Birds set the precedent. They built a best selling game by telling the tale of our ancestors getting women with bacon. Now Crimson needs to not just follow the blueprint, but follow the blueprint x10. We need MORE delicious foods and MORE women. That's the key. Hopefully Bungie knows what they're doing.
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Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm!
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No it can't because its not on ipod/iphone on ipad
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm![/quote]Needs more Jessica Decarlo, thanks.
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Classic.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm![/quote] We can't discriminate, there should probably be some naked men in there as well
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Binman59 No it can't because its not on ipod/iphone on ipad[/quote] Yes it is. [url=http://harebrained-schemes.com/crimson/]Its going to be on Android, iphone, and PC.[/url]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm![/quote]Who's that girl everyone on here loves? Can't remember her name; used to be on deviantart and then became a model or something.
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Guys. We need pirate girls. Not just any regular girls. They have to fit the theme. Which is why Keira Knightley works, regardless of her itty bitty titties. [Edited on 09.01.2011 10:58 AM PDT]
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Any girl can be a pirate girl with the right costume.
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You have low standards. You can't just throw a costume on a girl and expect her to be able to take down Angry Birds. You have to have the best of the best. Keira Knightley is insanely hot and has the resume to back it up.
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And what is Keira Knightley, beyond a hot chick in a good pirate costume?
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Congratulations to Harebrained Schemes for getting [url=http://mobile.twitter.com/#!/bungieaerospace/status/109339096589156352]Top 10![/url] If things keep going as they are, Angry Birds is going down!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Garland And what is Keira Knightley, beyond a hot chick in a good pirate costume?[/quote] She has played a pirate. She knows the lingo and the culture.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] NAKED N00B [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Garland And what is Keira Knightley, beyond a hot chick in a good pirate costume?[/quote] She has played a pirate. She knows the lingo and the culture.[/quote]Let's get something straight here: will these women be required to voice their characters as well? I was under the impression that they're purely for looks.
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Good question. I don't even really know what this game is about.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] NAKED N00B Good question. I don't even really know what this game is about.[/quote]It's about robot pirates. That is all I know. Maybe there is a robot-pirate island O_O
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This game is addictive, even more so then angry birds...
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I haven't seen a post by NAKED N00B in like... years. It might be reason enough to stay on these forums regularly. On a serious note, which this obviously isn't intended for, I want this game for the iPod Touch/iPhone. I want to check it out.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Schmittler 5000 I haven't seen a post by NAKED N00B in like... years. It might be reason enough to stay on these forums regularly. On a serious note, which this obviously isn't intended for, I want this game for the iPod Touch/iPhone. I want to check it out.[/quote] good thing it's coming out for them. :)
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Schmittler 5000 I haven't seen a post by NAKED N00B in like... years.[/quote] I've been fondling Harlow.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] hihi100202 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] sargeantomeg4 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] hihi100202 Defiantly agree. [/quote]Accidental typo?[/quote] Damn people [b]fining[/b] my typos. definitely[/quote] Ha irony;)
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Quality thread. Also, if the graphical adjustments to Keira Knightley are made well it could easily pass Angry Birds.
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We need to work as a cohesive unit to bring angry birds to the grave!For Bungie!For Crimson!
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] ZipZapZop123773 Quality thread. Also, if the graphical adjustments to Keira Knightley are made well it could easily pass Angry Birds.[/quote] Quality point. We can absolutely graphically enhance her breastal region, since that is an area in which she admittedly lacks. How else can we graphically enhance the game?
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Maybe.
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Crimson is an iPad only app. Not many people have an iPad. Case closed.
