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8/31/2011 1:44:16 AM
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Can Crimson take down Angry Birds?
We all know that Angry Birds is probably the greatest game to ever grace mobile gaming. It ranks just behind the fart app and that app that costs $10,000 on the list of greatest apps ever created. There is something so primal about launching birds into pigs.
It probably reaches back to our days as cavemen. I mean, back then it was cool to have a bird, but what good is a tiny little blue bird going to do when you have all the cave women flocking to you because you invented fire. They want to have you cave babies, but it's not going to happen with a little avian creature. So what did our ancestors do? They launched those tiny birds at pigs. It was then they that were able to harness the delicious pork products. And that's how bacon was invented.
So for crimson to be effective at all, it needs to be able to break the hold that angry birds has on the market. It needs to beat the game which tells the story of our ancestors inventing bacon so they could make sweet cave love to the cave women all night and populate the world.
So Crimson needs two things. Food and women. Those are the two most basic needs of life. We need food and we need to reproduce. Crimson must include a food greater than bacon. It will be a hard task, but I think we can do it. My personal suggestion would be [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsE8j6OioQ]deep fried butter[/url], but we can decide that later.
Secondly we need women. Lots and lots of women. Bungie, if you're listening, I would place a call to [url=http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/p/pirates_caribbean2_060627/flip-.jpg]Keira Knightley's[/url] agent. She is definitely a 10 and she knows how to play the pirate roll. Johnny Depp in a bikini might also be a little bit of a turn on. But definition some pirates with some skin showing would be clutch.
Angry Birds set the precedent. They built a best selling game by telling the tale of our ancestors getting women with bacon. Now Crimson needs to not just follow the blueprint, but follow the blueprint x10. We need MORE delicious foods and MORE women. That's the key. Hopefully Bungie knows what they're doing.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Garland And what is Keira Knightley, beyond a hot chick in a good pirate costume?[/quote] She has played a pirate. She knows the lingo and the culture.
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Congratulations to Harebrained Schemes for getting [url=http://mobile.twitter.com/#!/bungieaerospace/status/109339096589156352]Top 10![/url] If things keep going as they are, Angry Birds is going down!
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And what is Keira Knightley, beyond a hot chick in a good pirate costume?
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You have low standards. You can't just throw a costume on a girl and expect her to be able to take down Angry Birds. You have to have the best of the best. Keira Knightley is insanely hot and has the resume to back it up.
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Any girl can be a pirate girl with the right costume.
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Guys. We need pirate girls. Not just any regular girls. They have to fit the theme. Which is why Keira Knightley works, regardless of her itty bitty titties. [Edited on 09.01.2011 10:58 AM PDT]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm![/quote]Who's that girl everyone on here loves? Can't remember her name; used to be on deviantart and then became a model or something.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Binman59 No it can't because its not on ipod/iphone on ipad[/quote] Yes it is. [url=http://harebrained-schemes.com/crimson/]Its going to be on Android, iphone, and PC.[/url]
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm![/quote] We can't discriminate, there should probably be some naked men in there as well
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Classic.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm![/quote]Needs more Jessica Decarlo, thanks.
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No it can't because its not on ipod/iphone on ipad
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Please guys, stay on topic. We really need to be thinking about which naked women we want in this game. Brainstorm!
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Hopefully angry birds is overated.
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I believe it wil take down angry birds, if it expands to the other I things
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Godzneighbor Angry Birds being discussed in the Crimson forum!?! Amazing! I think it won't be as popular as Angry Birds cause it is only playable on the Ipad. Maybe under the App store for the Ipad it'll get up there, if not #1.[/quote]Wrong, it is also on PC.
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Angry Birds being discussed in the Crimson forum!?! Amazing! I think it won't be as popular as Angry Birds cause it is only playable on the Ipad. Maybe under the App store for the Ipad it'll get up there, if not #1.
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I hope it takes down angry birds its such a bad game
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I predict it's going to be a pretty successful game, and besides, from my POV, Angry Birds is getting less popular. That one game Contre Jour looks amazing, I think the right question would be, will this game take down Contre Jour? But we'll see.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Irongam3r No, it can't. Anyone can pick up Angry Birds, even dumb people. Dumb people cannot strategy game.[/quote] LOL Let me guess, you play strategy games?
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No, it can't. Anyone can pick up Angry Birds, even dumb people. Dumb people cannot strategy game.
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It might, it might not. Who knows? It has a good start because it was the word "Bungie" in it.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Garland [quote]coming soon for iPhone, Steam, and Android tablets.[/quote]Angry Birds is going down.[/quote]Hell yeah!
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[quote]coming soon for iPhone, Steam, and Android tablets.[/quote]Angry Birds is going down.
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[url=http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=65276920]Considering it's coming out for the PC I think it will HOPEFULLY be more popular than Angry Birds.[/url] /shamelessthreadplug [Edited on 08.31.2011 4:39 PM PDT]
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Angry Birds was fun. However it is time for a new era... an era of steam pirates!
