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8/31/2011 1:44:16 AM
313
Can Crimson take down Angry Birds?
We all know that Angry Birds is probably the greatest game to ever grace mobile gaming. It ranks just behind the fart app and that app that costs $10,000 on the list of greatest apps ever created. There is something so primal about launching birds into pigs.
It probably reaches back to our days as cavemen. I mean, back then it was cool to have a bird, but what good is a tiny little blue bird going to do when you have all the cave women flocking to you because you invented fire. They want to have you cave babies, but it's not going to happen with a little avian creature. So what did our ancestors do? They launched those tiny birds at pigs. It was then they that were able to harness the delicious pork products. And that's how bacon was invented.
So for crimson to be effective at all, it needs to be able to break the hold that angry birds has on the market. It needs to beat the game which tells the story of our ancestors inventing bacon so they could make sweet cave love to the cave women all night and populate the world.
So Crimson needs two things. Food and women. Those are the two most basic needs of life. We need food and we need to reproduce. Crimson must include a food greater than bacon. It will be a hard task, but I think we can do it. My personal suggestion would be [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsE8j6OioQ]deep fried butter[/url], but we can decide that later.
Secondly we need women. Lots and lots of women. Bungie, if you're listening, I would place a call to [url=http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/p/pirates_caribbean2_060627/flip-.jpg]Keira Knightley's[/url] agent. She is definitely a 10 and she knows how to play the pirate roll. Johnny Depp in a bikini might also be a little bit of a turn on. But definition some pirates with some skin showing would be clutch.
Angry Birds set the precedent. They built a best selling game by telling the tale of our ancestors getting women with bacon. Now Crimson needs to not just follow the blueprint, but follow the blueprint x10. We need MORE delicious foods and MORE women. That's the key. Hopefully Bungie knows what they're doing.
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Angry Birds is a cult hit. As in, people like it because other people like it. It's hard to beat that.
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Angry Birds is right now the top-downloaded game for any kind of MobileDevice that it is available on. So NO, Crimson will NOT take down Angry Birds. [Edited on 09.10.2011 10:39 AM PDT]
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I would not say Angry Birds is the greatest game. I would say that it is the most popular though. As several others have stated though, it is a bit overrated. Crimson is new, and creative. I am sure it will be just as popular, if not better. :)
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That... *sniff* was one of the greatest posts I have ever read.
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depends,how fun is the game?
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Garland [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote]It's a video game; they can make graphical adjustments.[/quote] Perhaps. Really it needs at least two full nude sex scenes to take on angry birds. I mean, angry birds is a big, big game, and to take it on we have to give them something no ipod app has like N00B said. Keria Knightley covered in whipped cream and cherries. Really it's the only responsible thing Bungie could do with this game. [/quote] Sex appeal isn't going to beat angry birds. If they want to watch nudes like perverts they can watch TV, or go on the internet. Angry Birds didn't get to the top because it had women and/or food, (because it didn't) it got to the top because it was 1. simple, 2. fun 3. it looked attractive (meaning that it looked like something they would want to play) 4. it was cheap 5. had lots of levels 6. had a creative, comic theme, and 7. advertisement. Angry Birds was very simple, the controls, and objective were very easy to learn. If a game is too complicated, or the graphic are 3D, people won't be as interested because it will look like one of those games that has a bunch of confusing buttons, that mean nothing, and the 3D graphics will look bad because it's an iPhone/Pad app, and they don't have good graphics, and it ends up looking crappy, compared to modern video games. Angry birds was also fun, if you over do a game, it will be too serious or frustrating, and your goal will be more centered around beating it, than playing to have fun. That way you get more replay value. Angry birds also had a simple o looking button, that wasn't too unattractive looking. It was only 99 cents. Had lots, and lots of levels, that would take a while to beat, since the levels are hard, and have virtually no strategy. Angry birds was advertised a lot, on the homepage, and with merchandise, which was a big reason it sold so much. It was also creative, people liked it because the idea of shooting pigs with birds in a slingshot was a funny, and entertaining one that drew in the crowd. I personally don't like angry birds, and I think it's stupid, but if Bungie can have a game with all 7 of these things, it might make it on the top 25 most downloaded paid apps for a day.
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No, the game sucks.
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angry birds is overrated and not that fun.I hope crimson takes it down.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] it1345 Keira Knightley lacks the boobs to be a 10[/quote] Give her your boobs
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] blade246 Not in a million years.[/quote]
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I think that it'll probably do better for iPad sales, but I doubt that it'll actually overtake overall sales, mainly because of the massive headstart. Also, Angry Birds is accessible by all, whereas when my little brother tried to play Crimson, he crashed the ship into a wall and couldn't get it back out again for fifteen minutes.
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A line of plushies needs to be produced with the addition of knightly. Everyone would pay to have one for personal use.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Player123456789 lol, i don't even know what angry birds is and i know what crimson is so in my book, its already bested it.[/quote] You have NEVER hear of Angry Birds before?
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lol, i don't even know what angry birds is and i know what crimson is so in my book, its already bested it.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AGDTinMan I never quite got the appeal of Angry Birds, myself. Too much luck and chance.[/quote]Its a mediocre game concept that has been the basis of flash games for years that just happen to get popular. Now its just a "cool thing" to have it on your phone/ipod.
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You had me at [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] NAKED N00B Emma Watson[/quote]*bites fist* Anyway, I don't know if Crimson can match the popularity and marketing presence (plushies, shirts, etc.) of Angry Birds, but Crimson might be able to establish itself as the standard of games on the iPad at least. It's a solid game.
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Throw money at bungie = win
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] The Bloody Nine Penelope Cruz?[/quote] Eh. There weren't too many Spanish pirates. Mostly the English. The more I think about it the more I start to believe Emma Watson could fill the role. Not only is she insanely attractive and English (so it's historically accurate), but playing a wizard isn't too far from playing pirate. Instead of parrots, they have owls. Instead of rum, they have butterbeer. Instead of ships, they have brooms. Instead of shouting Arrrr matie, they shout expecto patronum. Instead of swords, they have wands. So I think to make this game truly capable of taking down Angry birds, we need a girl on girl scene with Emma Watson and Keira Knightley.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] jedimasterltmr [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AGDTinMan I never quite got the appeal of Angry Birds, myself. Too much luck and chance.[/quote] Really?[/quote] ^Me neither.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] AGDTinMan I never quite got the appeal of Angry Birds, myself. Too much luck and chance.[/quote] Really?
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Definately not.
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Such as game like Angry Bird that is on multiple Mobile Devices and so much popularity, will probably not be taken down by such a game like Crimson.
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Penelope Cruz?
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Doubt it ... different game. Angry birds was a short fun game, could have a quick game anytime - just to fill time ... perfect mobile game. Steam pirites take a little more investment from the games, not quite a PC/Console game ... may get lost in the cracks. Plus it needs to get a gimic.
