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8/31/2011 1:44:16 AM
313
Can Crimson take down Angry Birds?
We all know that Angry Birds is probably the greatest game to ever grace mobile gaming. It ranks just behind the fart app and that app that costs $10,000 on the list of greatest apps ever created. There is something so primal about launching birds into pigs.
It probably reaches back to our days as cavemen. I mean, back then it was cool to have a bird, but what good is a tiny little blue bird going to do when you have all the cave women flocking to you because you invented fire. They want to have you cave babies, but it's not going to happen with a little avian creature. So what did our ancestors do? They launched those tiny birds at pigs. It was then they that were able to harness the delicious pork products. And that's how bacon was invented.
So for crimson to be effective at all, it needs to be able to break the hold that angry birds has on the market. It needs to beat the game which tells the story of our ancestors inventing bacon so they could make sweet cave love to the cave women all night and populate the world.
So Crimson needs two things. Food and women. Those are the two most basic needs of life. We need food and we need to reproduce. Crimson must include a food greater than bacon. It will be a hard task, but I think we can do it. My personal suggestion would be [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YsE8j6OioQ]deep fried butter[/url], but we can decide that later.
Secondly we need women. Lots and lots of women. Bungie, if you're listening, I would place a call to [url=http://www.mtv.com/movies/photos/p/pirates_caribbean2_060627/flip-.jpg]Keira Knightley's[/url] agent. She is definitely a 10 and she knows how to play the pirate roll. Johnny Depp in a bikini might also be a little bit of a turn on. But definition some pirates with some skin showing would be clutch.
Angry Birds set the precedent. They built a best selling game by telling the tale of our ancestors getting women with bacon. Now Crimson needs to not just follow the blueprint, but follow the blueprint x10. We need MORE delicious foods and MORE women. That's the key. Hopefully Bungie knows what they're doing.
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[quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Wrote [quote][b]Posted by:[/b] Guywiired [/quote] "[i]Niche markets make money too[/i]" ... but not at $0.99 a unit (less Apples cut, and then Bungies cut - lol)[/quote] Maybe, maybe not, but I think that supports the argument that they are in it to bring you great games (or world domination) but NOT in it for the money. My iPad version, chapter 1 was free, and if it wasn't so damn fun, I would just stopped there. As it is, I was happy to pay the $2 for that much more fun. [quote]"[i]I love shooter games, I don't love sports games, but does that mean that sports games should NOT be made?[/i]" ... mixing your arguements. Your individual loves/hates is not a supportive positon for Angry Birds appealing to the masses.[/quote] Actually, you're very wrong here. Mine, and the the rest of the community's opinion is exactly what we're discussing here, and my example shows how while my tastes differs from others, that doesn't mean that games for me (or others) should not be made. [quote]"[i]And if you're going to accept video games as an art[/i]" ... nope another halo arguement of last resort - have to stop you there. Going the line that a game is great because of its graphics or artistic quality is the equivalent of defeat. It becomes a mute point because of individual opinions. Next thing we will be awarding Olympic medals based on the visual or artistic running styles of athletes and not who actually wins the race.[/quote] ehh... now you're starting to sound like that other guy... You can judge art by graphics, or quality, sure. But when I say: [i]Video games are Art[/i] I am recognizing that there is a level of passion that goes into making them. That sometimes, no matter the cost, someone will work nights and weekends for free just to see a feature make it in, or a game they want to play get completed. For them, it's not about the money, it's about the passion. I have no idea where you're going with your Olympic medal argument though.. Seriously, do you even know what you mean here or how it applies? [quote]"[i]It's going to be a sad sad day when developers decided they're ONLY in it for the money.[/i]" ... and yet bungie are now charging a fee for the game. At launch it was for free, but now ... dont go getting too sad on us now ;)[/quote] Additional Chapters are being charged for, yeah... I think it's pretty cool though that I got TONS of play out of Chapter one before I decided to pull the trigger on buying Chapter 2. Shouldn't that be how it is? [quote]The game was also slated for free release within the moai site, as part of an open source understanding. I suspect that this is the "developers concept" to which you refer. But alas ... and not saying who ... this was stopped. Best break out those anti-sad pills.[/quote] I must have missed something deeper than just this point here. It's a great game and it's cheap/free. Honestly it just seems like this is Reach hate boiling over to Crimson now, and I know that's not fair to anyone involved here.
