I'm a fairly new player. Not long back, before Renegades, they 'gifted' us a chest with all 300+ gear. I was delighted. Cool! I'm a pinch closer to where my friends are. Yesterday, another friend gifts me the expansion. I get in, figure before I start it, lemme get Xur's weekly done, there is something I want so, hi-ho engram away!... Everything is life restricted. I'm too high level, need this penalty. But- everything turns me to paste so fast. Managed to get to the boss, jokes on me, the champions in the boss room don't give me back revives, and the boss is a devastating bullet sponge. I'm just... stuck. I wish I didn't take that shitty gear. I wish my light level was 200 again. I have really bad anxiety, joining a match with friends, seeing 1 shared life, or 4, or whatever. The tension builds. So many of these activities feature dumb ways to die that you can't see coming, or joy, you're a warlock, get f'd in this jumping section. Now you cost everyone a life. And it starts. It's better if you don't revive. They're all mad at you because you've become the burden. You're not doing well enough, you weren't worth bringing along. None of those are things my friends say, but have you ever lived with clinical, needs medication anxiety disorder? Your brain is made of cruelty, all pointed at you. None of this is fun anymore. And I feel like -blam!-, because my friend gifted this to me because I couldn't afford it. I feel obligated to play, but playing is now suffering. Why? Why is this mandatory? What was wrong with it being an optional thing that I personally never touched? Why is this on everything? Why, when I look online, is it all just a cesspit of people screeching 'git good' and 'have you tried making a build'? What build saves me from the hidden pitfall trap I never knew was there? Or snagging on a corner of weird geometry and falling to my death? Or my shitty, janky keyboard treated that as a double-tap of space bar so instead of the glide jump, I cancelled? I'll try some other stuff, but, the devs just used my own disorder to gate me out of a ton of things I used to do. There's no point in doing this content when by the end of it my lips are numb and my blood pressure is somewhere unsafe. I thought D2 wanted more players, players who would stay. Instead, I'm being shown the door. You know, since I can't 'git good'.