You will need to work with Google to regain access to the Stadia account in order to authenticate it when deactivating Cross Save.
[url=https://help.bungie.net/hc/en-us/articles/360049498031]Destiny 2: Cross Save Guide[/url]
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I can't ? Its been permanently deleted ??? how am I meant to unlink an account which no longer exists? any help appreciated
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Then there is nothing else you can do.
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Can I not speak to support?
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There is no need to speak to Bungie support they are literally the ones who created the policy. You had the only access to that account and it got deleted while attached to cross save. It's stuck there as a result. It cannot be removed unless you do so.
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Bungie does not make exceptions to their Cross Save policy.