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6/3/2022 4:48:23 AM
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Movie Review of “Morbius”

This musical is truly the pinical of modern cinema, unmatched in all theatrical fields. It convinced me that life had meaning and that my dad might come back. It's a heart-warming lovestory between a combat medic with ptsd from 1v1ing Thanos during the Vietnam War, and a washed up black market arms dealer (played by Belle Delphine) who currently runs a ponzi scheme. Dr. Mikail "Morbungeréna" Morbbler is expertly portrayed by professional actor Justin Biever. He's a gorgeous beast who I fantasize of being in the room with when he seductively says his famous catch fraise "It's Morbin time." Not only does it include a stellar cast, (Elon Musk, Jonny Depp, Dream from Fortnite, Shrek's Outhouse, and a Caution Wet Floor sign from your local Kroger), but the plot is so masterfully crafted that I had to be transported to the hospital from the movie theater after loosing so much water from crying, finishing the movie first. My favorite scene is when Dr. Michelle "Morbingus" Morbster tells Darth Gandolph not to do it because he has the power of God, anime, and the high ground on his side. I won't spoil anymore of this movie, because I feel strongly that every person should be blessed with seeing it. It restores sight to the blind, mobility to the lame, and my dad in my life. I ask of you, I beg of you to spend every dollar you have to watch this movie as many times as possible, because every dollar goes towards pulling Dr. Michelob "Morbarachina" Machiato out of homelessness, because he is a real person, at least that's what Greg, the guy who apparently only I can hear, told me while I was eating mushrooms.
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  • I hope that this is a -blam!- post. Otherwise you had a stroke after the first sentence, and should seek medical assistance immediately. I give the actual movie 4 stars.

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    • Guys I'm about to morb what do I do

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      • Edited by One Shot Ted: 6/5/2022 12:14:52 PM
        I heard they re-released it in theaters and it bombed a second time. I have absolutely no idea what any of this is about (I haven't even seen a trailer for whatever the -blam!- this movie is), but I'm guessing the internet did something funny again.

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      • I went to a bar last week and saw this total morbette. I immediately morbed a little in my pants and decided to put my morb where my mouth is. I went up and sat my Morbussy on the stool next to her, and asked her if I knew her. Nah, you're too pretty. I'd remember your face. Tequila to remember, whiskey to forget. She was instantly morbing out her panties at the mere thought of morbing out with me. Then some anti-morber jerkop came up and said "Are you -blam!- quoting Morbius (2022) to pick up girls?" I panicked. I said "Would you like some whiskey, my friend?" and he started assaulting me. I morbed the hell out and morbed all over that guy and am now in federal prison for "Murder". Don't those detectives know it was a morbius reference?

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      • [spoiler]its morbin time[/spoiler]

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      • I keep reading Morbius as Morpheus

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      • I’m about to MORB

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      • Morbius. A fantastic movie about morbin. Best part is when morbius was morbius. One of the background characters saw him while he was flying. I could hear him yell “it’s morbin time” as he flew past him. I’m not surprised that it sold 10 morbillion tickets and made 14.2 morbillion dollars. Indeed this movie will be a classic and many generations shall watch this masterpiece loving its iconic character Morbius.

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      • My favorite part of the movie is when Dr. Michael Morbius looks at the camera and says. "To Morb, or not to Morb? for that is the question." And then he literally Morbed everywhere.

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      • 👏

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      • Yes he is real & mushrooms are always at the root of everything! 🍄

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      • Woops, looks like you may have oversmoothed just a little...

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      • I'm morbing so hard right now.

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      • It’s Morbin’ time!

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