{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
Edited by Peaches Pan Tao:
5/29/2020 1:46:31 AM
17
I just lost the woman of my dreams...
>Be me
>Come to coffee shop to work on my novel that will inevitably suck
>Park
>See red Toyota something or other
>Cartoon gandalf sticker (above) reading YOU SHALL NOT PASS
>Love that shit
>Think "would be awesome if thats some chick's car"
>See cute bead looking thingy hanging from mirror
>Probably not fat basement dwelling dude's car
>Go into coffee shop hoping for chick.
>See chick near where I sit talking to an older friend
>Pretty, with prim and proper look balanced by confidence and probable intelligence
>Is probably astrophysics major or something way out of league
>Exactly what makes me hard
>Chick and friend leave shortly after I sit down
>Watch chick walk out to parking lot from table
>Feel like creep
>Please oh please be the gandalf car
>Chick gets into gandalf car and drives away
>Will never love another woman again
>Post in b.net as tears stream down face and hoping rona gets me
>Will probably go lick wal mart shopping carts after posting
>The world will never be beautiful again
True story. Kinda. Anyway, I come to this coffee shop a lot and I'm hoping this girl shows up again, not that I'd have balls to say anything.
-
Absolute comedy gold!! Thank you for the lolz
-
2 RepliesAstrophysicist fetish. Interesting
-
1 ReplyYou mean to tell me you had a chance to hop in the trunk and you [i]didn’t[/i]? This is on you
-
1 ReplySee Peaches I think the next time you see this women, you need to pull out the ole' homo habilis out on her. It made everyone here love you and become mildly aroused whenever we saw it, so theoretically the same principles are at play here?
-
1 ReplyEdited by f3: 5/29/2020 4:54:00 PMOkay, here’s what you do. The next time she walks into the coffee shop, you need to jump out of your chair, and do it with enough force and passion to knock the chair to the ground. But this must be executed with precision; you don’t want to send the chair just clattering to the floor. No, you want the chair to tip over and strike the floor once; a single clap, like the strike of Saint Peter’s gavel, and whether or not you are allowed into the heaven of her soul depends on execution. The sound of chair striking floor will stop her in her tracks, and she will turn, stunned, to see you standing erect, staring her in the eye. Start playing [url=https://youtu.be/AOdVNMy9PPQ]this song[/url] at a reasonable volume. And as it starts, you will walk slowly towards her, never breaking eye contact, the swelling music engulfing you both, the shared trance now erasing the world around you, leaving only you, her, and Lionel. As you continue, you begin to feel the very fabric of reality, an inevitability drawing together two souls, inextricably bound. And as Lionel finally cries out, [i]”Hello?...”[/i], you take her in your arms and ask, [i]”...is it me you’re looking for?”[/i] (You’re gonna want to time it so that you reach her as Mr. Richie gets to that part of the song, so just walk at whatever pace gets you to her in [url=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AOdVNMy9PPQ&persist_app=1&app=m&t=0m38s]about 35 seconds[/url]). Then you’ll dance slowly in the coffee shop, still maintaining eye contact, and about [url=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AOdVNMy9PPQ&persist_app=1&app=m&t=1m15s]a minute and 15 seconds[/url] into the song (it’ll make sense if you follow the link), you dip her and you kiss. And then everyone in the coffee shop claps. Hasn’t failed me once. I mean, I’ve never tried it, but it works [i]great[/i] how I imagined it.
-
I lost my chance as well. The people at the sanitarium found out that I was attempting to seduce the female residents. I told them I had no choice, because no SANE woman would have anything to do with me. They still took away my keycard.
-
[b] [/b]
-
1 ReplyA day in the life of an every day male.
-
1 ReplyPlot twist, it’s her boyfriends car
-
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - Some smart old dude
-
Edited by RheubenThePig: 5/29/2020 4:07:59 PMGandalf car 🚗 Bottom text[spoiler]baited[/spoiler]
-
Only read the topic and all I could think of is yeah sucks waking up
-
4 RepliesLemme just flex that my GF loves LotR
-
2 RepliesDid you get the license plate?
-
1 ReplyJust do it, Flatman.
-
[quote]probable intelligence[/quote] Possible, m8. [i]Possible.[/i] It's 2020, dude. [spoiler]It's the same with dudes. [/spoiler] [spoiler]You know how the jedi mind trick doesn't work on some life forms? FWIW I've found it less likely to work on dudes. And that ain't because of the mental fortitude, if you catch muh drift.[/spoiler] [spoiler] [/spoiler]
-
1 ReplyThe pain is real.
