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Edited by indigo_rhodes: 5/16/2019 2:06:42 AM
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Favorite Copypasta?

This is self explanatory, just post your favorite copypasta(s) here. Here’s a few of mine: [spoiler] We start with Mr. Krabs, who is obviously the Bourgeois business owner who ruthlessly exploits Squidward and Spongebob. There is no question about this, it is repeatedly demonstrated that Mr. Krabs is a cruel boss, pathetically obsessed with money even at the expense of his own health (“Squid's Day Off”). He has attempted to charge his workers for breathing (“Squid on Strike”), forced them to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (“Graveyard Shift”) and even traded Spongebob's soul for a measly 62 cents (“Born Again Krabs”). His continual protection of the Krabby Patty Secret Formula from Plankton, in which he enlists the involuntary help of Spongebob (who sees it as a valiant quest to protect the honor of the Krusty Krab) and Squidward (who is just in it for the paycheck), is nothing more than a cheap quest to protect the profit margin of the Krabby Patty, which he likely sells for more than it is worth. There are two ways his workers can react to this awful situation, and Spongebob and Squidward each represent one of them. Squidward is the class-conscious worker. He is fully aware of his miserable situation under the thumb of Mr. Krabs, thus resulting in his depressed and irritable attitude. He is clearly no stranger to Marxist ideas, being the only one of the two to quit due to Krabs' abuse (“Can You Spare a Dime?”) and starting a strike against Mr. Krabs (“Squid on Strike”). He finds solace in art, and dreams of living in a utopian Fully Automated Luxury Communism, relaxing while making his art and sharing it with the world. It was Oscar Wilde, after all, who argued in The Soul of Man Under Socialism that only when their needs are fully accounted for can the artist truly hone their creative genius. He is continually disappointed with his fellow proletarians, the denizens of Bikini Bottom, most of all Spongebob. If one thinks about it, Squidward really has no apparent reason to hate Spongebob. Spongebob is incredibly kind to Squidward, giving him gifts, saying good morning to him every day, altogether just trying to bring joy into Squidward's life. We are led to believe that Squidward is simply a curmudgeon who hates Spongebob for being happy while he is depressed. But is that really as deep as it goes? I think not. Once one realizes the Marxist undertones in Spongebob, the answer is clear: Squidward resents Spongebob because he is not class-conscious. Despite his miserable working conditions, despite his boss's abusive behavior, Spongebob remains relentlessly optimistic. A classic case of the unconscious worker. He is cheerful and optimistic about his condition because he is unaware of anything beyond it. He has a Stockholm Syndrome-esque relationship with his boss, seeing him as a father figure (a classic symptom of blind obedience to authority) and enduring humiliating treatment because he holds on to the promise of one day owning the Krusty Krab, thus taking Krabs' place as the new Bourgeois. Given that he does not even know what a Strike is (“Squid on Strike”) it is clear that he has never been exposed to the Marxist critique. In this context, Squidward represents the ill fate of the worker who does not respect his fellow worker. His attempt at revolution fails because he does not respect Spongebob, and simply tried to use him as a pawn for his own ends. But I digress. Patrick represents what Marx called the Lumpenproletariat. Unemployed, he is left out of the class struggle, and even if he were involved in it would be too stupid to do anything, as symbolized in his attempt at employment in “Big Pink Loser”. However his value to Squidward, the class-conscious worker who hopes for revolution, is underrated. Marxists from Bakunin onward have criticized Marx's rejection of the lumpenproletariat, and Stephen Hillenburg is no exception. Patrick clearly has the socialist spirit in him, recognizing the value of idleness and enjoying life's simple pleasures. Patrick never seeks after money or power as the Bourgeois expects him to, he simply wants to live out his life in peace. He values friendship over all things; he once admitted to spending all day waiting for his best friend, Spongebob, to come back (“New Student Starfish”). Could this represent how industrial work gets in the way of social bonds? Possibly. The point, my friend, is that Patrick in his idle lumpen state has captured the same optimism and joie de vivre of Spongebob. It could be said that the only difference between him and Spongebob is that Spongebob has subsumed to industrial work. In this way, he is the proletarian who is conscious of Socialist ideas without even knowing it. Sandy and Plankton represent two possibilities of the future in Marxist analysis. Both of them are clearly college-educated scientists whose approach to technology differs based on their position towards Capitalism. Plankton represents the dystopian Capitalist future, the future of Cyberspace where companies like the Chum Bucket control society (remember that Plankton's expressed goal is to “take over the world”). He represents a cold, distant, inhuman, industrial future, as symbolized by the cold metal interior of the Chum Bucket. Sandy, on the other hand, seems as well-versed in technology as Plankton, but has used it for a completely different purpose. She has created the treedome, an ecological, self-sustaining utopia in which she has everything she needs. She built a rocket to the moon for the sole purpose of exploration (“Sandy's Rocket”). She pursues science out of pure wonder and a desire for the fulfillment of knowledge, unlike Plankton who pursues science out of a desire for domination and control. She represents Fully Automated Luxury Communism, a utopia in which everyone has everything they need and are free to pursue their passions without the burden of work. Finally, we have Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff was a hard one, but I think she represents the failure and uselessness of modern education. She continually attempts to teach Spongebob a useless skill (he walks to work, he doesn't need to drive) for a pathetic trinket of authority (his driver's license, whose possibility of attainment he worships).[/spoiler] [spoiler] What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little -blam!-? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Big Top Circus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on congress, and I have over 300 confirmed balloon kills. I am trained in juggler warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire USA Clown Industry. You are nothing to me but just another balloon. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me in the stands? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of clowns across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my big ass clown shoes. Not only am I extensively trained in fist to fist combat, but I have access to an extensive backlog of magic tricks and tomfoolery and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit my repressed clown fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo. Honk[/spoiler]

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  • [spoiler]What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little -blam!-? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo.[/spoiler] [spoiler]What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL -blam!-ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THESTRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO -blam!-S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL -blam!-ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL -blam!- THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE -blam!- OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO -blam!- THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE -blam!- DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE -blam!- OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES![/spoiler]

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