JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

OffTopic

Surf a Flood of random discussion.
Edited by indigo_rhodes: 5/16/2019 2:06:42 AM
23

Favorite Copypasta?

This is self explanatory, just post your favorite copypasta(s) here. Here’s a few of mine: [spoiler] We start with Mr. Krabs, who is obviously the Bourgeois business owner who ruthlessly exploits Squidward and Spongebob. There is no question about this, it is repeatedly demonstrated that Mr. Krabs is a cruel boss, pathetically obsessed with money even at the expense of his own health (“Squid's Day Off”). He has attempted to charge his workers for breathing (“Squid on Strike”), forced them to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week (“Graveyard Shift”) and even traded Spongebob's soul for a measly 62 cents (“Born Again Krabs”). His continual protection of the Krabby Patty Secret Formula from Plankton, in which he enlists the involuntary help of Spongebob (who sees it as a valiant quest to protect the honor of the Krusty Krab) and Squidward (who is just in it for the paycheck), is nothing more than a cheap quest to protect the profit margin of the Krabby Patty, which he likely sells for more than it is worth. There are two ways his workers can react to this awful situation, and Spongebob and Squidward each represent one of them. Squidward is the class-conscious worker. He is fully aware of his miserable situation under the thumb of Mr. Krabs, thus resulting in his depressed and irritable attitude. He is clearly no stranger to Marxist ideas, being the only one of the two to quit due to Krabs' abuse (“Can You Spare a Dime?”) and starting a strike against Mr. Krabs (“Squid on Strike”). He finds solace in art, and dreams of living in a utopian Fully Automated Luxury Communism, relaxing while making his art and sharing it with the world. It was Oscar Wilde, after all, who argued in The Soul of Man Under Socialism that only when their needs are fully accounted for can the artist truly hone their creative genius. He is continually disappointed with his fellow proletarians, the denizens of Bikini Bottom, most of all Spongebob. If one thinks about it, Squidward really has no apparent reason to hate Spongebob. Spongebob is incredibly kind to Squidward, giving him gifts, saying good morning to him every day, altogether just trying to bring joy into Squidward's life. We are led to believe that Squidward is simply a curmudgeon who hates Spongebob for being happy while he is depressed. But is that really as deep as it goes? I think not. Once one realizes the Marxist undertones in Spongebob, the answer is clear: Squidward resents Spongebob because he is not class-conscious. Despite his miserable working conditions, despite his boss's abusive behavior, Spongebob remains relentlessly optimistic. A classic case of the unconscious worker. He is cheerful and optimistic about his condition because he is unaware of anything beyond it. He has a Stockholm Syndrome-esque relationship with his boss, seeing him as a father figure (a classic symptom of blind obedience to authority) and enduring humiliating treatment because he holds on to the promise of one day owning the Krusty Krab, thus taking Krabs' place as the new Bourgeois. Given that he does not even know what a Strike is (“Squid on Strike”) it is clear that he has never been exposed to the Marxist critique. In this context, Squidward represents the ill fate of the worker who does not respect his fellow worker. His attempt at revolution fails because he does not respect Spongebob, and simply tried to use him as a pawn for his own ends. But I digress. Patrick represents what Marx called the Lumpenproletariat. Unemployed, he is left out of the class struggle, and even if he were involved in it would be too stupid to do anything, as symbolized in his attempt at employment in “Big Pink Loser”. However his value to Squidward, the class-conscious worker who hopes for revolution, is underrated. Marxists from Bakunin onward have criticized Marx's rejection of the lumpenproletariat, and Stephen Hillenburg is no exception. Patrick clearly has the socialist spirit in him, recognizing the value of idleness and enjoying life's simple pleasures. Patrick never seeks after money or power as the Bourgeois expects him to, he simply wants to live out his life in peace. He values friendship over all things; he once admitted to spending all day waiting for his best friend, Spongebob, to come back (“New Student Starfish”). Could this represent how industrial work gets in the way of social bonds? Possibly. The point, my friend, is that Patrick in his idle lumpen state has captured the same optimism and joie de vivre of Spongebob. It could be said that the only difference between him and Spongebob is that Spongebob has subsumed to industrial work. In this way, he is the proletarian who is conscious of Socialist ideas without even knowing it. Sandy and Plankton represent two possibilities of the future in Marxist analysis. Both of them are clearly college-educated scientists whose approach to technology differs based on their position towards Capitalism. Plankton represents the dystopian Capitalist future, the future of Cyberspace where companies like the Chum Bucket control society (remember that Plankton's expressed goal is to “take over the world”). He represents a cold, distant, inhuman, industrial future, as symbolized by the cold metal interior of the Chum Bucket. Sandy, on the other hand, seems as well-versed in technology as Plankton, but has used it for a completely different purpose. She has created the treedome, an ecological, self-sustaining utopia in which she has everything she needs. She built a rocket to the moon for the sole purpose of exploration (“Sandy's Rocket”). She pursues science out of pure wonder and a desire for the fulfillment of knowledge, unlike Plankton who pursues science out of a desire for domination and control. She represents Fully Automated Luxury Communism, a utopia in which everyone has everything they need and are free to pursue their passions without the burden of work. Finally, we have Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff was a hard one, but I think she represents the failure and uselessness of modern education. She continually attempts to teach Spongebob a useless skill (he walks to work, he doesn't need to drive) for a pathetic trinket of authority (his driver's license, whose possibility of attainment he worships).[/spoiler] [spoiler] What the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little -blam!-? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Big Top Circus, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on congress, and I have over 300 confirmed balloon kills. I am trained in juggler warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire USA Clown Industry. You are nothing to me but just another balloon. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me in the stands? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of clowns across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my big ass clown shoes. Not only am I extensively trained in fist to fist combat, but I have access to an extensive backlog of magic tricks and tomfoolery and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit my repressed clown fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo. Honk[/spoiler]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

View Entire Topic
  • [spoiler]Brother: (reading from Book of Armaments): And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats Brother Maynard (Eric Idle): Skip a bit, Brother... Brother: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it. Brother Maynard: Amen. King Arthur (Graham Chapman): Right. Brother [/spoiler] [spoiler]Europe Responds To Increasing Terrorist Threat The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get the -blam!-." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. [/spoiler] [spoiler]Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one. [/spoiler] and most importantly: http://namsla.wikidot.com/copypasta-cheerios

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

You are not allowed to view this content.
;
preload icon
preload icon
preload icon