its quite simple really around 400 years ago, i was climbing peaks of the Hindu Kush. There ontop of the mountain i met a man. that man was 1035 years old, or would have been today if... ok nevermind lets just focus on one story at a time. so there i was, i found the man and he said - " i will show you eternally life, and give you eternal happiness - if you can tell me the one thing that would make you the happiest right now" I looked at him, and took his hand, and said "dear Mountain Elder, old wise one of the Kush, i wish for one thing, that is a P8ssy without a bush" "a P8ssy hungry and starving for a pounding, yet always looking for some something good" "a P8ssy that really wants me, and my 3 and a half inch size wood" The man Gasped, and looked at me, and said " will grant you all of this, if you will take me for a piss, i have been sitting crossed legged for years, and i have mildew on my tits," "sure thing mister i will take you, just give me what i want!" "take me for a piss first, i dont have a magic f8cking wand?" So i told him to go FK himself, as he is most likely a fake oh dear lord was i foolish, that was a big mistake "i curse you to become what you want to have the most! i really need to piss and you wont help me out of this pose!" "hey FK you man and your curse, what is the worst that you could do? before i knew it i was stuck in Africa, having kittens in a shoe" so long story short, i was the cat and got re incarnated as a man, when i passed away by having my asshole busted, digging in that trashcan as for the man on the mountain he sadly passed away holding in your piss for 1035 years, causes your bladder to fail and you die in agony.