Chuck Norris died years ago, but death is too afraid to tell him.
There is no such thing as continental drift. All the continents are just slowly backing away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for awesome martial arts skills. Then he roundhouse kicked the devil and took his soul back. They now play cards on the second Wednesday of every month.
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I heard he won the poker world championship with Pokémon cards