[spoiler]If any of you remember from the this year's dawning, I wrote a 3 part story about how everyone's favorite cryptarch and agent of the nine were involved with some shady stuff regarding Forsaken exotics. No, it's not fanfic, its just a funny way to explain all of that BS from a lore perspective. I promised myself that I would continue the story when tentacle face started to sell actually good stuff for once. Idk if anyone cares anymore, but here you go I guess... Part 1: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/250128558?sort=0&page=0&scrlybrkr=e23e1de1 Part 2: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/250143492?showBanned=0&path=0 Part 3: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/250160609?showBanned=0&path=0 [/spoiler] [b]Titan, Moon of Saturn[/b] Warlock: FINALLY! I thought you were going to leave us in the dust since last weekend. Xûr: Forgive me, I could not quite find a completely diverse supply on my previous arrival. I do hope this more than makes up for it. Warlock: Thanks again, dude... Xûr: Wait! The Nine have given me a formal request for all guardians to meet them in the Drifter's Derelict, being that you can bring them a collection of items. Warlock: Uh, thanks? Why do they want to see us guardians? Xûr: I don't know, they just gave me these promotional cards to give to every guardian I see on every supply run for the foreseeable future. Warlock: Sure, whatever. See you next week... Xûr: Farewell, guardian. Rahool: *walks out from Shadows* Umm, what the hell are you doing? Xûr: Enough is enough, Rahool! They were getting restless and I think they were planning to send me to the big ascendant realm in the sky, [i]if you catch my drift[/i]. I needed to give them SOMETHING! Rahool: But did you ever think for a second how our *whispers, as footsteps and Thorn shots can be heard in the distance* [i]Employers[/i] would feel about this? Xûr: I don't care anymore! They can come after me personally if they want! It would be better than being thrown into a Radiolarian pit on Nessus by a crazed herd of Guardians... Xûr: *sighs* Mind if I change the subject? I don't want to worry about this any more than I have to. How is that therapy group going? Rahool: HBGA? It's alright, the people are fine, they have coffee, and we get a few new members every once in a while. Still sure you don't want to come? Xûr: I'm going to have to kindly decline, Rahool. Rahool: Fair, it's pretty boring at times. Well, stay safe buddy, I have to get back to the Tower. Hangar Office [b]6 hours later[/b] Tess: ...and that should be all of our returning members. Everyone, we have a couple new people here with us tonight. This is Aunor, and a few of her coworkers. Everyone: Hi everyone. *Aunor's followers sit uncomfortably in their seats, holding onto their powerful gear and Enhancement cores.* Aunor: This is absolutely ridiculous. We need to get back to work fighting the dri- Tess: Please leave Politics at the door. This is a safe place where all are accepted, *under breath* No matter how badshit insane... Aunor: I KNOW HE IS DOING SOMETHING! I JUST NEED MORE TIME TO COLLECT DATA! Zavala: Aunor, please stop this. *whisper* You're making us look crazy... Aunor: Fine... I swear to the Traveler, You don't do anything around here... Random Follower: Zavala's right, I did this to protect the city, not to take part in a manhunt. Plus I just wanted the weekly enhancement core. Aunor: *walks up to front of room, pushing Tess out of the way* OK, lets take a vote: All of those who joined my cause just for the weekly loot drop, raise your hand. Aunor's followers: *raises hands* Zavala: *slowly raises hand* Aunor: ZAVALA WTF?! Zavala: I RAN OUT OF CORES LAST WEEK OK WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?! Aunor: But you are THE LEADER OF THE VANGUARD! Zavala: ... Aunor: S-so all of you get did it for the CORES?! Crowd: *collective nods and "yeah, pretty much"* Aunor: But... but... Tess: OK, please sit back down. Any more politics and I will have to ask you to leave. Aunor: *sits back down* Rahool: wow... Aunor: SHUT UP.