God: *Makes basically perfect planet for carbon based life in the universe, with almost every biome imaginable*
God: Ok now for the grand finale, behold...
The Human!
*Angels applaud*
God: It is basically the smartest thing I have ever made, and is self aware so it can make its own decisions!
Angel: Wait... Haven't we seen enough sci-fi to know that everything goes to hell once you make it self aware?
God: Yeah, but [i]I[/i] made it. How bad can it possibly be? Answer, IT WON'T. I spent 13 billion years waiting and preparing for this moment.You honestly think I would spend this long making something only to have it fail miserably?
Angel: Sir, Adam and Eve are ready for deployment into the Fertile Crescent.
God: *pops open champagne, while grabbing a pile of sand* Get ready for this to be the best thing you've ever seen!
-2,000 years pass-
God: ...
Angel: So...
God: Just... Don't.
Angel: We do have one plan to fix all of this though...
God: NO
Angel: He could save them...
God: ...
...
...
...
...Fine.
-~30ish years pass-
God: OH MY...
Angel: Uhhh, that did not go well...
God: YOU THINK? THEY NAILED HIM TO A DAMN TREE AND LET HIM BLEED OUT!
Angel: I knew we should have just destroyed the Romans when we saw them take over the Mediterranean.
God: Ok, well, at least it can't possibly get any worse...
-6,000 years pass-
Angel: So, what more do you want to add to the list?
God: Well what do we have so far again?
Angel: The Top 10 are
Climate Change
Communism
The Third Reich
European treatment of Africa
Crusades
Venezuela as a whole
North Korea
Islamic terror
Spanish Inquisition
EA
English
#Offtopic
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Yeah, he didn't even give us fire breath. Like wtf, I wanna toast marshmallow with my breath!