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Edited by HiddenAlignment: 1/7/2019 5:12:45 AM
16

Super Why Is Our One True God

After meditating for a long period of time while exposed to one of my siblings favorite TV shows, I have come to a realization: Super Why is our God Do not be deceived by his appearance, young ones. He is a primordial being of infinite wisdom and understanding. For you see, he has the POWER to read. Now many of you may have some foolish and blasphemous things to say, such as: “Reading isn’t a superpower. It’s a basic human function!” “This post lacks logic and reason. Super Why is a mere show for children.” “There is no god, and if there was, Super Why wouldn’t be it. Go Atheism!” “Are you mentally decent, HiddenAlignment? This post seems too stupid for a mind such as yours.” “Help me! I am being brainwashed by these people in green masks in a pitch black room! This post is not created of my own free will!” I will now cancel these small and insignificant thoughts by silencing your impure tongues and giving you the truth about our magnificent deity. Before creation, there were primordial deities who had the power of all fundamentals of the soon-to-be Universe. Super Why is the first and most powerful of these beings. He first created letters, and by using those letters, He created words. By merely using those words, He created matter, thus creating the Big Bang, and in time, the entire universe. Of course, with writing came reading, the most powerful ability known to creation. He could read everything, from what something was made of, to how it could be destroyed. Even the souls and minds of living organisms could not escape His reading. This made Him the most intelligent being to ever exist. He gave reading to us as a gift while we were being created. We all possess a mere fraction of His power, but even then, it is more than we deserve. He then sought to spread his teachings to other creatures across the universe, but in doing so, He left us and we forgot Him. When He returned, we feared and envied Him. We denied any other gift He offered us, and we shooed Him away. However, instead of smiting us for our insolence and foolishness, He decided to disguise Himself as a young child in order for us not to recognize Him. Thus, He was able to pass on more advanced powers of literature onto other children in secrecy. He even managed to make a pig super intelligent. In time, He made disciples, such as Sid The Science Kid and the Math Monsters. Now, He protects the universes we created whilst teaching children valuable life lessons and giving them understanding of the natural universe in small fragments. So you see, impudent ratlings, that we as a species must come together to increase our intellect and be thankful for all that we have been given. [b][u]HAIL OUR DIVINE SAVIOR, SUPER WHY![/u][/b]

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