Nice to see you back. It’s late, but Merry Christmas. This is an interesting story, but there are a lot of grammatical errors that make it hard to read. The biggest problem is that some of your sentences are far too long and made of too many fragments. The very first sentence is an example. Use less commas and more periods. Make sure the meaning of each sentence is clear. There are some misspellings. For example: you used “witch” (like a sorceress) several times, but “which” is correct. Some of what you said about the Fallen caste system wasn’t accurate (for example: the role of the Shanks), but this is a fanfic, so lore accuracy isn’t so important. If you want more specific corrections/advice, just PM me.