Destiny, the epiphany of loot shooters in the gaming industry, packed with deep, extensive lore, lovable characters, and true care from developers. Unfortunately my lust for this game has slowly dwindled on my character over the years, in the beginning everything was, well what I can only describe as perfection. In Destiny 1 I was gifted something that truly changed my life forever, the Zhalo Supercell... This weapon, forged in lighting, an arc weapon in a primary slot, was my new found lover. We did everything together since the day we met. Strikes, raids, crucible, no matter what it was we were there for each other every step of the way. Then, on March 23rd of 2017, a promotional poster was leaked for Destiny 2. I was ecstatic at first, thinking about all the new planets, enemies, raids, and loot. Fast forward a few months down the road and Destiny 2 ultimately released on September 6th. This is when the realization hit me. Where was the Supercell? Where was that one weapon that truly stole my heart in the first game? For weeks on end I searched through dozens of promotional material, leaks, forums, and to no avail. Bungie murdered my wife... and I had to come to terms with that. I was hesitant in the begging, but I knew that there were plenty of other weapons out there, all willing to love me the same as Zhalo did. With this mind set I ventured out into this new experience, in hopes of feeling the touch of a loving weapon once more. Throughout this campaign I met plenty of these weapons, such as D.A.R.C.I, a perky little sniper rifle, deals significantly high precision damage, not really my type, too dominate for my taste. Then there was the MIDA Multi-Tool, though many of my friends all shared this love for her, until they all dumped her after she was nerfed, I don’t want someone who sleeps around anyways. Lastly I met someone all too familiar, the Riskrunner. We got along great for a wile, she was perfect for me, just my type. Arc, chains lighting between enemies, blue exterior. But still, she wasn’t my Zhalo, simply a knockoff as a lazy attempt to make me feel some compensation for the death of my wife. This is why I am writing this. Developers, I ask, no demand you to bring my wife back. My life has been nothing but a stumbling spiral of constant failures and embarrassments since you did this to me, and I’ve finally summoned up the courage to speak out about it.
Thank you for your time,
-A once loving husband.
English
#destiny2
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but they gave you a son... Riskrunner lol
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Dude, chill. Save some pussy for the rest of us.
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I'll be your daddy now!!
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1 ReplyEdited by BossCharacter: 8/24/2018 12:50:33 AMSorry she left ya, but she knew who daddy truly was so it wouldn’t have lasted anyways. Edit: Downvoted just because I felt like it.
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1 ReplyJust -blam!- riskrunner and get over it.
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6 RepliesEdited by Portal154: 8/23/2018 3:01:36 AMI don't want to spoil your relationship, but I have to admit that I've used your wife a few times as well. Sorry, I didn't realise she was spoken for.
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Zhalo wasn’t your wife. She was puppy love. First crush, perhaps a high school sweet heart. Zhalo may never cheat on you, but she’s never going down on you, wearing lingerie, or role playing. Best advice I could give you, find a pretty little new thing that’s easy to come by. Like an aachen LR2 sniper, or refrain auto rifle with rampage. Take them out live a little, let loose. Hell, ride them hard a put ‘em to bed wet if you want. Then, when your done find you a nice local like graviton, she’s newly single. Perhaps, nice curves are what your after...try vigilance, her dad has money anyway. Or still not ready to settle down, but want to take your sex life to the next level? You want a girl who plays for both teams (if you know what I mean). Call up Crimson, just the right mix of naughty and nice! You’ll forget all about Zah- what’s her name. If those don’t work out, dump her for a newer model when forsaken comes out!
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1 ReplyEdited by Philimanjaro105: 8/23/2018 3:33:22 PMI was really hoping to read that your wife left you because of your Destiny obsession. Downvoted.
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4 RepliesScrew Zhalo. Where’s my First Curse?
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1 ReplyBTW 'Zhalo' is 'Sting' in Russian -- Жало. Not exactly female name, just sayin...
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Remove Zhalo, insert Fatebringer.
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I mean it was a decent gun but not really worth marrying. It’s more like a fat chick of guns, you use it, then put it in the vault for later usage like most of your mothers.
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4 Repliesclickbait
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Hawkmoon, at least until the nerfs.
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1 ReplySooo are you riskrunner’s dad then?
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In 2018 originality is gone, now creatives do this fu ck boy sh it called re imagining. The Zhalo super cell is gone friend, it has be re imagined into the Riskrunner, a gun that is only useful after taking damage. Its decent, but cannot hold a candle to the Zhalo. I mourn with you.
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When you had sex were you just inserting clips of ammo? [spoiler]🤣I'm sorry🤣[/spoiler]
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7 RepliesThis is dumb. Couldn't finish reading it. I bet I have more Zhalo kills than you, and would never think of writing something like this. I'm a fan of the gun too. Paragraphs.
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1 ReplyParagraphs. Not just a good idea.
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2 RepliesZhalo Supercell was good but then i find that Risk Runner not so bad either (especially with the catalyst)
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1 ReplyYou've got problems...
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I got clickbaited so hard
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1 Reply[quote]Bungie murdered my wife... and I had to come to terms with that.[/quote] Did you also come to terms that ALL of us had our hands on her and used the hell out of her?
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1 ReplyTroll
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Zhalo was my favorite destiny weapon of all time
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Bro... this... *sniff* It’s beautiful... A story of true love. A story of loss... If you make a petition to bring her back I will help.