i laugh every time. [quote]Mike "Queer Zapper" Pence Mike "Mass electrocution is my final solution" Pence Mike "If dick you desire, fear my electric wire" Pence Mike "Gay and proud? Get a thundercloud" Pence Mike "Your perversion needs an electrical conversion" Pence Mike "AC/DC for LGBT" Pence Mike "Consider a lobotomy before engaging in sodomy" Pence Mike "Blast gays with tesla's rays" Pence Mike "Follow God's path or feel Tesla's wrath" Pence Mike "The only power to queers is volts times amperes" Pence Mike "If you're bi, you will fry" Pence Mike "After these elections, say goodbye to gay erections" Pence Mike "Lightning strike the turbo dyke" Pence Mike "Putting the trans in transistor" Pence Mike "You've got one in the belly? Better find a back alley" Pence Mike "Dicks give you an erection? This circuit's making a connection" Pence Mike "If you like bumming, this chair's humming" Pence Mike "Homosexuality gets you a fatality" Pence Mike "According to the constitution you belong in an institution" Pence Mike "Man wants a penetrator, I'll start the generator" Pence Mike "Closing gay chapters with AC adapters" Pence Mike "Repent for all your sin or get some volts again" Pence Mike "Like men in nylon, become a human pylon" Pence Mike "F***ot medicine from Thomas Edison" Pence Mike "Pray the gay away" Pence Mike "Electoral Volts" Pence Mike "If you're Queer pack your gear" Pence Mike "Like It in the Crapper? You Get the Zapper" Pence Mike "Mister thinks he's a sister, become a human resistor" Pence Mike "If you enjoy cock, you're in for a shock" Pence Mike "Saving Those Babies from Feminists with Rabies" Pence Mike "Get your ass pounded, the wire won't be grounded" Pence Mike "Electrodes for questionable chodes" Pence Mike "Want some cock, get a shock" Pence Mike "Gamma Ray the Gay Away" Pence Mike "cum on your face? To hell you'll race" Pence Mike "Disco inferno" Pence Mike "Take it in the ass and face Zeus's wrath" Pence Mike "Like to fap? You're getting a zap" Pence Mike "LGBBQ" Pence[/quote]

I am the bone of my sword. Steel is my body, and fire is my blood. I have created over a thousand blades. Unknown to death, nor known to life. Have withstood pain to create many weapons. Yet, those hands will never hold anything. So, as I pray...Unlimited Blade Works.

⠀⠰⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⡛⠿⠷ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣄⠀⢶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣤⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠗ ⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⡄ ⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣥⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠃ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁ ⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁ ⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉ You think you're the top dog, huh? You think you're the big dog? You think you're the top dog? You think you've got the best dogs? Think you can pierce my veil? D'you think you can just come up here, walkin' down the street, proclaiming yourself the top dog? Do you think you're the big dog? D'you think your bark is the loudest? Let me show you my big dogs. Let me show you what I've got in my wallet. Let me show you something special. I want you to know how you're not special to me. I want you to know that you're not the big dog, but I'm the big dog. The big dominant dog. The top dog. Leader of the pack, wolf pack. Alpha. I wanna show you my big dogs. Right here, this big dog, this is my Silver Chihuahua. One of the uncommon big dogs. You think you've got what it takes, to defeat my Silver Chihuahua? Well let me throw this at you... a Platinum Retriever. That's right, it's higher than a Golden Retriver. This dog, this dog right here is more powerful than you could ever imagine. It's got 14,000 attack points. It's the biggest dog around. You think you're the biggest dog now, huh? You think you're the best dog? Well I'll show you... my Greyhound Bus. It's a bus. That's named after a dog. It's got 15,000 attack points. Now do you think you're the top dog? D'you think you're the big dog around here? You think you can just walk around my street, piss on any fire hydrant you want? You think you're the kind of dog that can come into my house and just piss all over the carpet? Piss all over the rug? Piss all over the mother-blam!-ing blinds? Do you think that I'm okay with you doing that? Do you think I'm alright? Do you think that I'm an alright person? Do you think that deep down inside, that I'm an okay person? Maybe I'm just a bad person. Maybe I'm a bad dog. Maybe I want you to treat me like I've been a disobediant puppy, but let me show you something else. Let me show you something I've never shown anyone else before. It's my Frog Dog. It's the best dog, ever. It's got 16,000 attack points, it's more powerful than both of my earlier shit-tier dogs. This is an A-Class dog right here. What, you're pulling something out? Oh my God, is that an S-Tier dog? Is that.... is that a... oh my God that's a -blam!-in' Malamute. I've only heard of those things in my dreams. I never thought I'd see one in real life, IRL. I never thought that I wouldn't be the top dog. I thought I was the biggest, baddest one but I guess my bark was much worse than my bite. I guess your bite was just more powerful. You've got the Jaws of Life right there. It's like you could rip open car doors after they've been in an accident. I think you are the top dog. You know what? I'm proclaiming you the top dog. I'm giving you the top dog medal, I'm pulling it out of my chest right now. That's right, you are the top dog. You've won. You've won the prize. D'you still think that I'm an okay person, now that I've let you win? I'm going to go back to the store now, I'm going to walk into my local Wal-Mart, I'm gonna wokima lokilinimy walkle, oh God you've got me flustered. But I'm going to go into my local shop, I'm going to buy a new pack of dogs, and you know what? I'm gonna come back. And I'm going to defeat you. I'm going to become more powerful than you could ever imagine. I'll become the biggest dog, the top-tier dog, the spiciest dog you've ever seen. And then, when I do that, maybe I will have gained your respect. Maybe I will have gained your trust back. Maybe, just maybe, you and I can start a wonderful life together. Or maybe my dreams are just that, they're dreams. Maybe I'll never be able to have anything nice, anything at all. I just wanted to be the top dog, and for a short moment I was, but guess what? You walked in here and you shattered, you shattered everything. You came in here and shattered my perception of who the top dog was. You proved, you truly proved that you sir, are the toppest dog around. Nice. Life is precious, and suicide is a serious issue to be handled by licensed professionals. Bungie employees and forum moderators are not trained to handle those in a suicidal crisis; please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You may also wish to contact any of the following crisis prevention resources: US: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org www.spanusa.org UK: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx Canada: http://suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/ International Directory: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Military Crisis Line: Active duty, Guard and reserve service members, their families and friends stateside and in Europe have 24/7 access to the Military Crisis Line at no cost. For crisis support, those in the U.S. call 800-273-8255, then press 1. Callers in Europe dial 00800-1273-8255 or DSN 118. The toll-free service in Europe may not be available through all carriers or in all countries. Military One Source Toll Free Number: 800-342-9647 Military One Source Crisis Prevention: http://m.militaryonesource.mil/crisis-prevention I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

[spoiler]Taniks has no House. He kneels before no banner, owes allegiance to no Kell. He is a murderer, and very good at what he does. I have been tracking him since Wolves broke their chains, yes? Now Taniks works for Wolf Pack, but not for long.[/spoiler]

https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/244453404/0/0

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, "Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?" The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished. Finally, the son said, "Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball." The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, "If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have." And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a pink ping pong ball. The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again. The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday. "Father," replied the son, "I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls." The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, "If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have." And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls. The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again. The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday. "Father," said the son to this, "I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls." The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. "A carton of pink ping pong balls?" "A carton of pink ping pong balls," the boy confirmed. "I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls," said the father, "but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have." And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls. The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared. "Dear son," said the father, "I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?" The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. "Please humor me, dear father." The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again. The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday. "Dearest father," the son started, "I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls." One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humor his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory. The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home. The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left. The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong. "Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible." It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country. The next day, the father took his son to the harbor and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there. "Father," the son said, "You've made me very happy yet again." That night, the son spent on board the tanker. The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy. A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital. His father visited the young man in hospital. "My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?" Weakly, the son sat up in bed. "Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong balls." The father held his son's hand tightly. "Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls." "Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls." The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk. "Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls." The son nodded weakly. The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room. "Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls," the father requested. The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter. "I-" the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth. "I- I-" Then he died..

Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond travelling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall made of metal into 400 miles an hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted earths orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles an hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 10000 wayward planes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 10000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall travelling at miles per iron, and the result proved with out a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.