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3/1/2018 5:00:13 PM
8
You definitely improved in comparison to your last story. Keep it up!
English
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I liked the first part more... I felt there was more emotion in the first part and I wanted to read more. This part felt unrealistic and didn't develop the characters anymore, also finding the den felt rushed and didn't seem as creepy as the beast in the first part. I am not a writer by any means, but this is my opinion as a reader. I hope you keep up the writing and I am excited for part 3 [spoiler]Wort[/spoiler] [spoiler]Wort[/spoiler]
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Appreciate the feedback man. I understand how you feel. But here's the thing, it's a short story. So you don't necessarily need to develop characters because you have very limited time and space to do so. And I'm not done with the den. That was only the first part of it. And how many horror movies/books are actually realistic. I know what you mean though.
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Let me clarify my thoughts, The story started off pretty realistic, that's why I felt more creeped out by it and wanted to read more, but it became less realistic and I felt this was some fantasy and I wasn't afraid. [spoiler]Wort[/spoiler] [spoiler]Wort[/spoiler]
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The egg part right? I want it to be like alien horror. It was inspired by the movie Alien. Although the eggs in this are totally different. Part three will describe the cave(den) more, and other stuff. But if you're looking for an explanation in a horror story... good luck lmao.
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Well, I wasn't really talking about content, more about the way he wrote (I am a writer).
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Did you fell this part was less engaging or lacked in detail compared to the first? [spoiler]Wort[/spoiler] [spoiler]Wort[/spoiler]
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I think he added a bit of detail, to be honest. However, I'm less 'attached' to the main character. This a typical sign of writing an episode/sequel a considerable amount of time (a month, in this case) later than the original story. I've been a victim of this myself. The only solution is to re-read what you wrote in the first chapter.
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I can agree with that
