So I’m trying to wrap my head around this ... Can you please clarify

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[quote]First... there was the stone ax. Then, the spear came and made it obsolete. Then, the sword came and eclipsed the spear, followed by the longbow, the musket, the repeating rifle, the assault rifle, the fusion rifle, and finally, there was the pinnacle of destructive implements that bore the name "Gjallarhorn" and made every weapon before it as obsolete as horses and buggies or 8-track tapes. But as of this moment, we shall speak no more of old things. We will even set aside that unwieldy and decrepit old rocket launcher with its redundant wolfpack rounds. For today, we crown a new pinnacle of handheld death. Today, we pay homage to a new portable paragon of destruction; a new champion of mobile annihilation; Ragnarok in a four-foot steel package. Today, we celebrate a glorious fresh toy that you can use to make your fellow Guardians explode like rotten tomatoes and cause Lord Shaxx to repeatedly orgasm in his undies. Today, we go to Xur and ask him for... the SWEET BUSINESS! You may be wondering what makes this business so sweet. Well, let me tell you, many things make it so. It's long and shiny and hard, the phallic symbol to end all phallic symbols. Its magazine capacity would make Hillary Clinton throw the mother of all hissyfits. And it has heavy caliber rounds. That means that when someone shoots you with it, it's like being whacked in the face with a six-pound sledgehammer fifteen times a second. But beyond all that, it's a MINIGUN. It's a MINIGUN and you can CARRY THE FRICKIN' THING AROUND AND KILL STUFF WITH IT, I mean, frickin' A, WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?! OK, you say, so it's a minigun you say, so what? SO WHAT?! It's a MINIGUN and that means it's the ultimate death machine, You squeeze the trigger, and it cycles up, and suddenly you are unleashing a hurricane of bullets. You are SPEWING HOT LEAD the way a fire hose spews water, the way Wisconsin spews cheese, the way an American who just drank fifteen glasses of Mexican tapwater spews something I won't mention. And with the destruction it's spitting out, laws of physics says it should be jumping around in your hands like an epileptic anaconda, But Sweet Business treats the laws of physics the way your Golden Retriever treats a fire hydrant. Yes, that's right, this gun PISSES ON THE LAWS OF PHYSICS, because it sends its murderous little lead hornets off in a nice straight line. If you have something in front of you that you don't want to be there anymore, just GIVE IT THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to give the Grim Reaper himself lessons in how to make stuff dead? GIVE IT THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to turn those annoying Eliksni into a nice refreshing Fallen Frappe? GIVE THEM THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to see a line of thralls melt like a pat of warm butter in a red-hot skillet? GIVE THEM THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to watch Vex Radiolarian gunk go splattering all over the landscape like a Jackson Pollack painting? GIVE THEM THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to give it to the Taken? Unsplice the Splicers? Make the Red Legion turn green with envy? THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to walk up to Omnigul and shut her screaming mouth up with a hailstorm of lead? Well, you can't, because OMNIGUL'S IN DESTINY 1, YOU FRICKIN' IDIOT!! But, do you want to make Titans crap bricks in their shiny armor? Make warlocks scamper off and hide in the library? Do you want to kill Hunters off so fast, they don't even have a chance to whine for nerfs? GIVE THEM ALL THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to shoot Lord Saladin in his shiny gold butt for gving out reskinned weapons and forgetting that you're an Iron Lord? GIVE HIM THE BUSINESS!! Do you want to make your small Johnson bigger? GIVE IT THE... well, no, never mind. That won't work. But if you have THE BUSINESS, you won't need a big salami in your trousers. Because the Sweet Business is SO FRICKIN' AWESOME, you'll have women hanging all over you like rhinestones on a Texas drag queen! You will score right and left and sideways! You will get so much poon-tang you'll collapse on the floor from exhaustion, and you'll wind up on life support along with that warlock who took those Peregrines to the face a few years ago! SWEEEEEEET BUSINESS!!!!!!![/quote] k

Sweet Business is god.

In short, THE WEAPON GIVES A KICK BUT RUINS PEOPLES AIM, THE LARGE MAGAZINE MAKES IT A BITCH TO COUNTER!!!

I still use the stone axe to fight in small caves ... The spear did not make it obsolete. Didn‘t read the rest.

My Tool of Reckoning is the Sweet Business . . . [b]AND BUSINESS IS BOOOOOOMING ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! [/b]