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Edited by Chicken in Rice:
11/4/2017 10:34:41 PM
66
Post Your Brain Farts Here
We've all had them. Those moments where your brain just stops functioning for a moment and you do something that makes no sense.
I'll start: One time I was getting some food, and after I got it I went into the bathroom and was about to dump it in the toilet. Luckily, I woke up from my mental prison and stopped myself before the food was dumped.
Here's another one, but it's from a friend of mine, not me: They were preparing some steak to be cooked in the oven. Instead of putting it in the oven, the went to their computer and started trying to shove the steak into the screen of their monitor. They got frustrated that the steak wasn't going through, then they realized that they were being insane and they stopped.
[spoiler]Edit: Also, you can test your friends to see if they will brain fart. It's very simple:
Step 1: Text your friend, or family member, saying "Hey I can't find my phone, can you call it for me?"
Step 2: Sit back and wait for them to call you.
If they suddenly call your phone, then they have brain farted.[/spoiler]
English
#Offtopic
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Not me, but I once got a text from my friend asking if I knew where his phone was. I replied, “check your hands”
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Once I forgot what the letter "Q" looked like.
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Edited by AptTechnetium: 11/7/2017 1:26:22 AMOne time I confused a toilet and a waste basket. I realized which was which too late. I also backed into a light post when learning how to drive once.
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3 RepliesEdited by OldboyVicious: 11/4/2017 10:54:45 PMAfter a movie I had to go to the bathroom real bad. I'd been holding it for awhile cause I didn't want to miss anything that was happening. I hurried out amid the crowd, pushing my way through people, and went in. I looked around, wondering why the bathroom was so different than the previous time I had used it, which was right before the movie. "That was a quick remodel!" I thought to myself, as I wondered why there was an extra little room with a counter and several mirrors but no sinks. I also wondered why the wall behind the yellow couch had pink accents. Also. . . The couch hadn't been there before either, nor the little stand next to it with a vase and flowers. As I proceeded through this quaint, feminine pre-room and began to turn the corner to where the urinals would obviously be, two women walked around the corner, leaving the bathroom. That's when it dawned on me. I was in the women's restroom. The two women looked at me, surprised, and laughed. One of them said something to the effect of "I think your in the wrong ones buddy!" but I can't be sure because before she could finish her sentence I turned bright red, put my hand over my face, lowered my head, blurted out a quick "Sorry!" spun on my heels and got out of there as fast as I could. But the worst wasn't over. As I exited the women's room, there was a large crowd of people milling about, waiting for friends, making their way to theatres, etc. I'm sure it's exaggerated in my memory but it felt like a hundred people all noticed and started laughing, with one guy exclaiming "That dude went in the girls bathroom!" and pointing and laughing. I stopped, trying to regain a sliver of my composure, failing of course, I put on a sheepish smile and pointed over my shoulder proclaiming "Uhhh, that's the ladies restroom in case anyone was wondering." As the two women that I'd bumped into inside the restroom, walked past, one of them turned and said "It's a little late to have figured that out." I took little solace in the fact that she seemed to be more amused than angry. I can at least be glad that, as badly as I needed to relieve myself in that moment, I didn't do so in front of that audience. The theatre was in an outdoor mall, and as my friends and I walked around after the movie, there were a few occasions that people recognized me and said something about it. One notable encounter was a girl trying to be discreet as she pointed me out to her boyfriend saying "That's the guy I was talking about, who..." I didn't hear the rest, but I'm pretty sure I know how the rest of the story went.
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Edited by Seldser: 11/5/2017 11:23:47 AM>be me >leaving Tim Horton’s >reach car >hands full, can’t grab keys >set coffee on car roof >flash back to seeing numerous people forgetting coffee on car >think “I’m not that stupid!” >about to try to unlock car with house key...
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1 ReplyPutting my phone down for a second so that I can look for my phone
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2 RepliesSometimes i forget to finis
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I literally used the flashlight on my iPod to look under the couch for my iPod
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"What liquor is in whiskey on the rocks?" - The very first thing I said in a bar when I turned 21.
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I forgot how to stand
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Buttermilk in my cereal
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Edited by KingOfGames: 11/5/2017 7:41:57 AMI'm currently tripping right now. I'm 1% away from collapsing into utter fatigue sleep. My ming and brain and skull is swirling inside itself. I just went into density 2, and like the -blam!-ing mad man I am, I took EVERY single hand cannon throughout my whole g0td@m collection, put em on my hunter, fast traveled to -blam!-ing earth, and walked forward while blasting hand cannon rounds into the air. I switched hand cannons occasionally until I ran out of ammo. I swear to Jesus that a Titan stopped doing the public event he was doing to turn and look at me funny. HE LOOKED AT ME, FUNNILYYYYYYY I TELL YOU. I didn't even realize I ran out of ammo until a few minutes.
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>Be me >Doing a graph in math class >Accidentally swaps X and Y >Teacher looks at my work >Calls me a lazy coward >-blam!- you teacher.jpeg
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My life
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Uhhh.. I was gunna comment something. ... uhh
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2 RepliesBack when I first got my first cell phone, if I could not find it, I always knee where it was, the damned fridge!
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A friend was introducing me to an acquaintance of his from Norway (or Poland, Idk, one of those places) so I started going on how I was recently struck with intrigue and curiosity about those places, started discussing linguistics and what not and completely forgot what language they speak where he's from and forever gave the guy the impression that I'm stupid...
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Can i post a butt burp instead???
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I once was a coconut out at sea, flouting and a bobbing in blue fish pee. I was brown and I was hairy so you know my name is Gary.
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Dipping cookies into soda.
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1 ReplyPutting an empty cup into a full cup of tea Putting your phone into a full cup of tea Putting your food into a full cup of tea
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Once in fourth grade i thought i had graphite in my mouth and so i was like i need to spit it out. My crush was also in that class with my and without thinking i spat onto the ground and everyone asked me if i was ok.
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Once in 4th grade i thought i had graphite in my mouth and i was like i need to spit it out so i spat it out right there in front of my crush. Everyone was like are you ok and i was like "um.... yeah"
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Edited by Kittimu: 11/6/2017 12:15:34 AMI think I once tried to take a plate of food up to the bathroom. I was gonna eat in the kitchen... That ones right up there with closing Facebook to look for Facebook, and trying to put a fork in the pantry (I was unloading the dishwasher)
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Sometimes I wash my hands and then forget to chop them off
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5 RepliesPouring pepsi into a pot noodle.
