Table of Contents https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/225386550/0/0 "Agh!" Welkine wailed, "Now I'm chafing!" "Well that's what happens when you get plowed into the ground," Yvan scolded, "You get lunar dust in your armor." "It's not my fault that Pike hit me," Welkine defended. "Yes it was," Yvan corrected, hopping over a small ledge, "You were paying too much attention to the Vandal." I jumped up behind Yvan, then reached back and pulled Welkine up. "Thanks, Keis," Welkine said, then returned to the conversation, "You saw it coming. You could've warned me." "Where's the fun in that?" Yvan asked, "I don't get many chances to enjoy myself." We stopped outside the empty doorframe of an abandoned structure. Yvan crouched for a few seconds, then used his Light to make himself invisible as he looked inside. "Clear," Yvan announced. Welkine relaxed and stepped in first. He shouted in surprise and was answered by an equally surprised Fallen cry. I quickly moved into the building to see Welkine smashing a Vandal's face with the butt of his gun. As its body crumpled, a Dreg pounced on Welkine, knocking him down. I raised my hand cannon to shoot the Dreg, but Yvan reappeared and tackled it. They rolled off of Welkine and came to rest with Yvan sitting triumphantly on top, pointing his scout rifle at the Dreg's head. Yvan fired and ether spewed across the ground. "What the crap!" Welkine gasped, heaving himself off the ground, "You said it was clear!" "I lied," Yvan replied, rising from the limp body. "Why?!" Welkine questioned. Yvan shrugged, "Because it was fun." "I'll be sure to ask a Warlock if that's in the definition for 'fun'," Welkine grumbled. We scanned the room to make sure it was empty, then left and continued down the trail. The occasional building interrupted the Moon's dull landscape as we scouted the area. "Did you hear about the guy who came here?" Yvan inquired. "Yes," Blanc answered, "A Titan scout. Killed by Hive." "No, the guy who came after," Yvan corrected, "The same Guardian that killed an Archon, found the Hive on Earth, AND activated the Terrestrial Array." "They've been busy," Welkine's Ghost observed. "You're darn right," Yvan agreed, "Null's been goin' crazy over it. Thinks there's some kind of conspiracy, maybe. Everywhere you look, this guy's saving the day. Now we're out here, locking down Luna. Earlier it was the Cosmodrome. What'll we be doing next 'cause of this guy? Returning to Venus? Scouting Mars?" "I'm sure we've saved the day, too," Welkine said. "I've only saved my own days," Yvan returned, "Keis has probably done some heroic deeds. Not sure about you, pal." "Don't be rude, Yvan," Paris chided. Yvan sighed, but stopped his harassment. We ambled down the trail, rounding a bend and coming to an overlook of a small crater. The entrance to a tunnel was carved into the opposite side of the clearing, and a handful of Hive shuffled around in front of it. Yvan's scout rifle disappeared, replaced by his sniper rifle. He looked through the scope, picking a target. "Careful," Welkine's Ghost warned, "There could be more." "I know," Yvan said, "That's what I'm hoping for." He pulled the trigger and the sound of the gunshot rang out as an Acolyte was reduced to ash and bone. Several Thrall shrieked, searching hungrily for the source. More spilled out of the tunnel and we were quickly spotted. The horde swarmed towards us and Void darts sprayed at us, poorly aimed over the long distance. "Oh, great," Welkine sighed, "How are we supposed to deal with all that?" "Keis can handle 'em," Yvan assured, ignoring the Thrall and picking off Acolytes, "Go ahead, Keis." I looked down to the Thrall, who were closing the space between us. They were all clumped together in a compact group, making an easy target. I planted my feet and raised my right arm. As my hand cannon dematerialized, Void energy flowed through my arm. I flung my arm forward, launching a Nova Bomb at the Thrall. They barely had time to stumble before they were disintegrated in the blast. "That worked," Welkine observed, "Now what, oh wise and powerful leader?" "You forgot handsome," Yvan corrected, continuing his suppression of the remaining Hive, "You two take a stroll down there and flush the rest out. I'll just sit my prim and prissy self here. Have fun." Welkine shrugged, seemingly content, and we ran down into the crater. Sparse Void darts skipped around us, but most of the Hive that dared to peek out from behind their rocks were instantly killed by Yvan. When we reached the nearest stone, Welkine vaulted over it, smashing in the skull of a startled Acolyte. I lunged around the side of the next boulder, quickly shooting two more Acolytes. The remaining Hive noticed us, abandoning their cover and rushing out in every direction. Welkine and I ducked through the rocks, dispatching the nearest Hive while avoiding Void darts. Yvan was picking off the rest one by one. A booming roar announced the arrival of a Knight. It strode out of the tunnel, accompanied by a small pack of Acolytes and Thrall. Yvan fired into the mass, killing two of them. Welkine and I crouched behind the nearest rocks, tossing grenades at them. The Hive scrambled after us in a frenzy, led by the Knight. When they were close, Welkine leapt out from his rock, using his Lift to glide in the air. Arc energy darted over his arms as he fell down into the Hive. His Fist of Havoc erupted in a sphere of electricity around him, annihilating the swarm. "Did you see that?!" Welkine cheered, hopping and pumping his fist. "No," Yvan responded, sarcastically feigning interest, "I was distracted reading a fascinating book on the history of watching grass grow. Whatever was this amazing feat that you pulled off?" Welkine sighed, then crossed his arms and grudgingly admitted, "That joke about grass growing was actually pretty funny, even if you're a jerk." "Thank you very kindly, sir," Yvan replied, seeming pleased behind his sarcasm, "It's good to know I have a sense of humor." "Don't push it," Welkine warned. "Let's get out of here," Welkine's Ghost directed, "Before more Hive show up." "Good idea," Paris agreed. Welkine and I trudged back up to Yvan, then we resumed our journey along the path. After a few silent minutes, Blanc whispered, "Keis, remember what we talked about earlier?" "What's she talking about, Keis?" Welkine inquired, glancing back at me over his shoulder. "Would you like to hear me make a joke?" I asked. "What?!" Welkine questioned, stopping and doing a double take. Yvan also stopped and said, "I've gotta hear this." I took a moment to think of a joke, then said, "They once had a street named after Lord Shaxx, but they had to rename it because no one crosses Shaxx and lives." Yvan released a short bark of a laugh. Welkine didn't seem to react. "Was it funny?" Blanc inquired. "Yeah, yeah," Welkine answered, "I'm just having trouble processing the idea of you making a joke." "I liked it," Paris said. "I liked the part where people died," Yvan added. "Did you come up with that?" Welkine's Ghost asked. "I heard someone say it at the Tower," I responded. "A couple of Guardians were making jokes," Blanc explained, "Shaxx seemed to be the most popular theme, and Zavala, though those tended to be offensive." "I wanna hear some of the offensive ones," Yvan volunteered. "That's enough, Yvan," Paris said. "Hey, I'm not gonna go insult Zavala," Yvan defended, "Not to his face." "No, I meant we've patrolled the whole area," Paris corrected, "We need to report back to the Vanguard." We stopped and Welkine said, "Then call in the jumpships. The sooner we get out of here, the sooner I can stop worrying about a Thrall jumping me." "Agreed," Blanc chimed. "They're already close," Paris updated. "Well," Yvan chirped, clapping his hands together, "While we wait, Keis can tell me one of those Zava-" "NO," Blanc and Paris cut in simultaneously. Yvan crossed his arms and huffed, "Fine."