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5/17/2017 2:15:13 AM
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I have to do the intro speech at graduation.

Help.

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  • Remember this critical thing about graduation speeches: NO ONE GIVES ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING A -blam!-. Seriously, they don't. Graduation speeches are just an annoying obstacle keeping students from getting their damn diplomas already. Graduations are almost never comfortable for the audience, either. You're sitting on these cramped, ass hurting bleachers, parents are desperately trying to keep their little kids from screaming, and graduations are almost never air conditioned, so everyone's sweating in their uncomfortable nice clothes. Make your speech short. Just hit all the cliches ("I learned and grew so much during my time at this wonderful school...") and be done in 2 minutes or less. Because, and I really can't stress this enough, [b]NO[/b] [i][b]ONE[/b][/i] [u][i][b]CARES[/b] [/i][/u].

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