What the in the name of the Queen did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little chav? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SAS, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Ireland, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gentlemanly warfare and I'm the top rooter tooter long range shooter in the entire UK armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the -blam!- out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this great planet, mark my -blam!-ing words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, chap. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the world and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, banger. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Royal Marines and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little muppet. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn dolt. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're -blam!-ing dead, mate.

She hunts the Valus named Ta'aurc by the grunting radio traffic of his bodyguards. Cayde sent her to Mars to track and so track she will even if it kills her a hundred times. For him she will hunt forever. When Ta'aurc goes down into Meridian Bay she follows him in the night and finds herself caught up in the war. Like this— Something's happening, her Ghost says, something's wrong. She leaps from the Sparrow and gets cover between slabs of ancient stone haunted by quiet firefly light. Harvesters sweep overhead, cautious, prowling. On the Cabal command network a low voice mutters in their tongue, saying: Stand by to fire. They are coming. Stand by to fire. Hearing this she climbs a stone obelisk and perches on its point to watch the night sky. She wonders whether she will ever stand in the Tower courtyard and look up at the stars waiting for ruin. The Vex erupt from nothingness and crash down over the Cabal in formations of golden light. Lightning arcs and snaps and gives birth to marching ranks of bronze warrior hulls. Gun positions thunder back. Tracers sweep the sky and she can feel on her skin the electromagnetic howl of Cabal munitions seeking targets and the prickle of stranger signals that whisper of broken space and bent time. A Harvester spins down burning to shatter itself on the sand and now the command network drums with grim Cabal war-speak, a Centurion somewhere crying Black Shield, Black Shield, Firebase Thuria, perimeter compromised, request terminal protective fire, zero six zero, one three eight, immediate effect— Do you feel that? her Ghost whispers, awestruck. Yes, she says, yes, what is it? Something high above them not Vex nor Cabal narrowing its great eye to measure the battle with instruments of light and gravity. Does she—remember it? Does it remember her? It feels like she should... She has the sense of something old lifting a long spear. Testing its heft. Then dawn light, a terrible dawn—the sky opens up to admit devastation, thrown down from orbit: Minotaurs fall burnt and broken with their fluids boiling out. Cabal guns detonate in thunderous chains as tiny piercing flechettes fall out of the sky and find their ammunition bunkers. The battle stops. The Vex wink out. On the Cabal network the voice of Valus Ta'aurc roars: GAME DESTINY JA DOES YEARS I DO NOT HAVE ANY HEAVY WEAPON OF THE YEAR 1 JA MAKES THE END OF CROTA AND CRYSTAL CAMERA VARIOUS AND SEVERAL TIMES AND NEVER CAME A HEAVY WEAPON, WANTED A LOT TO GJALLARHORN, MORE TO PRA DESISTI BECAUSE SHE NEVER COMES, PRISON OF THE ANCIENTS YEAR 1 I JUST DID SEVERAL TIMES ALSO AND NOW NOTHING THAT GAME TA SACANAGEM WITH MY FRIENDS JA HAVE THE HEAVY WEAPONS OF THE YEAR 1 AND I HAVE NO STILL THAT SACK BUNGIE IMPROVES TO MY REWARDS

Comrade, now is time for a frown, I said comrade, Steel production is down, I said comrade, capitalists are clowns, You may need to sleep on the ground. Comrade, there's a place you can go, I said comrade, you'll have to trek through the snow, you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find many ways to spend your time. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. You can have your fair share, but your own money is rare, of you the government will take care. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. Get your shovel and hoe, and harvest some potatoes, I do not care if there is snow. Comrade, are you listening to me? I said Comrade I know what you want to be, I said comrade, realize motherlands dreams, but you've got to know this one thing. Rich man, ruins world by himself, I said no man, will have personal wealth. So just come here, to the USSR, Our land stretches near and so far. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. You can have your fair share, but your own money is rare, of you the government will take care. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. Get your shovel and hoe, and harvest some potatoes, I do not care if there is snow. Comrade, I was once in your shoes, I said Comrade, we hate the Red White and Blues, I feel no man, better than me or you, the Aristocracy are fools. That's when, Lenin came up to me, and said Comrade, take a walk up the street, I made a place called the USSR. They can start you up with a farm. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. You can have your fair share, but your own money is rare, of you the government will take care. USSR, You'll find it at the USSR. Comrade, now is time for a frown, I said comrade, Steel production is down. USSR, You'll find it at the USSR. Comrade, now is time for a frown, I said comrade, Steel production is down. USSR, You'll find it at the USSR. Comrade, are you listening to me? I said Comrade, I know what you want to be

Mine: Step 1: Lock yourself in a cande-lit room Step 2: Use goat blood to paint a circle inside a triangle inside a circle Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit Step 5: Buy a tank and paint it white Step 6: Buy free candy Step 7: Lure children inside your tank Step 8: Sell them free candy (plus tax) Step 9: Buy an old sock and a computer Step 10: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Step 11: Start recording Step 12: With butter in the sock, march to your friend's house Step 13: Go in the bathroom Step 14: Dig a tunnel to Canada Step 15: Hitchhike to the South Pole Step 16: Realize the Earth is flat Step 17: Use flat-earth transportation technology to return to the cande-lit room Step 18: Rick-roll the Illuminati Step 19: Get accepted into the Illuminati Step 20: "It was just a prank bro" -Illuminati leader Step 21: April Fool's Step 22: Opposite day Step 23: So the Earth is round? Step 24: Cry in a corner Step 25: Sell tank and remaining candy Step 26: Microwave your phone Step 27: Toast the microwave Step 28: Freeze the toaster Step 29: Blow up the freezer Step 30: Summon Cthulu Step 31: Conquer 79.6% of Earth Step 32: Make a youtube channel Step 33: Do vlogs until you have -17 subscribers Step 34: Self-advertise Step 35: Hey could you please check out [url=https://youtu.be/vTIIMJ9tUc8]my youtube channel?[/url] A sub and like would mean a lot to me as I have gone through cancer and many other health problems and can do nothing else. Thank you very much. Some others I stole: [spoiler][Open on a top-down shot of Winston's desk. Winston grabs the camera and pulls it up to point it at him. He is eating a banana.] Winston: Is this on? [Cut to Winston reading his script and adjusting his glasses.] Winston: I made a chronal accelerator. I'm sure I can do this. [Cut to Winston looking directly at the camera. The room is slightly darker as the sun has begun to set.] Winston: To all agents of o- [The camera falls back down. Cut to the same shot of Winston facing the camera.] Winston: To all agents of Overwatch! [sigh] That's not right.. [Cut again. The room is barely lit now.] Winston: To the FORMER agents of Overwatch! This is Winston! Ha ha! [slumps] ..obviously. [Cut again. The room is completely dark now. Winston growls in frustration, then laughs awkwardly and adjusts his glasses.] Winston: ..Thirty years ago, the Omnics declared war. [Winston pulls a hologram image and puts it onscreen. It is an image of a large omnic marching through a city, with a small army of orange Bastion units behind it. People are fleeing.] Winston: The nations of the world had no answer until they called upon a small group of heroes. [The scene switches to Jack Morrison, Gabriel Reyes, Reinhardt, and Torbjörn firing at a stationary omnic turret. Ana Amari is sitting on its back, tearing out wires.] Winston: Overwatch was created to rescue humanity from the Omnic Crisis. [The scene switches again. An old man and an omnic, both dressed in blue suits, are shaking hands in front of a podium. To the sides, wearing suits and medals, are Tracer, Gabriel Reyes, Winston, Ana Amari, McCree, Reinhardt, Mercy, and Jack Morrison.] Winston: We became the greatest champions of peace and progress mankind has ever seen! [Switch to Mercy, Ana Amari, Jack Morrison, Reinhardt, Winston, and Tracer posing heroically. The words "Join Overwatch Today are visible on the right.] Winston: You were chosen because you had powers and abilities that made you... You joined, because you.. [Cut back to Winston. The room is still dark.] Winston: [sighs] You already know this. ..Look, the people decided they were better off without us. They even called us criminals! They tore our family apart. But look around! [Winston taps on his keyboard, bringing up several scenes that play one after another. The scenes are, in order: an explosion on the top floor of a skyscraper in Numbani, the destroyed railway in Route 66 with fire everywhere, giant omnics firing at the Kremlin from all directions, two Japanese children crying over the body of their omnic housekeeper while surrounded by people with rifles, citizens around the Temple of Anubis in rags and starving, and omnic rights protesters fighting King's Row police.] Winston: Someone has to do something! WE have to do something! [Cut back to Winston.] Winston: We can make a difference again! The world needs us now, more than ever! [Winston removes his glasses.] Are you with me?[/spoiler] [spoiler]Comrade, now is time for a frown, I said comrade, Steel production is down, I said comrade, capitalists are clowns, You may need to sleep on the ground. Comrade, there's a place you can go, I said comrade, you'll have to trek through the snow, you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find many ways to spend your time. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. You can have your fair share, but your own money is rare, of you the government will take care. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. Get your shovel and hoe, and harvest some potatoes, I do not care if there is snow. Comrade, are you listening to me? I said Comrade I know what you want to be, I said comrade, realize motherlands dreams, but you've got to know this one thing. Rich man, ruins world by himself, I said no man, will have personal wealth. So just come here, to the USSR, Our land stretches near and so far. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. You can have your fair share, but your own money is rare, of you the government will take care. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. Get your shovel and hoe, and harvest some potatoes, I do not care if there is snow. Comrade, I was once in your shoes, I said Comrade, we hate the Red White and Blues, I feel no man, better than me or you, the Aristocracy are fools. That's when, Lenin came up to me, and said Comrade, take a walk up the street, I made a place called the USSR. They can start you up with a farm. Its fun to be in the USSR, Its fun to be in the USSR. You can have your fair share, but your own money is rare, of you the government will take care. USSR, You'll find it at the USSR. Comrade, now is time for a frown, I said comrade, Steel production is down. USSR, You'll find it at the USSR. Comrade, now is time for a frown, I said comrade, Steel production is down. USSR, You'll find it at the USSR. Comrade, are you listening to me? I said Comrade, I know what you want to be.....[/spoiler] [spoiler]In the dim shed, warm and swirling with dust, Tobias Behenck crouches to tend the fire burning beneath a large metal saucer, in which a fresh batch of farinha de mandioca is drying. Like a great many Brazilians, Tobias and his brother Paulo, both manioc farmers and millers, eat this coarse manioc meal practically every day for lunch atop their rice and beans. The nutrient-dense dish is so widely eaten in Brazil that its name in Portuguese, arroz e feijão, is also slang for “simple” or “basic.” Manioc itself—a large, starchy tuber, also called cassava—plays a fundamental role in everyday Brazilian cuisine. In addition to farinha de mandioca, it’s also used to make a manioc starch called polvilho, which can be classified as sour (fermented) or sweet (not) polvilho. In the United States, the sweet polvilho is known as tapioca starch, useful as a thickener and in various other applications in the gluten-free kitchen. It’s used to make tapioca, the essential ingredient in many a Midwestern pudding, as well as the gooey, tender tapioca balls at the bottom of your bubble tea. Today, the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations estimates that manioc is the primary food staple for around 800 million people, with more than half the world’s annual production, now around 260 million tons, in Africa. Nigeria is, by a long shot, the world’s leading producer, with Brazil, Thailand, and Indonesia duking it out for a distant second. But, despite the fact that manioc is Brazil’s most important contribution to the global food supply, this remarkably versatile ingredient remains relatively unknown outside the tropics.[/spoiler] [spoiler]Reported. Called the cops, called the Fire Department, called pizza hut, called the USN, called the Royal Navy, called the Red Army, called the FBI. called the CIA, called Interpol, called the KGB, called the USMC, called the USAF, called the Royal Air force, called Scotland Yard, called the US National Guard of every state, called NYPD, called Obama, called the Queen, called Putin, called David Cameron, called every Governor of every US State, used my time phone to call Winston Churchill, As well as Hitler, Stalin, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Montezuma, Caesar, and Gilgamesh, called US Army, called British Army in every era, called every phone sexline, called papa john’s, called the US Coast Guard, called my State Senators, called every republican in the US, called Dr. Who, called the Pope, called my local Gang lords, called the State Patrol of ever state west of the Mississippi, called all of my local news channels, called Vince McMahon, called The Sun, called The national enquirer, called CNN, called Scot Pelly, called Steven Colbert, called half of the Mexican Drug Cartels, called Nintendo, called the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force, called the head of the Illuminati, called the Ghostbusters, called every free mason, called bilderberg, called my neighbors, called the mayor of ever city in France, called my mom, called the Emperor of Man, and called every school district in Canada.[/spoiler] [spoiler]I have GAME DESTINY JA but I don't want to be banned until I can figure out how to get an alt to work.[/spoiler]

Is this directed at me?

Reported

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