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Edited by Hypothermia:
5/24/2016 12:09:13 AM
385
Destiny "Porn" Videos Get Me In Trouble With Wife
I like to record gameplay videos in case something cool/terrible/glitchy happens while I am playing. If I decide a video is a keeper, I rename it and drop it into my Destiny (total stripper/porno name) folder.
Soooo, my wife was in my office the other day and I must have left my Destiny folder open on the desktop with file names like "From Behind #1, From Behind #2, From Behind #3" "Double Exotics" and "Hammered Hard."
Later that night, we are getting ready for bed and, I kid you not, here comes the "So who is Destiny" questions and the "like it from behind and hammered hard?" comments.
Pro-Tip: DO NOT LAUGH when this happens. It just makes it worse.
(I had to explain the game, and show her the videos to get out of it.)
True story. Please, feel free to laugh at my expense. :^)
[i][b]*EDIT* [/b][/i]
For the few people that say "[i]funny but fake[/i]" or stuff like "[i]your wife should know what games you are playing or heard of Destiny by now[/i]" here's the deal: I'm 47 and I've been married for 26 years. Like most of you, I play a lot of video games but my wife could care less which games they are...there is no "Destiny," "The Division" "Overwatch" or "DOOM"...they are just "video games" to her.
It's the same way with our cars, I have a restored big block 1970 Camaro (she has a 1971 El Camino) that I am always working on, upgrading and tweaking. She sees me under the hood all the time, she might even know that I am replacing a carburetor, etc. etc. but she couldn't tell you what make / model / brand of the carb I am installing. It's the same thing with video games.
[URL=http://www.hardocp.com/images/news/1464045137DuqDWC49KN_1_1.jpg]Me and my wife's muscle cars[/URL]
That...and after 26 years of marriage...she's definitely a keeper. ;)
English
#Destiny
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1 ReplyI had a canary yellow 70 camero when I was in the army. Unbelievably quick, 350 4 bolt main, 4 speed muncie, I miss her. Got married had a kid, good bye car lol.
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1 ReplyEdited by Its Very Legit: 5/24/2016 5:30:02 PM"Red Death fun time" Or maybe [spoiler]"At least it's chained up"[/spoiler]
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That El Camino is sweet man!
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Your wife has a near to fully restored 1971 el camino. And why am I not married to you?
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LoL personally you should of used initials Destiny hammered Hard or DHH only you would off known what it meant and saved the big explanation with laughing at her ouch bad move there otherwise great story
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Kutos to you brother. I was howling at your story. And i can relate. Its just video games to them. "Whats dad doin?" "oh hes just playin some game"
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"Muscle cars"
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"Muscular guy fists 6 people at once" [spoiler]Sextuple kill fist of havoc[/spoiler]
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Warlock puts his balls on 3 dregs
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Edited by Mini: 5/27/2016 12:52:56 PM7 years of marriage, same. Though she used to play CoD MW2 and Mortal Kombat (vs she kicked my ass) when I played those, though she never bothered to know what they're called, it was always "the game" or the shooting or fighting game. She does think all anime is cartoon porn though and she won't watch any to be convinced otherwise so not sure where that idea of hers came from.
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2 RepliesEdited by Creed422: 5/22/2016 4:34:59 PMA guy I was grouped up with in CoE while fighing the taken fallen boss (Keksys?). The guy said "I hate taking those black balls to the face!". Then you could hear his lady in the background "What you say?!". Had us rolling so hard we all died and had to restart the round.
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2 RepliesRoses are red Violets are Blue Getting smashed from behind part two.
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I wonder what she thought of "1 second strike win", "5 minutes waiting", and "team top score" [spoiler]wait, actually, in this context... eugh. [/spoiler]
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22 RepliesWatch this man you wont regret it lol
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10 RepliesWhere do you live, Mars?
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[i]two in the morgue[/i]
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6 RepliesI had a similar situation but what I call "porn" was car/tattoo magazines (which I totes read for the articles, honest). Well my gf started referring to my magazines as porn also and one day while we were out shopping she asked me if I wanted to stop by the newsagent and get some porn. I replied that I'm fine. Then my gf said, "You had a busy week, Baby. Go get yourself some porn and relax on the couch with it and I'll make us some lunch." Right at that moment two guys walked past and heard this and the priceless jaw-dropped look on their faces I'll never forget.
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Hands down the funniest post i have ever read!
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That Camino bro. Murder it out.
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Hahahaha funny story. My wife came home one time right when we were finishing off Oryx and heard me yell into the mic "chest chest chest" and she's like wtf who are you talking to? Lol
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Beautiful cars. I can relate on the rest. I'm in the same boat.
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Hue Hue
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2 Replies"Exo Female gets Havoc Fisted"
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I laughed so hard I cried.
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Lol epic story
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That was pretty funny man. I know what you mean. My ex hated video games with a passion. I think it was a jealousy thing. So my idea was to get her involved. I bought her a 360 and a couple tomb raider games. That was 6 or 7 years ago. I think she still plays.
