I accidentally shot my sister, mom, aunt, grandma, cousin, and daughter with a sniper rifle lol

Whats the opposite gender to a Boeing AH-64 Apache Helicopter?

Me in 12th grade, kind of a clown. It was '08 so calling people "Jew" was considered okay, like playful teasing. Super cute girl I don't know all that well walking down the hall as I'm taking a pass to some random class smiles at me and says "Hey." "What's up Jew?" I respond She pulls out a gold Star of David necklace from under her shirt. Still smiling brightly, not upset at all. I feel like the biggest asshole ever, regardless of how much she didn't care.

So really liked this girl, beautiful, popular, funny, played video games, the complete package. I helped her get over her cheating ex and we kissed and it looked like I was going to get the girl of my dreams. We went to homecoming together and I asked her to be my girlfriend but she said no. I took it pretty hard and kinda cut off ties and started talking to a girl I worked with who had a kid. Everyone warned me don't get involved but I was naive. Basically to sum up that relationship I came out of it with an amazing daughter but also an ex wife all of this by the time I was 19. Obviously it sucked pretty hard. Well the girl that I liked before was jealous that I had gone and found someone else instead of clinging to her and giving her constant attention so she stopped talking to me entirely. I still miss just talking to her and seeing her face but I'm smart enough to know that she was pretty vindictive but I was immature and it probably wouldn't have worked out with her in the end. TL;DR live and learn

"Wrong hole fool"

>In French class >1st period >tired as -blam!- >Dancing time >wtf.mp4 >8/10 grill wants to danser with me >lol k >grabs hands >*equips thorn* (sweat) >danser >sit down confused/dizzy >uneventful day >virginity.jpg[spoiler]14=forever alone[/spoiler] ALSO I stared at this girls tits while she took off her shirt (was wearing 2) and zoned out. Didn't even realize until she started looking at me funny.

Tried dating over Xbox a few years ago. Turned out she was like 13. I was 17 at the time. Broke up with her and she told me she carved my name into her arms. Yep.

Drinking with ex gf. Got wasted bar hopping all night, took the party back to my apt. Sex is all but guaranteed at this point fam :' ). Bottle of whiskey is opened. Now at this point I made a decision. I decided to impress the grill with my mad drinking skillz. Drank from the bottle for as long as i could hold. Feel like a boss. Suddenly realize stomache is on fire. Annnnd then the puke starts. She ended up dragging me to the shower. This girl is tiny mind you, 4 foot 9 (thats 145cm for eurofags). I woke up a few hours later in my bed with no clothes on. She was sitting in the living room watching netflix and smoking. "Uh...sorry"

Chick I was making out with (after much drinking) put her hands in my pants, she got pissed I wasn't hard, and left the room. Ended up getting an erection like as I watched her go. Spent the night on the couch alone.

The worst moment that ended up as something I'll remember forever. Be me, 6th grade (just moved to new school in 5th grade) my locker is a top locker and I have a 6 foot tall dood under me. I dropped something on his head and he let out an "ow" I was just like "oh my god I'm so sorry" "It's okay not your fault" "Yes it was I dropped a book on your head" "Yeah I guess it was I was just trying to make you feel better" "Well thank you that was very nice of you" We just kinda talked until the bell rang then parted our ways but he is now my boyfriend. What started as the most awkward conversation ever turned out to be awesome lol

>Last year > Beaut 8/10 that I've known for years comes up to me, had a crush on her throughout high school > Asked her out once, she stood me up >"Hey, uhhhm, I really like you, and I was thinking uh..." >"But [name] you're my good friend I don't want to lose that" >HOWS IT FEEL WITH THE SHOE ON THE OTHER FOOT BIATCH Am I still kicking myself over it? Absolutely. Was it also one of the funniest moments of my life? You can bet your sweet ass it was.

The virginity meter in this thread is bursting out of the roof.

So this broad had a condition where her pussy didn't get wet and I gave her the raw dog pangy for 5 hours straight. Never busted. Dick was pins and needles for the next three days. I don't have sex without a condom anymore.

She said happy birthday to me and I said "you too". I never wanted to die more than at that moment

When it comes to true stuff that actually happened, Raptor has stories for days. Everybody knows this. You know this. Your mom knows this. Your sister [i]definitely[/i] knows this - that's out of the question. This isn't my worst moment, but it's up there. I gotta give the backstory first, so bear with me here. I mentioned this elsewhere, but back in high school, I was big in the art department. I had a major hand in most of the major projects the art dept. did, as well as school events, I was the main artist for the school comics which dropped like every 2 weeks, and in the 12th grade I made a really sick stick figure animation that got played at the Pride Day ceremony (basically, like every year in 2nd semester, our school had a week dedicated to... school pride.. it's a long explanation. But it's dope though. And Friday is Pride day and we'd have a wicked ceremony in the assembly hall where basically the whole school would be from 2:15 to the end of the schoolday) You get the picture though. I was quite the well-rounded artist (still am to some extent. but not like back then, when I had the time, you know). But anyway - in the 11th grade, 2nd semester, our art teacher put together this Art Club thing that met every Tues/Thurs until 5:00. School ended at 3:30, so you're looking at an hour and a half. (We'd already had a sort of art club, but it was more 'elite', in the sense that we focused almost entirely on major projects and you had to be at least in Art 3, which is basically the Junior year level art class). This club was more of a do-what-you-want, everybodys-invited, laid-back and extremely chill, hey-lets-bring-that-darth-vader-costume-today-and-make-a-sculpture-for-the-hell-of-it deal Now, I used to carpool 2 people home after 5:00 because I had the wheels to do it and I didn't mind. One of those people was this guy I knew. Jason. Cool dude, for the most part. I let him borrow my Gears of War 2 and my Enemy Territory Quake Wars one time and it took like 3 weeks for me to get them back. That shit pissed me off. I never did get Quake Wars back.. I wonder where that game is now... But he was one of those... You know..Used to always wear a hat backwards, long hair, T-shirt with a band on it, Vans shoes only, the government's feeding you bullshit - yaarr! type of dudes, and he was the drummer for this band that's actually starting to gain some renown. I won't tell the name. That reminds me, there was this place that always had up and coming bands and stuff doing concerts and stuff, but they mostly catered to like death metal stuff, and moshpits, and 'step in the circle and I'll 360-spinkick your life into oblivion!' and I went there one time... Long -blam!-ing story for another day. But back on track though, the other person I used to drive home,[i] first[/i], mind you, was this chick Eris. No, not Eris Morn. That would be sick. This is a different Eris though. I'd met Eris that same year, in the first semester - we had 2 classes together, Math 3 and Chemistry - two stupidly hard classes. Until 2nd semester, we sort of had that type of relationship... you know.. you see the person, you're not really sure if you know their name but you know who they are, maybe said a sentence or two to them, etc. I mean, she was a friendly person I guess. Not mean or stuck up or anything, but she was definitely a part of the popular crowd. I just didn't really talk to her like that until I came across her in the art club, cause that's how I am. I've always kept to myself for the most part. But let me get to the day in particular. I remember this week specifically, cause it's the week I made one of my best investments I've ever made - I finally got my hands on a legit copy of the Overcast album by Atmosphere (That was back when Slug was dope. He's gotten garbage now if you ask me. Same deal with Cage). Also, I was working on something serious in the Art Club - I was using a pair of big styrofoam boards to make a battlefield for an army of Grey Knights and like a ~1100 pt. army of Black Legion Chaos Space Marines I'd built. One of my more ambitious undertakings in high school, I must admit. Those of you who know WH40k know how much money that is. On this day though, Jason didn't show up. If I remember right, he was like.. what? sick or something? noo, no, he'd fractured a bone or something in his leg. That's right. He was a skateboarder and got hurt that week. But bottomline is that it was just me and Eris this day. So around like 4:55, after I'd gotten all my stuff ready to move, I walked over to her and asked her if she was ready to go. She held up this not-good painting she was working on, and asked me if I liked it. I told her something like... "Meh.. I mean.. Practice makes perfect, you know." She said something like. Like uhh.. how'd it go... "Well, not everybody can be as amazing as you Covan..." I said "Well Eris, I didn't know you had feelings for me like that" She kinda laughed it off and said something like "You know what I mean.", but she put her stuff in her portfolio and we headed out to the car, talking about something, can't remember what.. something about the cardboard they were feeding us in the cafeteria I think. Actually, let me stop right here. If I'm not mistaken, some of you out there are wondering what Eris looks like. After all, what's a story about a girl if I don't talk about her appearance? Well, there's good news and bad news on that front. The bad news is that she doesn't look like Eris Morn. That would be dope, undoubtedly, with the three eyes and the mysterious demeanor (I like Eris Morn, ohkay? Damn). The good news is that she looks.. good. I must admit. If any of you managed to see my ummm... [i]Comments[/i] on that "hottest girl known to man thread", before the ninjas got to it, then you know that I have some pretty strict/steep standards for what qualifies as good. This girl didn't need makeup of any kind, she had a really nice sort of hourglass figure, and long red hair. Really charming smile. Dressed really nice every day (which is something that a lot of people don't do. That was one thing that I put a lot of work on in my Freshman/Early Sophomore years at high school. Not really buying expensive shit, I don't like expensive stuff, but just having a wardrobe that forced me to put at least some effort into my appearance. A lot of you guys out there underestimate this. You don't know how to dress if you're wearing sweatpants 75% of the time, and girls that are worth their salt are gonna pick up on that - at least, they should. That's a lesson for another day though) So anyway, we make it to my car, I put our stuff up in the trunk and whatnot, and then we take off. Nothing special's going on at this point. Eris starts talking about some random shit... Something to do with .. Her job, or something like that? I think? Something dealing with her work shift? She was a waitress at this restaurant or whatever.. I always make it a point to give someone my full attention when they're talking, but it's not easy when you're driving a 5-speed manual. If memory serves me right, I made a comment like "Look on the bright side - a few weeks from now, you're gonna be better than me at painting, seriously" I think she smiled at that or something. I was watching the road, so I can't say for certain. She kept on talking after that about whatever, and I kept on listening. Which was cool with me, I guess. I listened and whatnot, asked her questions and stuff, kept her going - until this song came on''''' Now, it's worth mentioning that I never, ever, listen to the radio. I do the old-fashioned method of using CDs. Do you guys know how you come across a song that you really like, and it sort of becomes your favorite song for like 2-3 days? Well, that week, that was the case with me and [url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpQsL8Q6_t8]Friends[/url]. That day, I had a CD in the radio that I'd burned. (One way I used to make money at school was by selling CDs) It had several different MCs on it and Benefit was one of them, I had like 3 of his songs - Friends, Something Wicked This Way Comes, and Behold. But - If you've heard this Friends song before, then you've heard the 2nd verse on it. The one where he starts talking about how he went to this girl's house... Well, when the song came on, I turned the volume up absentmindedly and told her this was my favorite track/ I could relate to it. Like I said, it was my Song of the Week. So, at first, Eris didn't really have anything to say - I mean, she knew that I almost exclusively listened to hip hop - but before the 2nd verse came on, she asked me "I thought rappers talk about how they beat up other people?" I was like damn. "Well some of em like to tell the truth in their songs I guess" So when the next verse came on, it hit me that 1) Eris doesn't really like hip hop, 2) Eris doesn't like cursing/curse words because she's a [i]devout[/i] Christian, 3) Eris lives in an apartment, and I'm driving her to it, [i]and[/i] I told her that I could relate to this song. That's what you call a triple-whammy. Normally,

>Be me >Be 13 >Goes to movies (alone) >Hunger.jpeg >Goes to food >Girl working there >selfconfidenceactivates.jpeg >"Hi" (girl) >"I'm good" (me) [i]I mean... uh... hi...[/i] >lifesdoneitsovergoodbye.jpeg

Can someone give me an advice? I think I really need advice. Lately, I have noticed that my girlfriend has had lots of calls on her phone, and when I ask who is it, she always hangs it up quickly. She said it's one of her friends/business contacts. I also noticed that recently she gets home late, and when I ask why was she late, she always tells me that she went overtime because of her team building meeting. When I checked her slip, she had no overtime pay. I was a bit surprised since as far as I know, they didn't haven't had any team building meetings since 3 months ago. So, I went to her boss and asked about this, but her boss said that they only did team building meetings once a year with her co-workers (which confirms that I was right). Even worse, she was absent on that meeting, and her boss told me that she has missed multiple work days. The next day, she went out and told me she'll be attending her "urgent team building meeting", so, keeping a distance, I followed her with my motorbike. Not far away from our place, a man fetched her in his car. I stopped my motorbike from a distance to make sure they won't hear me and observed them. When they were going to drive away, I was about to follow then but when I tried to start the engine, it died on me. So I want to ask for advice, where would the problem be? Is it the spark plug that caused the starting to fail, or is it on the main engine? The clutch, perhaps? Please give me a good advice. Thanks for noticing.

Back in middle school she I had no abs well I liked a girl in 8th grade and we were like close to each other until I started liking her I don't check her out of anything on Instagram you just like the person photos so you won't be a ghost follower that's the point in bombing and liking people's feed right? She thought I was stalking her I just comment her feed that it was artsy like how I do to many other instagrammers out there and like she went about and told everyone in the school after the fact I asked her out with roses and got friend zoned well it made my year like shit. I'm just a nice guy and everyone knows it for a fact. It's high school now 3 yrs later after the incident I have a six pack showing an 8 pack with a v cut and now she's staring at me she tries to talk to me every single day but nope I'm over hear like yeah sure or like uhm okay and little did she know I'm just a year younger than her that skipped a grade like I'm a sophomore that is suppose to be a freshman making her feel more guilty but after that we drifted still seeing her check me out everyday I'm over hear like I gave you a chance and you made my 8th grade feel like shit so y should I bother and a day later she sees me going out with my first gf in our freshmen year but it didn't end up pretty well to and then it's a year later now presently I just broke up well she broke it off with my second gf because we figured to be friends now I'm on to my third one now and yet she still stares at me and yeah I'm a sophomore now still have that one girl who treated me like shut cyber bullied me talking about guts with v cut I used to think it as impossible until I join Football and Rugby to overcome the impossible now she's staring at me I don't regret not dating at her at all even dropping that chance fvck I'm also glad the two of us drifted as well I may be kinda harsh but even tho I forgive it may seems like I forget but I don't

It's currently going on. It's very complicated but basically I asked out a girl I like a lot, she basically said she wasn't looking to date at the moment. Things have been very awkward since and it's killing me.