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2/18/2016 8:07:23 PM
270
How To Be A (Dumb) Raider 101
1: When you die, always remember to scream "What the -blam!-!?" in a confused manner. When your teammates ask what happened, tell them it was lag, or a glitch. It's [i]never[/i] your own fault. [i]Ever.[/i]
2. If you're a hunter, you are born with the ability to solo totems by default. No, seriously. You can totally solo totems.
3. When your team tells you to wipe, continue shooting at the mobs and doing the encounter. Show them that you got this.
4. Every single time you die, tell your team you're going outside to take a smoke break.
5. After you defeat Atheon, remember to tell your team to prepare for Xylar.
6. You don't need to know what counter clockwise is. Trust me.
7. Destiny is an FPS. You don't need to know how to platform.
8. Always start a raid 30 miniutes before dinner. You can totally finish it by then.
9. Your raid team would absolutely [b][u][i]LOVE[/i][/u][/b] to hear your favorite songs.
10. If you're a Defender, always place your bubble in front of the team, so they can see it.
11. Make sure you're red barring. The Darkness hates lagswitchers.
Now, get out there and raid!
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1 ReplyChips and crackers are the perfect snack for raid time. Smoke your bong loud and proud! Everyone else just *wishes* they could be getting baked while playing! Remember to leave your mic on when you go to the bathroom. Your team will be "relieved" to know how you relieve yourself.
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13. If you do not receive the loot you want make sure you tell your fire team how dissatisfied you are and how disgusted you are of the raid. If one of your fireteam members find the item you needed.. make sure you tell them how much they are not worthy of the item you wanted.
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1 Reply100. Make sure to complain on the forums if you're "Little Miss Perfect"
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5 RepliesI had an idiot Titan last night that popped his bubble right in front of us when Oryx opened his chest for the last time. We detonated ALL 16 orbs perfects, and then some idiot screwed it all up.
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1 ReplyHow about, always assume you're the most experienced one in the group, and make sure to teach everyone everything. Picked up an lfg last night for death singers and oryx. He proceeded to instruct us how to raid, even though we've done everything countless times. He also died first every single time, that ship kept getting him. First time since my first Oryx raid that we didn't finish.
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You forgot , adjust your mic so its right underneath your nose we all want to make sure you're still breathing.
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I'd rather be a womb raider
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I eat hard pretzels the entire raid. On weekends I eat Fritos.
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1 Replyafter detonating the 16 orbs at oryx run around your pillar as if the light blast is going to get you
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1 Reply12. Make sure you're smoking a lot of pot, so your hand-eye coordination and puzzle solving skills improve as the raid goes on.
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Don't forget about being the grumpy person that pisses off the person carrying. I left a raid earlier in the week and I checked stats afterwards to find out they wiped for 4 hours straight after I left after we 1-shot each boss while I was in there.. It put a huge giant smile on my face.
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6 so true... Also, 11 so true... ALL SO TRUE!
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And you can be like me and be absolutely horrible at being torn and jumping and "OFFER" your spot up as soon as GoGo is dead on the way to sisters.
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Edited by alghasfohsafovah: 2/19/2016 6:43:25 PMAlso, make sure to always ask for the Chalice when you lose any health at all. If your health drops a sliver, it doesn't matter.
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Always, always go left or right. Never learn each side or each job during the raid.
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8 Replies#12- constantly ask if the team can go patrol because you ran out of ammo. No joke, I've run into this. I dropped out quickly.
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1 Reply#12 Have a high pitched voice, never stop talking. And tell everyone on your fireteam how much sex you had with their mother.
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get invited to a hard raid and come in wearing your best pvp gear and the flawless emblem you got from that 1 time you got carried to the lighthouse like it is relevant or impressive to pve players.
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3 RepliesEdited by Athos SD: 2/19/2016 5:45:22 PMWhat Bravecole really means by this post..." Hey guys , I have to create these stupid posts because it's the only outlet I have for attention, My parents hugged me too much and unfortunately I believe I am the best at everything and can do no wrong. Please like my post because I'm still a Virgin and I wanna get laid. K THANKS. Edit: had to put the name in so everybody knew who we were talking about. lol
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2 RepliesI swear to god Destiny is overflowing with the "I'll be right back" players that NEVER come back.
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Or, wait till it is the first week of hard mode, you are at Oryx, you have given it a couple tries, then when asked why you aren't rocketing the centurion, say "I don't have any synths". then when your team asks you, YOU, a seasoned vanilla veteran, to with withdraw them with your app, say "I don't have any in my vault. And I don't have any Glimmer." Then when I, CHIA PETE, THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN APPARENTLY PLATFORM TAKES OVER FOR [u]YOU[/u], FALL IMMEDIATELY ON YOUR FIRST TRY, AND SAY "I've never done the platforms before." you have no ToM, no Eirene/100kys (you wanted the shotgun twice for some reason)/Black Spindle. NOT EVEN RUIN WINGS. Then, when I am too polite to kick you, START TELLING OTHERS WHAT THEY ARE DOING WRONG. Then, when we somehow get to final phase, spill Mountain Dew on your controller. Of course always being the guy to die to the Shade is implied.
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Edited by Say When: 2/19/2016 5:51:02 PMSay "I'm in" when teleported to the shade.
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Don't run to the orbs on detonation "Get ammo" when shade bubble is popping Jump on platforms wrong
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12. Guys I did not have unstable light, I know myself and the gaze grabber are the only 2 left alive but I SWEAR IT WAS NOT ME!!!! there was a glitch on the feed and my screen didn't flash green, I'm going to orbit.
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4 RepliesWarlocks not equipping self-res cuz its for sissies
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Edited by cellar dweller: 2/19/2016 5:10:59 PMwrite on LFG that you are a fully experienced 100 time raider then say that you are bad at taking gaze or are only used to doing plate 3
