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2/18/2016 8:07:23 PM
270
How To Be A (Dumb) Raider 101
1: When you die, always remember to scream "What the -blam!-!?" in a confused manner. When your teammates ask what happened, tell them it was lag, or a glitch. It's [i]never[/i] your own fault. [i]Ever.[/i]
2. If you're a hunter, you are born with the ability to solo totems by default. No, seriously. You can totally solo totems.
3. When your team tells you to wipe, continue shooting at the mobs and doing the encounter. Show them that you got this.
4. Every single time you die, tell your team you're going outside to take a smoke break.
5. After you defeat Atheon, remember to tell your team to prepare for Xylar.
6. You don't need to know what counter clockwise is. Trust me.
7. Destiny is an FPS. You don't need to know how to platform.
8. Always start a raid 30 miniutes before dinner. You can totally finish it by then.
9. Your raid team would absolutely [b][u][i]LOVE[/i][/u][/b] to hear your favorite songs.
10. If you're a Defender, always place your bubble in front of the team, so they can see it.
11. Make sure you're red barring. The Darkness hates lagswitchers.
Now, get out there and raid!
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12. Make sure to scream "ENRAGE IS NEAR" as if your team mates can't read as well.
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- Always blame someone else in the team, if you die. - Always demand an explanation to why anyone else dies.
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Number 8 every single raid I'm in. There's always that one guy that has to go eat
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Position your mic directly under your nose so everyone can hear
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12. If u get kicked from the raid send them a message saying " good luck finishing the raid scrubs as u just kicked the best player from the team "
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12. Eat chips in 5 other people's ear
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When staggering Oryx, nothing is more effective then a sidearm. NOTHING.
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I have over 200 raid completions and still haven't played with someone who left for a smoke break more than once. I must be really lucky lol!
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Pve needs vanguard narration
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Please demand that your whole raid team is over 300 light and have touch and black spindle even though you're not and have neither.
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4 RepliesEdited by sergeantsnipes05: 2/19/2016 10:37:26 PMLegit though, when I die it does tend to be a strange glitch. Like getting killed when teleporting OUT of the shade phase. The platforming issues people still have drive me crazy
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12. Ask your group if they all have a gjallarhorn, you can't beat the raid without it.
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1 Reply12. Don't forget to snack on chips and carrots during the raid, be sure to vape if that's your thing.
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2 RepliesAlways use your hammer of sol on golgoroth.
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Not going to lie, I'm guilty of just about all of these at some point or another.
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Edited by Fal Chavam: 2/20/2016 12:59:32 AM12. Eat your mic. Make absolutely sure everyone can hear you.
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When jumping the tomb ships always try to be as close to teammates as possible, you never interrupt their jumps.
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You forgot to check every cliffbottom for treasure chests.
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And this is why I don't do Kings Fall anymore. The amount of bad players I dealt with just gave me too much stress.
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12. Tell everyone EXACTLY WHAT YOU GOT EVERY SINGLE TIME.
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Like this community needs a guide lol.
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As the raid party leader, Make sure you plan accordingly to go take a bath in the middle of the Golgoroth fight.
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16. If they mute you, simply hack the Bungie loot system to insure nothing but White Engrams (Year 1 flashback) to your fellow raiders while you get 5 exotics per boss kill. Then watch in sorrow as all your exotic engrams turn out to be the same thing: Peregrine Greaves
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As the runner fall off the jumping platforms and say one of the plates wasn't activated :3
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Blame somebody else as the reason you died, was so funny the other day doing totems and the knight came out backwards so we start sniping it, i gave it 2 shots but had to run to the middle i get there and the guy that was on the plate with me dies and starts having this massive go at me saying i should have killed the knight before i left i start laughing coz he had died like 10 times before always something different
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Always allow the last member who joins the team.. to jump in and tell everyone what he is and isn't going to do.. and what your new roles are now that he has graced you with his help
