-Be 19 -Living in my college town -Doing school things -Works at IHOP -Because college town, pancake joint be swinging -A group of four guys come in every night -Three are nice and tip well -One asshole -Asshole always gets six pancakes -After two months of dealing with them cannotdeal.jpg -Asshole's magnitude far outweighs his friends' likability -Slowly developing cancer from asshole radiation -He seems like he hasn't mentally evolved yet -Likely bordering retard status -Huge muskills though -Instead of going for direct confrontation, I make a decision -I am slowly and methodically going to -blam!- his mind -Every night, one pancake gets more penis-like in nature -About 4-6 degrees on the floppy Johnson every day -realslowlike.gif -Because I introduce the dickcake slowly he doesn't notice for awhile -I watch happily and giddily as he chokes the cockcake down -It begins to be the centerpiece of my day -He finally notices after it is a straight up honkin' dick -Added whipped cream at the end of the blueberry urethra -Theresastormcoming.jpg -One fateful night I personally deliver the dickcake -He looks me dead in the face and asks me -"Hey," *Deciphers nametag (Letters hurt him)* "A-an-no-on, Anon What is this shit?" -idontknow.jpg -"You better start talking or I'll talk to your manager." -Manager... We'll refer to him as "C" -C is my best friend -dastardlyplot.jpg -"I'll go get him for you -blam!- sir." -I sneak in " -blam!-" because I'm feeling extra alpha -He notices, not happy -I approach C and explain everything -He rotflmaobbqs all of it, every detail -He is in on the conspiracy now -Props to C for his improv work - He sneaks in about nine penis related puns into his talk with asshole -*Paraphrasing* "Sir, we don't just dick around back here. My employees didn't mess with your junk. You need more evidence than one penis shaped pancake" -Other tables hear and enjoy giggles -I'm dying in the kitchen -Asshole scowls, pays, and walks out -getlawyered.jpg -No way this mother-blam!-er will come back tomorrow -Just in case, C gets everyone on our shift in on it --blam!-er comes back -Sits in different zone so he doesn't need to deal with me -Doesn't matter -This was our night to bring hundreds of Phallic references into culinary form -An army of workers ready to bring penis into every open conversation -We were armed and ready -It was no ordinary penis assault -This was the All Hallows Eve of cock -All us workers replaced our nametags with a penis reference -Chuck, Dick, Peter, Johnson, and the asian busboy? Dong -We all stuffed to front of our pants with socks to give a noticeable bulge -We plan the attack in waves -Phase one begins -"Johnson" takes orders waving bulge in assholes face -Asshole's order: Mother -blam!-ing Pancakes -fool.jpg -Cue "Dick" -He brings drinks, spilling asshole's on his cock region -Total improv -"Dick" furiously cleans his pants inches form asshole's face -Uproar in the kitchen -Other tables are getting shitty service this evening -#Worth -Two more waves pass -Asshole stands -Kitchen goes silent -He walks to the kitchen -Dohshit -TROOLINTHEDUNGEON.gif -We scatter -C takes over and calms him down -Should have been a counselor -Commence final wave -Asshole had seen "Dong" clean up "Dick's" spill and had caught wind of out nametags after that -I stroll out -He looks pissed as -blam!- -I hand him not one, but six straight up cocks, no disputing -Bacon pubes, Cherry herpes, Whipped cream jizz -My nametag for this evening? -Penis -He rages and punches me cold -Wake up in the hospital -All employees standing around my bed -Wake up to applause -Broken nose -Still #Worth -Never see asshole again -From that point on, we where know as IHOC -International House Of Cock

( *・ω・)✄╰ひ╯ SWIGGITY SWESTICLE CUT THIS KIDS TESTICLES Well then...

Everybody loves pot brownies, but as soon as I bring crystal meth cupcakes to a party, suddenly I'm the weirdo....

My doge

. ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ 　　Ｙ　 Ｙ /\ / 　 ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ） ＼ ｜　 つ　 ヽつ Pikalenny shall be my guide!

Need 2 at sisters gt same as above

I have been sick all week and was wondering if you could send me any work that I will need to make up that I can do so from home. Thank you Damnit I'm screwed

[spoiler][quote][quote]░▄▀▄▀▀▀▀▄▀▄░░░░░░░░░ ░█░░░░░░░░▀▄░░░░░░▄░ █░░▀░░▀░░░░░▀▄▄░░█░█ █░▄░█▀░▄░░░░░░░▀▀░░█ █░░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░█░░▄▄░░▄▄▄▄░░▄▄░░█░ ░█░▄▀█░▄▀░░█░▄▀█░▄▀░ ░░▀░░░▀░░░░░▀░░░▀░░░Help this dog take over Bungie.net by copying and pasting this dog every where[/quote][/quote][/spoiler]

http://youtu.be/JbpgM-JTang

[Kid Cudi] (Lord of the Sad and Lonely) Won't you tell me who is; the supreme leader Still want to use like I'm not a human eater Move and groove, make the bitch linger Want more than the dick, gold on the ring finger Not the one who wanna play dumb, see I'm from Cleveland bitch I'm up in the hills still keep it way trill And most wanna relax, someone tell me how that feel I say that loud until I go an pop this pill I say out loud 'you wanna let me cop a feel?' Now I pray out loud but I know my god ill Bounce with me If you don't give a -blam!- simply Fed up won't let up on the overtime The more I work, the more they wanna sweat mine I can feel those lames they love to speak my name Sometimes dreams of breakin -blam!- whole faces And -blam!- the precinct, ain't scared of catchin’ cases Sky might fall, but I ain't worried at all Got me some xannies and a couple adderall Plus these racks up on the strippers at the mall With the spirit of god and some Gandalf balls Lord of the sad and lonely And the ones that feel like shit on the daily Don't let these phony -blam!- and hoes Be the ones that bring you low Let it be from the fatigue from making a pussy plead All of the things I've seen and survived Make a -blam!- feel way more than just alive You know my name you know my face All hail King Wizard in your mother-blam!-ing space You love it [Hook:] Yep, yep, yep Lord of the sad and lonely Yep, yep, yep Lord of the sad and lonely And the ones that feel like shit on the daily I got you, you love it [Verse 2] Now I can show you how to make a new Domingo Dean In a way in which this universe has never seen I feel the tension when I'm struttin' in my Prada boots Check with my fresh, if you want I can style you My profession is to wild you, -blam!- How you not better than me listen I swear to Jesus I feel like Baby back in 99 In the SLS stunting and it's all mine Shitting on these -blam!- sipping on some Swiss Kriss I got jewelry that is sitting on my sick wrist My liver -blam!-ing up my floor, see I'm getting pissed Work too damn hard here for the shenanigans Don't hang around bums And that's how I went fe fi fo fum Haters are doing dumb things No fun, no jokes, no smile Just a grin that suggest I'm the best Living like I got a mother-blam!-ing pump on my left At all times So many kids live their life through my rhymes See I'm in love with you all to the end When shit was dark for me you were my only friends On the realer So smoke some tree for your -blam!- Ain't nobody got my bounce, know my juicy ounce Walk in rooms and -blam!-boys close their mouth The Cud life, you know what we about Lord of the Sad and Lonely

https://youtu.be/TZCfydWF48c

http://youtu.be/g-sgw9bPV4A

предательская сволочь

black country flag

http://youtu.be/Bp52xVDtCt0

kareen'ahm la ahmahm yut. lyrr ist ahm fzys syzygy. kaar est drache macht

I guarantee that they will never see this coming

The Clone Wars is the only kiddy show I know that (technically) ends with the kiddy protagonist brutally slaughtering the kiddy villains.

(>^-^)>

[spoiler]THE GIRL I LIKE IS OUT OF MY LEAGUE![/spoiler]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

https://isotropic.org/papers/chicken.pdf