Chewing gum

[quote]The cries of seagulls filled the evening sky. It was a peaceful moment. Water slowly lapped at the shore, leaving behind small, barely noticeable imprints on the soft sand. John basked in the orange glow of the setting sun. Nothing in the whole world could compete with this, he thought. It was beautiful. The ball of fire keeping the entire planet alive fell behind the horizon, almost as if it was slowly dying. He heard a twig snap, and quickly turned his head. A small orange crab scurried through the brush. Man, that startled me! He was scared almost too easily. As John's head turned back towards the view, he spotted a glare of light bouncing from a single point along the shore. John curiously stood up and bounded over to the light. It was a small glass bottle, a cork shutting off its contents from the world. Inside was a letter, bearing a fine stamp. As if it was destiny, John backed up onto the handle of a corkscrew. Dumbfounded, he picked up the corkscrew. With one movement of his wrist, he stabbed the corkscrew into the top of the cork and began to twist. A snap sounded as the cork popped from the bottle, followed by a gust of old-smelling air. John turned the glass bottle over to let the note fall into his hand. As he set the bottle down, he inspected the stamp further. It was engraved with a cursive "H". I wonder who wrote this, he thought. John broke the seal and opened the letter, careful not to crack the brown, aged paper. It read: "Join The Ham Hotel, Bitch." The End[/quote]

I woke up outside my hotel room knocking on another rooms door

A cat's butt on my face... The scars are still there.

Went to sleep in my bed. Woke up on my couch down stairs...... Weird sh!t man.

A deer nudging at my head through the front of my tent. I thought it was a bear. I didn't sleep the rest of the night.

First would be waking up in another town still off my face with no recollection of getting there. Ah good times....well I think they were lol. Second would be waking up to some wanker punching me because I did something the night before drunk. He stopped when I woke up I didn't clue on till someone said something later and apparently he was doing it for a while and I was just like but I don't wanna get up yet. Lol yes I am a deep sleeper when hungover. Needless to say I rarely drink anymore because shit gets outta hand more often then not lol.

A wild pigs snout in my face at 3:00 am while camping

a huge White Tail Spider (venomous australian spider) on the wall right next to me. or a bunch of tissues in my underwear and not remembering when i put them in there...

House flooded

Face down on the carpet to a burgundy colored stain

I've woken up in an open field and under a bridge before

I was in the army and we'd been out on the beer. I had a dream we'd come back and i'd pissed in one of the lads lockers. Woke up to someone shouting at me. Turns out it wasn't a dream.