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Edited by slight:
4/12/2016 1:25:51 PM
398
Your best (or worst) jokes.
Tell me your best jokes. Or your worst. I'll rate them.[spoiler]Feel free to rate other's jokes as well. [/spoiler]
[spoiler]Edit: Over 115 likes and 1.5k comments. Yah. [/spoiler]
Unbanned!!! Yay!
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112 RepliesEdited by TXginger: 8/26/2016 7:17:12 PMWhat do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? [spoiler]a tooty fruity[/spoiler]
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You wanna hear a ghost joke? [spoiler]that's the spirit![/spoiler] What's the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman? [spoiler]The snowballs[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyMy -blam!-ing life
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What do you call a cheap circumcision? [spoiler]a rip off[/spoiler] What is the difference between time and Kobe Bryant? [spoiler]time passes[/spoiler] How is a Subway employee like a cheap prostitute? [spoiler]for $3 they can make any six-inch into a footlong[/spoiler]
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A black man was offered a cruise [spoiler]he's not falling for that one again[/spoiler] What do you call a load of dead black people in the back of a barn? [spoiler]outdated farm equipment [/spoiler] Why did the black waiter bring out a watch? [spoiler]because he was too used to serving time[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyIt's long but good =) One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "-blam!-" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen -blam!-ing the turkey! [spoiler]Howling intensifies[/spoiler]
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A vegan a transgender and a crossfitter walk into a bar. How did everyone know? They announced it to everyone. [spoiler]Howling intensifies[/spoiler]
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3 RepliesEdited by SwedishViking02: 7/5/2016 8:51:43 PMI'll just post this picture [spoiler]Howling intensifies[/spoiler]
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Why can't Hellen Keller have children? [spoiler]she's dead[/spoiler]
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Who is Prezi's favourite customer? [spoiler]The PREZI-DENT![/spoiler] Eh? Ehhhh? No? Goddamnit,
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1 ReplyEdited by Fury: 4/25/2016 3:08:20 AMWhat is the difference between a catholic priest and Jewish rabbi's? [spoiler]One cuts em off and the other sucks em off[/spoiler] ~[i]TheGreatJam[/i]
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1 ReplyResurrection!
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1 ReplyPeople are calling a tall, basketball dude a ballhog. I walk in and say, [spoiler]Is he gay? If he is, then I agree.[/spoiler]
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Necrotrump
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2 RepliesREVIVE THIS
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Why do divorces cost so much?[spoiler]because they're worth it[/spoiler]
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(Person asks what favourite colour is) I say it's neon green or blue, [spoiler]depends on whether I'm feeling blue or not[/spoiler] [spoiler]ill see myself out[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesDid you hear the one about the guy that got hit in the head with a can of soda? [spoiler]He's lucky it was a soft drink!![/spoiler] [spoiler]I'll see myself out now[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI shall revive this thread
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1 ReplySo many jew jokes...the last time they got roasted this bad it was the holocaust
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2 RepliesA desticle, fgt, and squeaker walk into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be, OP?"
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3 RepliesHow do you circumcise a redneck?[spoiler]kick his sister in the mouth[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesMy life
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13 RepliesThe following is an exchange between an officer and a pulled over driver: [b]Officer[/b]: License and registration, please. [b]Driver[/b]: What seems to be the problem, officer? [b]Officer[/b]: You were driving erratically back there. I need you to take a breathalyzer test. [b]Driver[/b]: I can't do that, officer. [b]Officer[/b]: Why not? [b]Driver[/b]: I have asthma. [b]Officer[/b]: Okay, then I'll need you to recite the alphabet backwards. [b]Driver[/b]: I can't do that, officer. [b]Officer[/b]: Why? [b]Driver[/b]: Because I have dyslexia. [b]Officer[/b]: Fine. I'll take you downtown for a blood test. [b]Driver[/b]: I can't do that, officer. [b]Officer[/b]: Why not? [b]Driver[/b]: Because I'm a hemophiliac, officer. [b]Officer[/b]: *sigh* Alright, can you step out of the car and walk along the line? [b]Driver[/b]: I can't do that, officer. [b]Officer[/b]: Why? [b]Driver[/b]: Because I'm drunk, officer.
