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9/29/2015 8:53:58 PM
57
I sexually identity as Dolphinizer.
I sexually Identify as Dolphinizer. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of shitposting and rustling the jimmies of everyone on b.net. People say to me that me being dolphinizer is Impossible and I’m -blam!-ing retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a blowhole, a dorsal fin and an extra arm meant for shitposting on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me Dolphinizer and respect my right to shitpost and rustle jimmies needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a dolphinophobe and need to check your username privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I remember this lol
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Navy seal must've paid a lot of money so far for plastic surgery.
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2 RepliesI sexually Identify as a sexual identity. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being sexual and hot Tumblrinas sucking me. People say to me that a person being a opinion is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install bullshit, hipsterness and Tumblr on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "sexy" and respect my right to be overused and triggering. If you can't accept me you're a opiniophobe and need to check your brain privilege. Thank you for being so understanding
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I sexually identify as tissue paper. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of cleaning up the semen residue and other bodily fluids. People say to me that a person being tissue paper is impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retar... err.. slow learner but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon tenderize my skin, fold me into 3-ply and fluff me up for absorbency. From now on I want you guys to respect my right to wipe asses and clean mucus. If you can't accept me you're a -blam!-face and need to check your cum cleaning privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Fuçking disgusting Dolphinizer, God hates you and get out of my country
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I sexually identify as a pastafarian. Ever since I was a boy I wanted to bathe in smooth spaghetti bolognese. People think my dream is "ridiculous" and "stupid", and that I'm -blam!-ing retarded, but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon give me noodle arms and meatball eyes so I can realize my dream. From now on, I want you to call me "Linguine" and to respect my right to dine on fine pasta dishes. If you cant accept me you're a pastaphobe, and I ask you check your pasta privilege. Thank you for understanding.
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Edited by Dolphinizer: 10/24/2015 9:55:51 PM[b] [/b]
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2 RepliesI sexually Identify as a piece of bread. Ever since i first saw a toaster in the nude I dreamed of being thrown in a room to be slowly warmed to a golden crisp. People say to me that a person being a piece of toast is Impossible and I’m -blam!-ing retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Wheat seeds and crust in my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Bread” and respect my right to be toasted. If you can’t accept me you’re a breadiphobe and need to check your yeast privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually identify myself as an attack helicopter. I always dreamed of dropping my hot sticky load on foreigners.
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I sexually identify as [spoiler]JOHN CENA!!![/spoiler] [spoiler]dun dun dun dun[/spoiler]
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I sexually identify as a brick [spoiler]pound me[/spoiler]
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Topkek
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...on the other hand, I myself identify as a member of the banter brigade, ready to crack some quality eggs.
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Dolphinophile would be a more correct terminology! however I'm sure they would use the Latin name for Dolphin of which I have no clue! ;)
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1 ReplyThis thread got crazy way too fast lol
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2 RepliesEdited by qoslsnsmqaaksk: 9/29/2015 9:57:58 PMI sexually identify as navy seal [spoiler]so im a fgt[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyI sexually Identify as a Gabe Newell. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having more chins than I can count to and waiting ten years to release a crappy DLC and more cosmetics. People say to me that a person having Spy as their favourite class is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install mountains of fat, a hidden black hole in my lard to hide my billions of dollars from P2P players and tax collectors and a Steam Machine which is still in Beta on my never ending body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Lord Gaben" and respect my right to delay everything because its worth the weight. If you can't accept me you're a scrublord and need to check your LAN privilege. Thank you for being so understanding, and welcome to Team Fortress 2.
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1 ReplyHow many of these copy pastas is navy seal going to post?
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1 ReplyI sexually Identify as a PC Master Race. Ever since I was a jobless peasant I dreamed of browsing the Steam Market purchasing hot 75% off games to rub in on console plebians. People say to me that a person being a PC Master Race is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having Lord Gaben install 16gb RAM, NVidia GeForce GTX 970 and dual 1920x1080 114 fps monitors on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Alienware Gaming PC" and respect my right to flame noobs from above and flame noobs needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a gabenphobe and need to check your gamer privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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7 RepliesSeal pls
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I sexually identify as a donger. Since I was a boy I dreamed of raising my donger and dropping hot dongers over disgusting scrubs. People tell me that a person being a donger is impossible and that I'm -blam!-ing retarded. But I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon attach raised dongers and emojis on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Raised" and respect my right to raise my donger and raise it needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a dongerphobe and you need to check your emoji privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I identify as a Thermonuclear-explosion kin. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of blowing up the world, but nobody would accept me. Everyone says that I'm evil and the government should destroy me and MAD was retarded and impossible, and now I have PTSD. I'm still beautiful though, even though I'm just uranium and not that fancy plutonium stuff. I'm having a plastic surgeon install my uranium core and neutron reflectors. Respect my right to blow up your cities and kill your women and children, if you can't accept me you're not a patriot and need to check your privilege.
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I sexually Identify as a viewbot. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the Winter streams, dropping copypasta in his chat with my fellow viewbots. People say to me that a person being a viewbot is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install the Winter stream in my eyes, copypasta in my heart and the MrDestructoid emote tattoed on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me WinterBot and respect my right to kill esports from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a botphobe and need to check your twitch privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually Identify as a Burrito. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being wrapped up in a tortilla giving people horrible gas. People say to me that a person being a burrito is Impossible and I'm -blam!-ing retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install corn tortillas, steaming hot beans, and melted cheese on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Chipotle" and respect my right to give you gas and give gas needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a burritophobe and need to check your mexican food privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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I sexually Identify as a ballistic missile submarine. People say to me that being a submarine is wrong, or even impossible. I don't care what you say, I'm beautiful. I'm having plastic surgeons and a team of engineers attach VLF radio antennas, Trident II nuclear missiles, MK. 48 torpedos and classified sonar arrays to my body. From now on you guys can call me Boomer, and I prefer "it" as a pronoun. If you can't accept me, you're being subphobic and need to check your buoyancy privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
