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9/12/2015 6:08:25 AM
2
I read it all so couldn't have been that bad :) in honesty it's good my only criticism would be some of the descriptive stuff but overall I enjoyed it :)
English
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Thank you for reading, and for the feedback and compliment. Is it too detailed, do you think? I don't want to lose the reader.
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Edited by XxPaRaN01AxX: 9/14/2015 2:20:02 PMNo I'm used to styles like tolkeins (really descriptive) I'd say it needs more in the way of exploring relation ship of characters ( in aware it's only a chapter) it would be interesting to see how the characters interact and how the relationships develop though the story for me though it's not too descriptive
