The traveler appears in our system and begins nonchalantly terraforming planets. We go to mars, to say "sup?" The Traveler is like "omg! Are you guys still using Windows? Lol Ima hook you up, with the new hotness." The traveler introduces IOS 29 with the new iPhone 42 A technological golden age begins on earth. During this same period, somewhere in space, a flashmob prank on the fallen home world, goes horribly awry. Everyone, on their planet simultaneously turns all ceiling, wall, and vehicle fans to high... at the same time. This results in the destruction of thier home planet. This cataclysmic (but hilarious) event is referred to, as the "whirlwind". Mankind develops faster than light travel. They immediately use this glorious new technology to colonize the sol system; with Toyota priuses. The war mind project is initiated. It is felt, that giving a group of sentient war computers, a vast array of doomsday weapons "is totally a great idea that couldn't possible go wrong." Only a few short years later: on the cabal home world of diebbyeetus... The cabal begin experimenting with a new super jetpack. Believed capable of lifting an entity the size of Donald Trumps ego into the air, this device is to usher in a new age of personal transportation. Sadly, this is not meant to be... The first test pilot (a particularly rotund cabal named fatamass ta'cake). Losses control of the prototype and slammes into the planet's largest fault line. The resulting impact creates a chain of seismic events that crack the planet. Traveler converts Detroit into a garbage pit. The city population actually increases. Some time later... or was it before. The vex intercept a television commercial broadcast signal, from ancient earth, about Windows 8. They immediately decide humanity is an afront to creation and must be erased from existence. Traveler just chills. Thinking bout traveler stuff. The hive king Oryx has an argument with his youngest son Crota about moving out of his basement realm and getting a job. Crota runs away from home, saying: "screw you dad! I'll go live on a moon or something" Back on earth a new street drug begins to make the rounds. Purported to provide super powers, "Light" spreads thru the club scene like wildfire. Authorities respond by indiscriminately arresting everyone under the age of 19. At this point the golden age has reached its height. Light leads to an increase in life span. A new form of A.I. is born... when the operating system, of a robotic humanoid assistant (iPhone 36s), becomes self aware. Siri-1 is the first exo. Vex ruins begin to appear, as if by magic, on multiple worlds. Curiously these ruins, when tested, show incredible age. Ishtar collective created to, quote: "get a handle on all this jinky vex nonsense" During their excavations a functioning vex drone is discovered near campus 13. The science complex of mars: Clovis bray is built. Inexplicably, Their motto was "give us your children". And no one noticed. A 30% increase in windowless van sales reported from Ford's mars division. While performing routine experiments, 6 ishtar scientists become trapped in a simulation; created by vex specimen 1. The scientists are rescued by war mind Rasputin. It is later discovered... The vex specimen copied the scientist minds (multiple times), before Rasputin could trap it, in an endless loop of candy crush invites. The colonization of the system intensifies. To meet demand the ghost city of pripyat is cleared of giant radioactive spiders, deathclaws, and jacked killer reindeer. The cosmodrome is built on the site. Mass production of shodily built colony ships begins immediately. (Accidental death rate hovers at 21% annually). President Cyberputin deemes this a triumph for all man kind! Ishtar collective launches bold plan to use scientist mind copies to infiltrate vex network (and possibly steal bandwidth). After scattering into violent high school cliques, with badass sounding names... the fallen discover earth. First contact is a disaster. Terran negotiators can't figure out which hand to shake, leading to mankind's first interstellar conflict. Fortunately the fallen get along as well as the kids from twighlight, and are promptly defeated by humanity. Roughly 24 years later a massive anomaly is detected in deep space, thanks to the hijacked vex WiFi network. In search of a massive supply of ductape to save their slowly splintering planet; cabal scouts discover the sol system. Early negotiations are favorable. In exchange for sweet jet pack technology, humanity offers the morbidly obese Roman space turtles, an endless supply of Wal-Mart's. Unfortunately the cabal discover turtle soup, gumbo, and strips... Second sol war erupts. Warminds defeat cabal by: "running away till they get tired, sweaty, and hungry... then give up." The anomaly in space begins to approach earth at tremendous speed. Vex launch a surprise attack on the hot garden world of mercury, converting the whole planet to Linux, in a matter of days. Considering mercury some of its "finest work, you jerks!" The traveler forcibly downloads all of pornhub, redtube, and brazzers; into the vex collective. Riddled with viruses and albino midget porn, the vex withdrawal to run anti-virus scans. The anomaly reaches sol; blocking the light from billions of stars. The people's of the solar system name it the darkness. The darkness hovers on the edge of the system for nearly a week, before deciding Pluto is a planet; vindicating the belief of millions. Then promptly destroys the planet. Besieged by this new horror and weary of the the last three wars a mass exodus from the planets begins. Sadly, the call to "run away like a bunch of sissy lalas" comes to late. In a sudden but inevitable betrayal... Rasputin and the other war minds just sort of runaway and hide. Leaving mankind and the traveler virtually defenseless. The darkness attacks earth as the "pansy fleet" makes for the edge of inhabited space. In an act of final desperation, the traveler reaches thru time and space, to seek the aid of earth greatest defenders. The heroes Chuck Norris, Sanjero Segata, and Mr. Rodgers take the brunt of the darkness' attack. The sheer force of that much epic manliness, in one place, creates a shockwave of pure weaponized awesome. It spreads thru the star system at relativistic speeds. In the process destroying thousands of space stations, satellites, cities, etc. And devastating the refugee fleet. This "testosterwave" gives thousands of robots a soul, vastly alters the genome of humans on earth, and (after mixing with the background radiation of space) gives birth to the Awoken: a race of super hot smurf people... who can kill you with their brains. The time of collapse begins. As the scattered survivors of earth begin to scape up the broken remnants of society the other races begin to invade the vacant world's left in the wake of our collapse. The newly born awoken begin to colonize the asteroid belt in secret. Forming the reef in hiding. The fallen land on Venus. Thankfully infighting among kells will keep them busy for centuries. As they fight over the scraps in the outer systems Ghost sightings begin on earth. Next the cabal arrive on mars. Fortunately they literally stumble on the vex (seriously they landed a drop ship on a conflux...) and fall head first into a war with the ancient machines. To protect the black garden, the vex pull it out of time, and jealously protect the black garden gate. Slowly, rumours of a settlement begins to spread across the earth. A place of safety. A place beneath the broken remnant of the traveler. Fallen raiding parties finally begin to reach earth. Ghosts begin to choose guardians from among the dead. This reanimation wipes the memory but grants tremendous strength, durability, and allows them to produce light in their adrenal glands. Granting certain individual super powers (without free baseing). Strangely everyone seems to be ok with the ghosts raising an army of virtually indestructible, superpowered amnesiac, battle zombies. The house of devils and kings attacks the unfinished defenses of the protocity. They are repelled by the first 6 titan orders. This conflict is referred to as the battle of six fronts. After years of survivor migration and construction... The shield walls are completed. The last human city is officially built. Crota and his entourage reach sol. They immediately settle on the moon. Because: "f$@k you dad!" Fallen forces, finally come together, when they realize the traveler may be able to fix the fallen home world. "And besides, the humans are just using it as a chandelier anyway" -Jerkiks Kell of house of douches. The battle of twilight gap begins. The kells are bad at war. The battle ends in a decisive victory for the city. The reef comes out of hiding by putting the house of wolves on blast. The city attempts to retake the moon from the hive. (because it's technically earth's attic and Crota's is several centuries behind on rent.) The army of undead, dark magic wielding, space squatters... proves surprisingly hard to evict. At this time Eris Morn meets Crota. The city decides they never really liked the moon that much anyway. They leave and decide they'll probably never come back. Eris Morn goes back. After successfully ditching her over protective friends; Eris hooks up with Crota. What follows is a whirlwind romance lasting several years. Relations between Eris and crota sour. Crota leaves Eris for omnighoul. Eris Morn returns to the city swearing violent murder vengeance against Crota. Edits: for grammar wording and missed events Thanks to everyone who suggested I make this a topic.