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originally posted in: Unpopular Selfie Thread ^.^
9/1/2015 11:57:40 AM
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Vroom vroom
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  • That's a sick sweatshirt. Where'd you get it(

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  • [b] [/b]

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  • I like your hoodie :D

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  • Thanks ^_^

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  • Shave.

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  • But I don't wanna. I wish I could grow a long majestic beard. But alas, I don't grow facial hair all that well. One day though, I shall have the most majestic beard there ever was.

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  • How do I grow a full lush beard? This is a wise question my son. To achieve true beard-hood you must take a journey. You must first travel to the wilds of Canada. Deep in the forest lies the temple of the lumberjacks. Do not fear. These men may be harsh and intimidating at first but their luscious wood stained beards hold much love for those who seek the true path. They will teach you the ways of strength and fortitude. This is necessary in order to grow a man's beard but your journey does not end there. The second place you must travel is the ancient homeland of bearded men. Ireland. Here the red beards and the long beards will teach you about the elixirs that help your beard grow. Be wary. These men do not take to seriousness well. Without a sense of humor they will destroy you with their ancient beards. You will not remember much here but do not fret it will stick with you. Their secrets and methods must remain hidden but those who experience it only grow in their beard-hood. Finally you must travel to the lands of Siberia. Here the beard is a necessity for life. Without its warm embrace the cold and arctic tundra will consume lesser men. Take heed they will not tolerate weakness. If you survive their first tests you will be ready for the final beard challenge. They will offer you no more help. Draw upon you knowledge from all the great beard philosophies and you will prevail. What is the final challenge you ask? Lesser men would flee from this task but not you. You have overcome great challenges and traveled far your beard will be ready. The final task is to kill a Siberian bear with you bare beard. This is what you must do to grow your own true beard. Your journey will help you grow it but also teach you the responsibility of beard-hood. Let your beard grow my son and teach others of the beard.

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  • That hoodie is so cosmic bro.

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  • Why thank you kind sir

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