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Edited by Jasondurgen: 8/23/2015 4:42:43 AM
7

SWEET JAYSUS

This turkey has you down, pinned against the ground. It's thrusting into you with the force of a brute, and you can't help but squeal a little. Nobody hears your cries for help, your pleas for the turkey to halt its forbidden action. All you can do is sit there and take it. Take it like the champ you were born to be. Rewind to 10 minutes prior to being seduced by the magnificent creature above. What did you do to get yourself in that position? EDIT: Get this to 100 replies to prove your loyalty to the turkey. He can see you coming and there's no point in hiding. He smells your raging hormones

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  • You're walking in the woods. There's no one around, And your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia Labeouf. He's following you About 30 feet back. He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint. He's gaining on you. Shia Labeouf. You're looking for your car, But you're all turned around. He's almost upon you now And you can see there's blood on his face! My god, there's blood everywhere! Running for your life (From Shia Labeouf.) He's brandishing a knife. (It's Shia Labeouf.) Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf. Living in the woods, (Shia Labeouf.) Killing for sport, (Shia Labeouf.) Eating all the bodies Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf. Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him, But you're hopelessly lost yourself. Stranded with a murderer, You creep silently through the underbrush. A-ha! In the distance, A small cottage with a light on. Hope! You move stealthily toward it, But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg, (Quiet, quiet.) Limping toward the cottage, (Quiet, quiet.) Now you're on the doorstep, Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf. Sharpening an ax, (Shia Labeouf.) But he doesn't hear you enter, (Shia Labeouf.) You're sneaking up behind him. Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf. Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf, Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf, Stab it in his kidney. Safe at last from Shia Labeouf. You limp into the dark woods, Blood oozing from your stump leg. But you have won. You have beaten Shia Labeouf

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    • I was trying to create a centaur. I thought that it would work with any animal.

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      • Bump for le sexy time with turkey

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        • Applied a ton of lube and fastened a ball gag around my mouth. It didn't seduce me. I tempted it with my body (;

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          • I didn't. I blew it's head off with a 12 Gauge shotgun and ate it for dinner.

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            • Not my proudest fap

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              • What the actual -blam!-

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