Sup all, I am going to share to the masses of my story of a Barium Enema. For those of you who don't know what an enema is, it's "the procedure of introducing liquids into the rectum and colon via the -blam!-" (wikipedia), and a barium enema is simply doing this with barium to get an x-ray of your large intestine. Pretty brutal stuff, but read on and enjoy! 10 - The Few. The Proud. The Penetrated. I am in the process of joining a minority amongst men. Tomorrow I will willingly be getting a shaft shoved up my ass and this shaft will squirt a translucent white liquid into my rectum. I am, of course, referring to the process of getting a barium enema. The preparation starts today and I will be logging my experience on here so that everyone will know how much it sucks to get a metal shaft rammed up the -blam!- sphincter. Sunday 12:00 noon - I open the Royvac Bowel Evacuant Kit and am suprised to see that the bulk of the container is a 296ml bottle of liquid. I wonder whether I have to drink it all at once. I am now not allowed to eat anything. Only clear fluids for the next 24 hours. 12:03pm - I discover that I do have to down the whole bottle at once as well as do a bunch of other things that I don't want to do. I drink 8 oz of water as instructed. 12:11pm - I take my first dump before I've ingested any of the contents of the Royvac Bowel Evacuant Kit. I begin wondering if this whole kit just uses psychology to make people think they have to -blam!- instead of actually doing anything. I really don't want to use that frig'n suppository. 12:25pm - I instinctively open the fridge to get a snack. Sadness washes over me as I realize that I still have 23 hours and 35 minutes before I can eat anything. 12:30pm - I down the 296ml bottle of Royvac Magnesium Citrate Oral Solution over ice. It tastes like water ...... with orange tang flavoured chalk put in it. 'A strong bowel cleansing action should be expected 3 to 6 hours after drinking this preparation' ...... wonderful. 12:36pm - I belch wondering if this will alter the effectiveness of the solution since I definately do not want to go through this -blam!- again (pun intended). 1:00pm - I drink another 8 oz of water as instructed. 2:39pm - I see a commercial for the DQ Meltdown burger. I want to cry due to lack of being able to eat. I am now scared to fart without being on the toilet both because I might -blam!- myself and because my farts now have the most disgusting smell they have ever had. Bathroom fan is a necessity. 2:50pm - I just took my second -blam!- of the day. It was like -blam!- water and smelled like no -blam!- I have ever taken. It smelled almost as if someone had added an orange tang flavoured chalk to my feces. I am convinced that the words 'strong bowel cleansing action' need to be replaced with 'violent liquid -blam!-'. 3:00pm - I have taken all 3 Royvac Bisacodyl tablets as instructed and wonder why they don't just make it into one bigger tablet. It still feels like I need to crap, even though I just went 10 minutes ago. 3:01pm - I run down the hall and take another -blam!-, even though I just went 11 minutes ago. This time it is literally a liquid -blam!-. If someone were to listen from outside they would think I was taking a piss. Whoever invented Royvac should be shot. I am no longer doubting whether the effects of Royvac are psychological or not. 4:05pm - Another liquid -blam!-. It's becoming more clear and less brown each time. 4:11pm - Another -blam!-. Colour trend continues. 4:33pm - -blam!- Burger King commercials are driving me insane. I know there are Doritos upstairs too. My mouth keeps watering. So damn hungry.