OP's definition of "jerk" is very different than mine. When I think "why would someone date a 'jerk' like that?" Im not thinking about the "jerk" that is romantically honest about their feels, in the positive light op describes. I'm thinking of the jerk who violently flips out over dumb, trivial things that don't even matter. Who cheats. Repeatedly, and obviously. Who doesn't have a job and doesn't care that they aren't contributing. Who spends all their money on drugs. Etc. You want to date someone like that? Tell you what. Fine go ahead. You don't owe me jack. Obviously. But 1) don't expect me to sit and listen to you "vent" about something you're not even motivated to fix. Endlessly. 2) don't expect me to get emotionally attached to you enough to feel pain when you inevitably ALLOW your life to get -blam!-ed in more ways than one, by someone who even Hellen Keller would have immediately noticed was an open festering sore on satans taint. When you make the choice to let a total scumbag be, literally, one of the biggest pillars of your life not only do I question your judgement but I pretty much accept that disaster is inevitable and that you won't let anyone save you. Notice this is gender neutral.