The other day I was strolling about the tower, you know how it is, 20 or so Strikes into the evening, shuffling between the Cryptarch and Kadi 55-30, hoping to snag something worthwhile from all those Rare Engrams, when it occurred to me; the large tree planted near Banshee, I had never seen anyone perched in it before. Feeling sullen from my lack of luck with the Destiny’s RNG – or more specifically grinding Dragon Strikes for a literal eternity with no Exotic drops all week – I sauntered up the stairs to conduct my Titan’s gaze into the boughs of red foliage. The artistic perception of some soul in Bungie’s Sleep Deprivation Tank made me linger on, noting the detail of the bark, the moss growing over the base, and the branches swaying in the virtual wind ever so lightly, raining crimson leaves down upon the grass and concrete. “I’m going to climb this thing”, I heard myself say aloud. With this now my resolve for the foreseeable evening, I looked over both my shoulders to make sure there were no other Guardians busy about the grounds. It’s not as if I wanted anyone to see me riding the struggle-bus should I fail upon my first attempt. With single-minded determination, I made my first jump. Spilling backwards, one attempt turned into four before I gained a solid foothold above the base, but this was still far from my goal. So I jumped again, this time moving for the middle of the trunk. The ground met my feet just as several words of ill repute left my mouth. “I’m going to climb this thing”, I told myself again, the ire rising in my voice ever so slightly. Straightening myself in my chair, teeth gnawing at my lip, I began again. One jump, good. Two jump, amazing. I am now where I lost my footing and in half the time, things are looking up. Three jump. I stand upon the precipice of fate; my eyes can see the porch woven between the branches, the Throne that will become my High Refuge. Three standard feet separate me from my domain, so I jump. I don’t remember what I said as my Titan went flailing like a sack of potatoes dropped from high altitude, but I do remember the sudden spray of saliva as my brain told my mouth to articulate the phonetical sound of the letter ‘F’ which began a long train of words that described my frustration. “I AM GOING TO CLIMB THIS THING.” The words became my solemn vow, the fate etched upon my grave. My determination, now fueled by my burning hatred for the tree and the designer who planted it there, was so strong that I felt as if the chambers of my heart would burst. To hasten the end of our tale, an hour and a half later my wife walks through the door. “What are you doing?” she asked, her head tilted ever so slightly the way women do when they don’t understand the finer points of gaming. As if there was anything to not understand about climbing a tree. “I am going to climb this thing”, the words arriving weak and sticking to my throat from the dissolution of my resolve. “Let me try”, she said plainly. THE NERVE! THE AUDACITY! How could she hope to understand this plight that I had been fighting? Even if by some miracle she did make it to the golden realm high above, would she even appreciate it? NO! “Sure”, I managed to mutter, all hope had faded and defeat was settling in. Taking the controller from my cold, dead, and sweaty hands, my wife, with the grace of a cat, leapt above the base. Another jump and she was at the middle. Starring on in quiet shock, my eyes followed her as she made it perfectly above the middle. She was there, three standard feet away from My Throne and it had only taken her one attempt. Bowing my head in disbelief, and humiliation, I sighed long and deep as She, without batting an eye, pranced herself into the top of the tree and proceeded to sit. So, what does any of this have to do with anything you ask? Simply put, don’t try so hard to climb the tree (Destiny is the tree). Believe me, even when you do make it to the top, and all the exotics and all the things you thought would be great about being at the top of the tree are yours to behold, you still won’t be happy. Instead, look at the tree, appreciate the hard work that went into making it, and remember that it is a game and a fun one at that. Cheers.