Courtesy of Geowgie (thanks for the twisted story). I was only 9 Years old. I loved SmoggyPluto so much, i had sent him a friend request and had his guardian as my background. I pray to Smoggy every night before decrypting engrams, thanking him for the RNG i've been given. "Smoggy is Love" I say. "Smoggy is Life". My dad hears me and he calls me a "scrub" I knew he was just jelous of my devotion for Smoggy I called him a Cheeser He slaps me and sends me to go to rahool Im crying now, and my face hurts... I sit near rahool and it's really cold A Warmth joins me and is moving towards me I feel something touch me It's smoggy. I'm so happy He whispers in to my ear "This is my Gjallarhorn" He grabs me with his powerful titan hands and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I open my vault for Smoggy He penetrates my free slots with Legendaries and Exotics It feels so illegitimate but i do it for Smoggy I can feel my vault fill as my eyes begin to water with happiness I push against his barrier melee as he throws items into my vault I want to impress Smoggy He dances a mighty dance as he finished filling my vault with his Luck My dad walks in Smoggy looks him straight in the eyes and says "Git gud scrub" Smoggy leaves my fireteam Smoggy is love, smoggy is life.