[b]To all you 1-Uppers who think you're so great.[/b]
You've got nothing. Five Gjallarhorns? Pssh. I started the game with Gjallarhorn.
[quote][b]Ghost:[/b] Guardian? Eyes up Guardian. You're alive! You have no idea how long I've been looking for you... It isn't safe, take this Gjallarhorn.[/quote]
Beat Vault of Glass (Hard) 31 times? Really? wow I'm impressed. Not. I bet you cheesed it 16 of those times. I'll tell you what, I pushed of Atheon all by myself... without using grenades. Just shoulder-charged his sorry vex off the shores of time.
Completed Trials flawless on each character? Flew to the lighthouse on Mercury? I picked a fight with a Cabal Phalanx and got a first class ticket to Mercury without even buying a passage. After months of severe pain, the Cabal died from a broken arm.
[i](By the time I destroyed the darkness at its heart, the Stranger admitted I was entirely Interesting ever since the first cinematic. Since then I've become so popular with the ladies Super Good Advice took my Exotic bounty for dating tips.)[/i]
[b]Think you can 1-Up me? Comment why you think you are the most hardcore Guardian; I strongly doubt you could be since the position you are applying for is already taken. ;)
Good luck Guardian, you are going to need it.[/b]
_____
(19) [b]Exalted Mentions[/b]
[i]A list of Game-Breaking Guardian entries.[/i][spoiler]
#1 [b]DABEAST KING360[/b][quote]I showed Crota what a real dark below looks like.[/quote]
#2 [b]Biglloyd325[/b]
[quote]Me and Veriks once arm wrestled... Now he wears his prosthetics in shame.[/quote]
#3 [b]Jbogsniper3[/b]
[quote]I walk through lightning grenades because I like how it tickles when they hit you.[/quote]
#4 [b]nemanel21[/b]
[quote]They used to tell children stories about me to frighten them.
But now...
They're frightened anyway.[/quote]
#5 [b]Cayde 6[/b]
[quote]I violated the [b][u]Code of Conduct[/u][/b] and [i]have slain the ninja that came for me[/i][/quote]
#6 [b]OMG Terrorize[/b]
[quote]I bench pressed the Traveler up to where it sits.[/quote]
#7 [b]spicnspan69[/b]
[quote]I beat atheon, in the dark below, with my Nintendo light gun, 30 years ago.[/quote]
#8 [b]SoulxShifter[/b]
[quote]I have the death singers song on my playlist[/quote]
#9 [b]DarkLordBacon[/b]
[quote]I have 25001 glimmer.
I killed a Centurion once, all I had to do was glare at him and he shot himself in fear.
I beat up a Dreg once and I downgraded him to a lower rank.
The Traveler is my Ghost.
When I do LvL 35 PoE I get 2 etheric light.
I can equip 3 exotics at a time.[/quote]
#10 [b]Amadas[/b]
[quote]I fist of havoc smash into ketch full of Lego blocks, bare foot.[/quote]
#11 [b]TurtleFuzz81[/b]
[quote][b]I[/b] revived dinglebot in old Russia.[/quote]
#12 [b]A Hunter[/b]
[quote]All I had to do was walk up to Crota and he kneeled before me[/quote]
#13 [b]Damaged Titan[/b]
[quote]I have 5000 armor..... When I am naked[/quote]
#14 [b]Soap[/b]
[quote]I'm here to kill guardians and chew bubble gum... And I'm all out of guardians.[/quote]
#15 [b]BrunoxXx666[/b]
[quote]Warlocks don't self res, I pull them back from the grave to beat them again[/quote]
#16 [b]Choking Apples[/b]
[quote]The stranger tried telling me a story. I stopped her mid sentence and said "I don't have time to listen."[/quote]
#17 [b]Spectre[/b]
[quote]I'm that badass i finished the Uranus raid without wiping[/quote]
#18 [b]EM4N141[/b]
[quote]You drink orange juice with pulp? I drink Vex Milk! Straight from the vex[/quote]
#19 [b]JarodColdBreak[/b]
[quote]I fought Skolas for so long without giving up, that he got tired and went back to Orbit.
He also didn't have a checkpoint.[/quote]
[/spoiler]_____
(27) [b]Honorable Mentions[/b]
[i]A list of Hardcore Guardian entries.[/i][spoiler]
#1 [b]Variks[/b]
[quote]I am the only Fallen you can't kill.[/quote]
#2 [b]MarcusWK[/b]
[quote]I'm the reason the vex built the vault of glass. They're trying to find a reality where they beat me. So far it's 1,094,235 and counting realities where I still wipe them from existence.[/quote]
#3 [b]Svrah[/b]
[quote]I hack computers and open up doors, then I tell my ghost "I thought you had the hard job."[/quote]
#4 [b]Gavlaan[/b]
[quote]I told the Queen to bring me the head of a Vex Gatelord.[/quote]
#5 [b]StrykerHunter[/b]
[quote]I made the Stranger have an identity crisis.[/quote]
#6 [b]Darth Tashnut[/b]
[quote]I made the Speaker tell me of the great battle with the Darkness[/quote]
#7 [b]Skyler50x[/b]
[quote]I've made the speaker speechless.[/quote]
#8 [b]Cloudless9[/b]
[quote]I beat down Skolas... with the Aegis[/quote]
#9 [b]ShawShank Guard[/b]
[quote]Playing crucible when I threw a grenade and it killed 6. Then the grenade blew up.[/quote]
#10 [b]Who da llama[/b]
[quote]I won a staring contest with a Gorgon.[/quote]
#11 [b]He Man[/b]
[quote]I chained phogoth up after beating him in arm wrestling[/quote]
#12 [b]SilverFox117[/b]
[quote]So, you do all your bounties daily? Well I did the Postmortem bounty without dying.[/quote]
#13 [b]Kodsumdad66[/b]
[quote]I'm so good I shoulder charge as a warlock.[/quote]
#14 [b]NightBartek[/b]
[quote]crota needs a fireteam of 6 to kill me, 1 needs to be a hunter to swordbear[/quote]
#15 [b]BraveCole[/b]
[quote]I gave Variks a house[/quote]
#16 [b]That One Dreg[/b]
[quote]I'm the guy that gets all the bosses in their prison of elder cages[/quote]
#17 [b]TheKillJoy[/b]
[quote]I sent the nightfall to orbit.[/quote]
#18 [b]tacoman0411[/b]
[quote]I bench the weight of darkness
times 10[/quote]
#19 [b]Sol[/b]
[quote]I have so many engrams the cave loots me[/quote]
#20 [b]CherubicYew60[/b]
[quote]On yeah? I have so many exotics that the Nine are my garbage collectors.[/quote]
#21 [b]K41M1K4ZE[/b]
[quote]Xur is only leaving for the week because he has to do my dishes and serve me some coffee[/quote]
#22 [b]RustlerofJimmies[/b]
[quote]When ever the angry modifier is on, I stare at a phalanx and it flinches.[/quote]
#23 [b]covert29[/b]
[quote]I got my first vex on my first hard mode vog...from the spirit bloom cave[/quote]
#24 [b]D1rtyViking[/b]
[quote]I once did the jumping puzzle in the VoG.... with an unleveled subclass[/quote]
#25 [b]TuRcAnAtOr3[/b]
[quote]The game only lets me have 1 character cause I am an exotic[/quote]
#26 [b]MettalicFingerz[/b]
[quote]I use a phalanx for transportation[/quote]
#27 [b]Good Juju[/b]
[quote]During a Nightfall, I get 1,000,000+ kills...
with my melee...
when Lightswitch is on.[/quote]
[/spoiler]_____
(16) [b]Less Honorable Mentions[/b]
[i]A list of Tough Guardian entries.[/i][spoiler]
#1 [b]TuRdLeKING[/b]
[quote]When ghost says i hope they dont mind if we take their pikes, i call the dreg owners and ask them if they mind[/quote]
#2 [b]Kothir[/b]
[quote]I ate a bowl of spin metal for breakfast this morning.
[i]without any milk.[/i][/quote]
#3 [b]Qwerty[/b]
[quote]I've survived an Old Russia patrol...
without a tetanus shot.[/quote]
#4 [b]Nobody[/b]
[quote]I went flawless in trials, and I lost every match.[/quote]
#5 [b]Awesome JZ[/b]
[quote]I once shot myself in the foot while in water... Crota was found dead the next day.[/quote]
#6 [b]Nerdy_Guru[/b]
[quote]I may not be as good as you but I know I'm better than Gandalf, because I get more than chatterwhite when I beat a raid boss.[/quote]
#7 [b]A Fig[/b]
[quote]I routinely call my ghost "Little Light"[/quote]
#8 [b]vitisku1[/b]
[quote]I once called my ghost little light....he found it hilarious.[/quote]
#9 [b]Always Feral[/b]
[quote]I'm the one who trapped Crota's soul in that giant green slab of Jolly Rancher.[/quote]
#10 [b]Ninjambi[/b]
[quote]My Tower and Reef k/d's are positive.[/quote]
#11 [b]ThisPotato[/b]
[quote]You're out looking for ghost shells.
I'm the one who hid them[/quote]
#12 [b]Kialand[/b]
[quote]When I found the Dead Guardian in the Moon, the Hive screamed in terror and ran as they saw me:
"[i]We've woken the Light![/i]"[/quote]
#13 [b]iLutzen[/b]
[quote]Oh yeah? Well I tried applying to Dead Orbit, and they said I was too edgy for them.[/quote]
#14 [b]lostcityrocker[/b]
[quote]I use arc weapons on void shields... during solar burn.[/quote]
#15 [b]antdawg33[/b]
[quote]I stepped on a LEGO at 3am and I didn't cry[/quote]
#16 [b]fballguy[/b]
[quote]I solo cosmodrome patrol without cheesing[/quote]
[/spoiler]_____
[u]Recent additions[/u] [i]12:10pm Aug 5th[/i]
[b]JarodColdBreak[/b] E19 | [b]TuRcAnAtOr3[/b] H25
[b]MettalicFingerz[/b] H26 | [b]Good Juju[/b] H27
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The Traveler got it's name when it started running from me
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I don't fight Atheon I play chess with him...[spoiler]and I win[/spoiler]
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Edited by nnnooonnnooo: 8/2/2015 7:05:29 AMI can take five shank melees to the face without crying and my hype man shot himself from all the hype EDIT: looking for a new hype man you will only last one hour after you see what I do
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I'm such a badass... That I know what the Captain of the Silent Fang said.
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I don't go to the lighthouse. The lighthouse comes to me. [spoiler]Kappa[/spoiler]
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Error Codes are scared to get me. [spoiler]Sorry, I tried.[/spoiler]
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Dames of Destiny and the all white clan recruited me. [spoiler]i'm a black guy[/spoiler]
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I am a bowl of crunchy nut
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I shut the light off at the light house.
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I'm my own error code
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Iron Banner never lags for me.
-
Edited by Turtle: 8/2/2015 7:34:33 AMI have 3 gallys. Got them all within 1 hour today haha scrubs can't get I because if rng. 28 Poe first run on titan. Nightfall 10 minutes later. And then VoG hard run right after. Git gud scrubs By the way. My Xbox characters all have them too. I just want hawkmoon
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My guardian is the reincarnation of Chuck Norris. I have 3 34s, one of each class, all of them are Chuck Norris. He alternates without going to the menu and changing characters. He is a Hun-lock-itan. Skolas is in the PoE only because he's afraid of my Hunter.
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I came from the moon
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I've never cheesed atheon :/
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I did the precision headshot bounty... only on Praetorians, using Dregs Promise
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I dismantled Praetorian's Foil.
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I killed the Captain with the question marks on Earth with a level 3 character.
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I took their pikes[spoiler]without worrying if they'd mind[/spoiler]
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I went on my Titan and got 500 kills. Then I finally loaded into the game
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I'm so tough I made the Stranger explain why she doesn't even have time to explain
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I tainted Skolas. I detain Qodron I puke and slow down Gulrot I gain healt by basically eating servitors I burned Urrox
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The traveler decrypted an engram and it turned into ME
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I'm 900lbs and extremely militarized Fukn merica!
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you got me fuqt up if you think I'm clicking all of those spoilers
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Hahaha some of these are making me laugh my ass off.