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6/26/2015 4:07:10 AM
243
Giving Blacksmith shader to whoever tells the funniest joke.
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A bra, a car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar. Bra walks up to the bartender and says, "gimme three beers." Bartenders says, "sorry, I can't serve you." The bra says, "why not?" Bartender says, "Well, you're already off your tits and the other two look like they wanna start something."
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Ever hear about dale Earnhardt in heaven? So two saints are hanging out in heaven n see Dale walk by. One Saint goes " what the hell man, we've been saints for like 14,000 years now, n we got these little ass halos. He's been here for 2 years n has a big halo" Other saint replies "dude .... That's not a halo, it's a steering wheel"
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1 ReplyWhy did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants? So you could read her lips.
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What's the difference between your ghost and a burglar?[spoiler]The burglar doesn't set off every alarm[/spoiler]
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2 Replies[quote]Code will be given out on July 1st.[/quote] Blacksmith shader codes have expired.
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2 RepliesTwo hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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3 RepliesTwo cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her t*ts, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
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What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? I don't know but I would to if my name was HDROEBDOWVEKFHEKDJC
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Hey girl are those pants purple Because dat a** is legendary
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Moist
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5 Replies3 missionaries are flying over the dense jungles of South America and their plane fails. They hit the ground and all survive, when they wake up they realize they were taken by a group of cannibals. They are then approached by the chief and they are told that if they want to survive they must pass 3 trials. The first trial is they must go into the jungle and find 10 of the same fruit. All 3 go into the jungle as fast as they can. The first guy comes back with apples. The chief says to him that to pass the second trial he must put all 10 fruit in his butt and the 3rd trial is to not make a face at all or grunt or moan. So the missionary see's what he must do and accepts the challenge. He gets the 1st apple in easily, then tries to get the second apple in but let's out a grunt. The cannibals stab him and throw him in a pot for dinner. The 2nd guy shows up with 10 blueberries and is told the same thing. He accepts and goes to work, he starts putting them in with ease he him gets to 9 without making a noise and looks up and starts laughing. The cannibals were confused but still stabbed him and through him in a pot for dinner. The 1st and 2nd men are outside of the gates of heaven. The 2nd guy looks over to the 1st guy and says what did you pick. He says Apple and returns the question to the 2nd guy and he replies with blueberries. The first guy is sent reeling in astonishment. "How did you die with blueberries"! Then the second guy responds with " I saw the 3rd guy walk out with pineapples". Ta-da!
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This entire game. *drops mic*
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So these two guardians walk into a bar. Then- OH WAIT THE PUNCH LINE COMES IN THE NEXT DLC
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I'm a retard and didn't pre order the Fallout 4 pipboy edition now here's the joke it comes out on my birthday :/
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Destiny's storyline
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I would tell a joke, but I don't have any funny enough for you to throw your money at the screen to hear
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My girlfrirnd is like my gjallarhorn....... I dont have one
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Put an Alligator in my vest, Now thats an Invetigator
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What o you call a guy with a seagull on his head [spoiler]cliff[/spoiler]
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My life
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Here's a joke: [spoiler]Thorn is not OP[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyDon't let an extra chromosome get you down. I'll see myself out
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2 RepliesAn Older man drives out of the Car dealer with his brand new Ferrari Convertible. He feels the wind in his hair and thinks maybe i should speed up, He continous to speed up and is enjoying the high speed. Suddenly he sees the blue lights og a cop car in his mirrors, and he decides to speed up further. then he thinks to himself , shit i am a old man i cannot be doing this so he stops . The Police officer steps up , and says i am off work in 30 minuts and i really dont need the paperwork, so if you can give me a exuse i never heard before, i will let you go. The old man looks up and says, A while ago My wife left me with a police officer, i Thought you were here to deliver here back.
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1 ReplyDid you know that vans without windows could tell the future? They told me my butt was gonna hurt the next morning.
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Ghjallyhorn
