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5/28/2015 6:25:50 PM
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*Jay and fulgrim do zigzag motions as they run to the car*
Im way too drunk still you drive fulgrim!
*Jay tosses the keys at fulgrim and does a dukes of hazard slide over the hood before getting in*
*Tampons begin pinging off the windshield and car doors as the half-naked women descend upon the brave men like bats outta hell*
*Once inside the car even in this dire situation Jay lights a blunt and hands Fulgrim a pair of tinted aviators*
English
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*The tampon-army advances*
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*Jay lowers his own set of glasses* Oh. . .my. . .GOD IT'S SHADOW!! *In front of the car stands shadow clad in pink camo and war face paint, she doesn't look too happy*
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*I raise my tampon-sword, and charge at you. The tampon army behind me charges as well*
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Drive fulgrim drive! *Yells Jay as fulgrim pulls a U-turn and peels out* *Jay with an open beer in one hand hangs out the window and flips off the army with his other free hand*
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*A tampon knocks the beer out of your hand, as another misses your head. You see the army loading up into large pink tampon tanks behind you*
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*Jay looks on the brink of tears* That was a full beer. . . *His face hardens* You. . .you bastards! *he shakes his fist angrily but soon stops as he notices the tanks* Oh that's so unfair. . .
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*fulgrim roars with rage as he activated the blinking red button on the dashboard of the general lee* *a giant weapon morphs out of the roof of the car - it's a oscillating queef-powered death ray* *he points it at the army of tampon warriors, laughing maniacally as he presses the launch button, but it backfires* *the queefblast reflects off of shadow and blows up the car!!* *fulgrim and jay are catapulted our of the car as a queef-nado engulfs* "SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!!!" They scream as they are caught by the queef-nado
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*the ferocious alphatwat swoops overhead, screaming like an enraged pterodactyl.. She is totally blind - seeing with her specialized queef-o-location, similar to a bat* *she let's out a whimsical queef and sees as the sound echos back to her ears..* *there is no escaping the alphatwat*
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[spoiler]XD im dying[/spoiler] *Jay transforms into a wraith in a burst of black flames* Noooooo all the beer! *he yells as he grabs fulgrim and they fly to the nearest bass pro shops to take cover*
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*The tampon army sets up beauty shops outside the bass pro shop and wait*
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*fulgrim looks at jay seriously* "Ain't no fkn say I'm goin out there..." *gets distracted by a squirrel.. Chases squirrel outside* "FKFKFKFKFKFK"!! Attempts to run back in
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*Closes the door quickly as tampons pelt the door* Damn it fulgrim you need to chill, i can't think sober *Jay says as he opens a 12-pack of Budweiser black crowns, handing one to fulgrim* I can't believe you tried to use female technology! You know how dangerous it is! It's too emotionally unstable! *Jay says as he chugs two beers at once*
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[spoiler]hahaha @ female tech being unstable [/spoiler]
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*You hear a commotion outside*
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Shhh Fulgrim *Jay opens the blinds of a window and peeks outside*
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*You see the army beginning to put up several tampon cannons. One notices you and begins yelling at the others*
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Edited by Trejo444: 5/28/2015 8:14:11 PMOH FÜUUUUUCK! *yells Jay as he and fulgrim dive for cover as an explosion rocks the whole store* *Jay and fulgrim cough Stumbling to their feet* *Jay falls to his knees as a tear falls down his cheek, the 12-pack was crushed under rubble* Sleep well sweet prince. . . *Says Jay as he is tentatively touching the amber liquor flowing from underneath the rubble*
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*fulgrim disappears* *comes back with wigs and makeup* [i]ten minutes later[/i] *fulgrim and jay attempt to ride away on scooters dressed as slutty twat-mongers*
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*Shadow sees you as you ride by her* "Hey!!! There they are!!!" *The tampon army turns and chases you, as some begin to load up into the tanks again*
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Here we go again! *Yells Jay as he throws off the wig* You'll never take me alive! *Jay screams as he pulls a wheelie* *the army with shadow give chase, and Jay leads them in figure 8's through the city as the song above plays*
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*The army splits in two, and one half heads moves to cut you off as the rest follow you*
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*Jay screeches to a halt, he is surrounded* Fulgrim? *he is nowhere to be seen, and the frenzied woman surround him* It's time. . . *he puts on a helmet and flips the visor down, He revs the engine*
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*The tampon tank's turrets swivel at you, and begin to charge up* "You have no escape!!!!"
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*Jay floors it and the world moves in slow motion as the adrenaline pumps, the song above plays* FOR MMMEEEEEENNNNNNN!!!! *He charges wielding a wizard stick made up of duck taped Budweiser cans pointed at the tanks like a lance*
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*The tanks fire, sending tampon missiles flying at you as you charge. The ranks of tampon warriors in front of you hold out tampon lances, waiting to impale you*
