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Edited by Lord Sicarius: 4/23/2015 7:41:16 PM
145

Why males are obsolete

This is PROOF that men just can't hang with girls! These things will show you why guys can't compare themselves to girls! All of you guys who think you're so cool and that you're hot stuff need to fall off their self made pedestal and bow before the superiority of females. We are infallible, and nothing can go against the evidence. This proves it all! Girls are just naturally better than guys! Don't you see it? It's just so obvious how we're so much better! All you have to do is look you blind fish walnut containers! EVIDENCE THAT GIRLS ARE BETTER THAN GUYS: 1. We know we're better. 2. We buy things on sale that we don't need. 3. We don't know what we want but we want it. 4. Your argument is invalid, periods. 5. I'm mad, angry, mellow, sad, happy, depressed, joyful, annoyed, entertained, tired, estatic, nervous. (See #4) 6. We're always right. (See #'s 1 and 4) 7. We deliver babies. 8. It takes us an hour to get dressed. 9. We like camping, as long as it's in the kitchen. 10. We have our own language. 11. Yes = no, no = yes, maybe = no, go ahead = do it and you'll die, I'm fine = I'm definitely not fine, nothing = something (see #10) 12. Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. 13. We make sandwiches (with no mayonnaise and extra lettuce) This is scientific fact that girls are better than guys! Don't even try, you'll just lose to us anyways. Your minds are not big enough to understand the extreme complexity of the most important beings on this planet! [b]For those willing to admit defeat I will give out chocolate pudding! Being defensive will just show me that your afraid! Admit you are afraid and I will spare you c:[/b] Also, if you "like" this post, I will give you a lettuce sandwich. Why lettuce? Because we don't need your meat! You can beat your own meat! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [b]Liking this post will help it get to Highest Rated. Let this anger the feminists![/b]

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  • I have been in the situation of being "optional" and while it took a while for my ego to adjust, I did actually learn from the situation. Now that I think about it though, this is probably going to be one of those "long Recon stories". I know, a satire thread shouldn't get long and serious answers, but let an old man ramble. Maybe it will be interesting, maybe not. But I am typing and don't know when I will stop. I was in my early 20's, working in the food/service industry (at a bar/restaurant) and needed a place to stay or a roommate. One of the bartenders was a friend of mine and she offered to let me stay at the apartment she shared with her girlfriend on a "short term basis, we'll see how it goes, but if it gets uncomfortable, you're out" basis. Which was fine by me, it sure beat sleeping in my car. So, I moved in with my friend, met her girlfriend (who was cautious and a bit "arms length" with me) and we became roomies. My friend, who I already knew well and had a lot in common with, became even better friends and over time, her girlfriend adjusted and went from leery of me, to accepting, and then even comfortable with my presence. It was very clear that they loved each other, and I didn't make any moves to interfere, or to intrude on their happy relationship. We'd hang out, talk, drink, listen, and I learned more about each of them, how they met, how great they were for each other, better understood why they were in love, and they were my lesbian roomies. I never thought that they hated men, they just didn't see a need, a point or have any interest in them. Fine by me, and it clearly worked for them. They were both young, attractive, very into each other, and so, for me, it was just the way it was. When they headed off to bed at night, it was not anything that anyone was uncomfortable or awkward with. Eventually, as happens with friends, the rib-poking and jokes started occurring, to be honest, THEY started it. Comments like, "dude, it must be so HARD for you, like being a diabetic in a candy store" and since they were joking/teasing, I would give it back as best I could, but they always had better taunts and jokes than I, so I just learned to roll with it as part of being friends. Then they started getting louder in their room, and louder. Then I noticed that sometimes their door was left cracked, and later, eventually it was left open. The mental image of two attractive women making love was already pretty amazing, but then hearing it frequently, and then occasionally catching a glimpse as I was headed to/from my own room.... well, it went from an amazing imaginary mental image to something very real and (since I didn't want to intrude or make them uncomfortable) very distracting. Well, one evening, they were very loud, and as I went to my room, their door was open again, so I was in my room..... well, dealing with my personal reaction to the situation. Suddenly the door was open and standing in the doorway was my friend's girlfriend. She said something along the lines of "well, I guess that hints aren't getting through to you, so if you want to take care of that yourself, you can stay here, or you can come into our room." Wow. They laid out some ground rules. Important ones. That I was there at their invitation, I was a guest, this was not about me or any male-fantasy, but rather they were curious, interested and trusted me enough to see if I had anything to add/offer to their playtime. That it was not an open-invitation, they would let me know if/when I was invited, that they loved each other, but they both liked and trusted me, and that if anyone decided "nope", then that was that. Talk about being on thin ice. Anyway, the fact that we had become close friends, knew each other, talked, listened and laughed a lot together, while it was awkward (especially at first), I learned a lot from both of them (about them, women in general, and about myself). Because we talked. A lot. About everything. And one of the biggest lessons that I learned is that when it came to their enjoyment? I was a curio and not the primary focus or main event. Or, as my friend once said half-jokingly as a jab, "Just remember, you can easily be replaced by a lump of silicone and some batteries". So what did I learn and what was the point of all of this typing? Well, the topic is "Males are obsolete". And my personal experience has taught me that when it comes to women, men aren't required, but when they are desired? That's when things get interesting. The same is true in the inverse. Men don't "need women", despite their tears, the stereotypical foreveralone isn't incomplete, they are just lonely. People (male/female) can be alone, they can want the company of others, and it is when they find the right company who wants to be with them just as much? The idea of "obsolete" becomes silly.

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    • Don't care Don't want to care

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      • How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!?

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        • Edited by Elite-Hunter_17: 4/25/2015 10:57:57 PM
          I can only imagine the kind of responses this must've generated. OP, good luck lol.

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          • This was a painfully uninspiring and witless attempt at satire. If ever there was a more ironic post, it would actually be made of iron. I'd consider turning in my grave, but I haven't got one.

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            • And this is why humanity is going to end. ಥ_ಥ

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              • Also,I'm a guy, I won't back down, but, I'm also not gonna try to stop an female. Ever. I'm stubborn but even I can't win a fight against a girl. I'm fine with being a slave....

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                • Teach me more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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                  • You disappoint me, flood

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                    • It's official. I have lost all hope in humanity.

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                      • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [spoiler]keep it cumming ;)[/spoiler]

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                        • This was hilarious and stupid

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                          • This is simple everyone blacks whites boys girls everyone and every living thing on this planet of ours is created equally even when people say that there not there the ones wrong spread the love and kill the hate.

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                            • This thread, it's beautiful

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                              • Edited by Nobody: 4/24/2015 2:39:10 PM
                                THIS IS SO SEXIST. [spoiler]Posts like this should be enshrined for how awesome they are! All of my thumbs up.[/spoiler]

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                                • I can feel their blood thickening with rage ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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                                  • OH MAN THIS SURE ISN'T A TROLL

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                                    • I am a little jealous that guys do not have to suffer through Satan's sacrificial waterfall each month.

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                                      • My penis still goes [i]into[/i] your vagina. Until that flips, I remain the #masterrace. [spoiler]Also: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)[/spoiler]

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                                        • Males are the superior race that's why females are supposed to stay at home and tend to the kitchen.

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                                        • Lol yeah. But you get to wear makeup. We have to look hot naturally.

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                                          • See 12. Profit.

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                                            • ;)

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                                            • You violated the code of conduct and should be met with ninja justice

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                                              • 1
                                                Where's that bone marrow fool ? She should see this .

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                                                • This is probably the most sexist thing I've seen in a while, and I watch Star Trek.

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