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Edited by Maras Wrath:
9/24/2015 3:24:41 PM
291
A love letter to one of your favorite weapons.
Dear Black Hammer,
Thank you for always pushing me to do be better. The precision mag bonus that you give me for playing well is so wonderful. You are so selfless and humble being classified as a mere legendary so that my Gjallarhorn can still come along on our adventures together. I vow now to never dismantle you. I vow that you will always have a slot on solar burn strikes. Thank you for everything you have done, Black Hammer.
Go on, Guardians.
Show one of your favorite weapons a little love.
These are great! Keep 'em comin', guardians!
[b]wow, guys! 100 replies!
Let the love flow though you. <3 [/b]
[i]200+! You guys are rad. [/i]
[u]450+! I should bake you all cupcakes.[/u]
[b]EDIT: I dismantled my Black Hammer for a measly 100 Eris Morn rep. Now I feel guilty. [/b]
English
#Destiny
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2 RepliesDear ORS1/Send It/ Feeding Frenzy/Rangefinder/Solar Purifier, I know you are a fusion rifle. I know I didn't used to like fusion rifles. They emitted constant streams of energy. Just like you. But you are different. You do not have accelerated coils. You are not a cheap scrub weapon. You must be pre charged. But you have best in class impact stability and range. Which I guess range translates to velocity but whatever you know what I mean. You are perfect for my Titan with extra special ammo. I can completely spam you in Crucible. In fact I get triple downs with you in Skirmish. When I don't care about my player rep. And last week I used you to solo a tlw/thorn doubles combo. And we won. Because even though I soloed them. I was not alone. I had you. And my Universal Remote. But mostly you. Because even on Anomaly, Universal Remote is a piece of shit compared to TLW. But you are not. Because of radar. Granted that you would probably suck dick in Inferno. All you do in normal PvP is suck my dick. Which feels very good. You even one shot nightfall shanks. Feel free to one shot my shank any time. sincerely gcWishBone
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Dear No Land Beyond You fire like a little bitch. So get to work on what you're good at... Getting dismantled BIOTCH.
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1 ReplyEdited by qaz: 5/18/2015 4:16:57 AMdear the devil you dont [spoiler]i hope you -blam!-ing die[/spoiler]
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Dear Suros, You're as potent as my balls after that operation. YOU'RE DUMPED!! Love, winkie.
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Edited by GlobalHurdle208: 5/18/2015 7:42:43 AMDear Up For Anything You are by far one of the best auto rifles I've ever had the privilege of using. Your perfect RNGenerated perks; crowd control and perfect balance, along with the Single point sling, brought me through thick and thin within the crucible. So thank you, RNGsus, for blessing me with this rifle. And thank you, Up For Anything, for staying with my warlock throughout my high-leveled plights. -Sincerely, Globalhurdle207
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Dear Two To The Morgue. It's so great that you have a great range and then you also came with Send It! It's amazing how strong you are! Who needs an exotic shotgun like The 4th Horse-shit when a legendary like you is all I need? That means the bad juju and obsidian mind is still an option. I love you so much and can't believe my K/D ratio is now so high. Yours sincerely. YourMajesty_IV
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Dear Thorn, You are love, You are life...
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Dedicated to my Hawkmoon.
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Dear TDYK, Thank you for being a lot better than your retarded cousin. Sexually, InhibitedEmu760
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5 RepliesDear MIDA, Sorry the sex was so awkward last night (not sure how to use that extra "thingy" on the side). Let's do this again sometime...I need my pants back too. Best! ~a very lonely Hunter~
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Dear Thorn, Thank you for Fvcking sh!t up
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Dear Thorn, I love you so much. Every time I run with you in my hands I have to draw my eyes all over you because you look so awesome. I love how if there's a line of Trall in front of me, I can shoot once and they all die. I love how you keep shields down and keep a damaging burden over all enemies you touch. Bungee pls dun nurf.
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Dear No Land Beyond People say you suck But when I use you people duck In pvp you have no equal But I hope HoW doesn't give you a sequel
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Vex Mythoclast U mah bae Luh ya boo Fa sho
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Edited by A High Servitor: 5/18/2015 2:15:08 AMDear Felwinters, I love you and your OP range. You have gotten me through the roughest of times, whether it be Iron Banana, or just simply a boring patrol. You turn me on and keep me pushing forward. The kiddies whine and cry with jealousy about you, and they tell me I suck. I just respond by Blinking and then shoving you up their fat assholes. Pretty sure I heard you telling them to "Git Gud Scrub and learn to counter". even after Bungie nerfed special ammo like heavy, I refuse to give you up, and have zero regrets, even after the hate messages. Felwinters is love, Felwinters is lyfe Love, ObeseNinja18
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Dear Fatebringer -blam!- me -me
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Dear, TFWPKY 1969 Thank you for being my go to weapon in crucible. Thank you for getting me out of tough situations and thank you for your two shot kill. You will always be in my life. And u will upgrade you always Love, Bubble Master
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Dear fate bringer, I have wanted u for a very long time now. RNGesus has not been nice and given you to me. I thought I would obtain you quickly...I was wrong. I almost feel like I should not even try to get you on my side anymore you need to come with me on my journey. Hopefully when I dive into my 21-23 attempts at hard Templar I will see you for the first time. Much love for you even though I don't have u yet. Fate bringer, If you are reading this its not too late. I need you In my life. Love, Ya boy wounded
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Edited by Sir Maximoose: 5/18/2015 12:47:31 AMMy dearest Red Hand IX, Since the moment I knew you existed, I wanted you. I begged and prayed to RNGesus every time I opened a New Monarchy Package and every time at the end of a Nightfall. When you finally dropped it was the happiest moment of my life. Everything around me; the Tower, the vendors, the birds and the ships all stood still as I was blessed by your glorious presence in my NM package. Since then I haven't used any other weapon besides you, and no number of post-HoW hand cannons could ever fill the space on my waist as you do. Always remember that while the game may classify you as a Legendary weapon, you can always rest assured that you are an exotic in my eyes. Always by your side as you have been mine, Sir Maximoose
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Dear The Last Word, I remember when I first saw you drop in the crucible You were my first I deleted my red hand 9 for you But no ragrets, not even 1 letter I remember using you unleveled in nightfalls and raids MLG 360 no scoping vex Your elegant curves and shiny edges Mixed with the elegant way you twirl around my finger. Engraved with markings from days before Protecting the people of earth Every time I hold you I feel I'm holding a piece of history When other warriors of the light surround me You disarm them all with your fan fire When I'm sleeping and your cold steel tongue slides out of your barrel Tickling my feet, laughing, I return the favor Just 2 grown men sharing the night Feels so wrong But it's just right Love, A guardian
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Dear Thunderlord I wanted u so bad and saw all my friends get you but I never got you. Finally when xur sold u I have never let u go. You have been by my side through all the nightfalls and the endless queen bounties I grinded for to get the treasure keys. You are the best and can't wait to ascend you and wreck in the prison if elders with you. Your Pal FreezerBurnt427
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To my dear Supremacy, My dear Supremacy, you were my first legendary when I was only level 23.From when I first met you when draksis had been defeated I still love you so. I stand legion to the queen in your honour. You have been with me through all the tough times ; The endless strikes, The Death of Crota and even the Fall of Atheon. I vow to never dismantle you nor replace you. With love, ~LBPman122
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Dear, Fatebringer I grinded forever trying to get a look at you, and the day I finally did you have been by my side ever since. Your one of a kind, no Handcannon can ever replace you. You've suprised me when you appeared in my bag and I ranked you in 2 hours. You will always be by my side.
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Edited by Waverly Hazard: 5/18/2015 12:24:45 AMDear Hawkmoon, You're such a sexy beast. You always turn me on. I love your smooth body. I love the sound you make when I play with you. Did you know, you were my first (exotic)? Most of all, you're very loyal. Out of all my raid team, you only dropped for me. <3 Love, FireAndIce92
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Edited by circusicle: 5/18/2015 12:14:16 AMDear Thunderlord, That clank, clank sound you make turns me on baby. The way you shoot faster and faster every second makes me feel so overwhelmed. Baby I will love you till the day I die. I know your not any Gjallerhorn, but baby you are mine. Love, Circus
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1 ReplyJessie is a friend, Yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine But lately something's changed It ain't hard to define Jessie's got himself a gally and I want to make it mine And he's watching it with those eyes And he's shootin it with that body, I just know it! And he's holding it in his arms late, late at night You know I wish that I had Jessie's gally! I wish that I had Jessie's gally Where can I find an exotic like that? I play along with the charade That doesn't seem to be a reason to change You know I feel so dirty when they start killing mobs I wanna tell him that I want it but the point is probably moot 'Cause he's watching it with those eyes And he's shootin it with that body, I just know it! And he's holding it in his arms late, late at night You know I wish that I had Jessie's gally I wish that I had Jessie's gally Where can I find an exotic like that? Like Jessie's gally I wish that I had Jessie's gally Where can I find an exotic... Where can I find an exotic like that? And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time Wonderin' what RNG don't see in me I've been raiding; I've been cool in the nightfalls Ain't that the way RNG's supposed to be? Tell me, why can't I find an exotic like that? You know I wish that I had Jessie's gally I wish that I had Jessie's gally I want Jessie's gally Where can I find an exotic like that? Like Jessie's gally I wish that I had Jessie's gally I want, I want Jessie's gally *I'm talking about the Gjallarhorn people*
